Sybil Bruncheon has been performing on stage, radio, TV, film, and in various Vaudeville, burlesque, church basement, county fair, and sideshow....uh..."venues" for most of her 29 years. She is available for bookings for just about anything and can be reached at bruncheon@hotmail.com and on her website sybilbruncheon.com. She is a proud member of the Actors Equity Association and the Screen Actors Guild. Her erdo number is 16.
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A growing field of potential Democratic presidential candidates has now brought the number to 314 as of this week. In just the last week, these nine have registered their names with the nomination board.
Top row (l. to r.)
1) State Senator Jillian Tynan; entering as a champion of the Narcolepsy Activation Front, empowering all people who suffer from unexpected sleepiness or even boredom. "Equal Pay For the Asleep AND the Awake! NOW!!"
2) Town Comptroller Patty Kampus; centrist conciliator from the Empathy Lobby, interested in seeing BOTH sides of every argument, simultaneously... and being able to discuss it all in two different voices at the same time. (will definitely need a special detail of security personnel if elected to keep her from walking into walls)
3) Phyllis Buskin, political socialite, whose entire proposed campaign will be based on air-pollution. Tomkin is the heiress to the Buskin Baked Bean fortune and has spent millions of dollars on the possible discovery of a “gasless baked bean”. Barring that, she is now very invested with the Prince Matchabelli company in a bean that might produce flatulence along the lines of Wind Song… or Poof!
Middle row (l. to r.)
4) Edna Marie Calendula; (possibly 112 years old). Edna has had no experience in politics but is the great- great-grandmother of one hundred and eighty-nine descendants, and figures that if she could make nourishing lunches for that many people in four generations she should be able to do something about inflation, environmental breakdown, and deepening political schisms all on a typical housewife's budget... and still not sacrifice vitamins, minerals, and old-fashioned common sense.
5) Former Mayor of Kotter's Falls, Idaho, Kirk Flant; record-holder of surviving more lightning strikes than anyone in history, Kirk’s “green” campaign cause is the promotion of a sustainable world for our children. Bathing only in the rain, and encouraging people to generate their own electricity by standing under trees or near flag poles are two of his groundbreaking ideas. Not for the faint of heart.
6) School Superintendent Felipe Charmont; Francophile and Three Musketeers re-enactor, Charmont suggests that education is the most important issue for the next century. He states that all public and private schools should require students from pre-K to college graduates should be in period costumes and should go out into the world and live as the culture and in the language of their choice. At all costs, contemporary American culture should be shunned… and eliminated. His favorite milieu?... Versailles in the 1730s… or perhaps the Neanderthal caverns in Lascaux, complete with his own flint spear and bear pelt… cut on the bias, of course!
Bottom row (l. to r.)
7) Water Commissioner Garren Hockweiler; a former chronic depression sufferer, he has made his entire platform the “Mission of Mirth”. All of his public appearances have been accompanied by deafening recordings of hysterical laughing played so loudly that they drown out his actual speeches. In print, he claims that “words are the enemy of joy, especially when they deal with depressing things like facts”. His promise to his constituents is that his presidency will be “fact-free”… but FUN!
8) Hong Chow Gung, city council member and restauranteur. Hong is very concerned in the growing epidemic of allergies. Suffering himself from over fifty-three separate airborne, food-borne, and contact allergies, he has turned his own restaurant, The Sneezing Lily, into an amateur laboratory with MSG ice cream, ground pepper aerosols, fiber-glass napkins and table cloths, and cat-dander dumplings. His customers have reported improvements in their allergy sensitivities… that is the ones who haven’t died.
9) Columnist Joselle Hampdour; pundit and newscaster known for her huge following both in print and on air. Her position as a harsh critic of any and every political idea has earned her the title of Snarker-In-Chief. Interestingly, she won the Miss INcongeniality title in the Miss America contest of 2013. Her talent was onstage taxidermy of her beloved cocker spaniel during the broadcast.
Film at 6. Thirty-five new hopefuls at 11.
