...from Sybil Bruncheon's "EASTER EGGS-traordinaries"... The Eggs-sorcist!

"The Marshmallow Peeps of Syosset compels YOU!

The Cadbury eggs of Poughkeepsie compels YOU!

The Brach's classic jelly beans compels YOU!!"

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Sybil Bruncheon’s 31 Days of Halloween!!!... Just out of reach!

Friends! Be Honest! Are you one of those people who raids your children's Trick-or-Treat bags when they come home after Halloween? Perhaps you sneak candy out in the middle of the night claiming it was the "Tooth Fairy", "Santa Claus"... or "Jimmy Hoffa".... Or are you one of those folks at the office who raids the candy bowl and takes all the Snickers bars... or the Baby Ruths?... Well, did you know that now you can join "Bon Bons Anonymous"... a non-profit and highly compassionate organization that curbs the desperate and uncontrolled desire for commercial an d individually wrapped sweets! You and others like you will be...um...guided away from temptation with counseling, encouragement, spiritual exercises, and other modern "methods" to keep you on the righteous path to physical and emotional salvation… and with special “aversion equipment”. But wait! YOU have to take the first step! That is, if you WANT to get well... ...Call our offices today! Just dial S-T-I-K-Y F-I-N-G-A...!! That's right, dial 784-593-4642.... The nice man will tell you how to order!

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Sybil Bruncheon’s Easter News From Around The World!!!...

Chagrin Falls, Ohio.....It was only when the "Easter Bunny" began foaming at the mouth and growling some sort of gibberish that the police were called. It was later discovered to be graphic anatomical terms about