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Dear Mummie, Lobbies? Lobby-ists? Lobby-estros? Can you tell us who all these people are milling about in hallways, elevators, public places; shaking hands, waving hands, putting their hands in their pockets... and then putting their hands in OTHER people's pockets? Thanks, Pete!
Dear Pete, Who can say? Here's a case in point! Look closely at this photo, and please read the following answers. You select the correct one:
a) These are two aluminum siding salesmen who are at the ABSOLUTELY ALUMINUM WORLD'S FAIR in Wauseon, Ohio. They are just leaving the "Aluminum Foil Fashion Pavilion" where they've purchased an assortment of reusable and recyclable aluminum négligées for their wives... or out-of-town-girlfriends.
b) These are two fraternity brothers from Beta Eta Theta who have come to their 25th reunion where the opening mixer for the weekend is a frosting-eating contest off of the nude bodies of the Ukrainian flight attendants on another floor.
c) These are two hotel guests hurrying to blind dates just arranged over an internet dating service on their laptops. One of the men is named Terry, and the other is Chris. Sadly, both Terry and Chris can be either men's names... or WOMEN'S!!! Comedy ensues in the fifth floor gentlemen's, shall-we-say, "lounge"!!!!
d) These are two former members of the military who are now retired. Sadly, the one on the left talks to himself frequently, and quite loudly, about very tiny flying saucers in his shoes, and the man on the right has just taken his 43rd selfie of the day and is furious that his rosacea still shows... even after retouching!
e) These are two Log Cabin Republicans. They haven't met yet, but will in just a few minutes near the punch bowl at the Gay & Girlish Gala in the James Buchanan Ballroom. They will marry in a year, and raise llamas in Wisconsin for their luxury sweater boutique.
f) These are two married men from opposite coasts of the country. They and about 80 other men gather every 3 months or so for secret poker championships where expensive bourbon and cigars are served and no wives are allowed. The stakes for the poker games are extremely high... and why not? It's the International Strip Poker Olympics.
g) These are two women who have successfully disguised themselves to spy on their husbands who have slipped out of town for the umpteenth time for some sort of convention. They will get past the reception table and into the ballroom, but will have quite a surprise when they sit down to play poker... and lose several hands. Comedy ensues when they run out of chips.
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...Biff and Scott had a hobby that the other boys at Rutgers didn't quite understand! Still, both boys had been stars of both the rugby AND lacrosse teams, even as incoming freshmen, known for their ferocity and endurance both ON and OFF the field.... (and especially in the locker room showers!!) None of the other college men dared to tease them! In fact, Biff and Scott got lots of nice little presents from their teammates including expensive perfumes, lovely corsages, and tasteful brooches at season's end!! ... they particularly appreciated a fine pair of hose... so to speak...
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Ranch-handress, Lasso-iatrix, cowpokee. Stunt double for Gabby Hayes. · 1952 to present
Is there too much angst and anguish in your life right now? Well, tune in every week to Sybil's live podcast "COME NOW, DON'T SULK!"... Mondays at 8pm EST. Just click on this link to hear any of the shows whenever you like on the Here Be Monsters Network
LISTEN HERE
George Brescia's New Book:
Check out all the great Sybil Bruncheon gifts and collectibles at Zazzle.com Perfect for Holiday gift-giving! Even to YOURSELF! Ten different designs available!! And they can be ordered on T-shirts and other merchandise! Click here:
Sybil Zazzles
Did you know that Mummie has a GoFundMe page for her stories to be published and also performed onstage? Well, here's the link:
Sybil's GoFundMe
Where to go?
GayBarMaps, that's where!! From Florida to Frisco! Key West to Kalamazoo! When you're traveling around the USA, you can find all the great LGBT bars, clubs, and restaurants at GayBarMaps. By the state, by the town!... just click in for a great time!!
GayBarMaps.com
The Lobster Pot Restaurant, Provincetown
Joe Zaso's CAFE HIMBO Cookbook II
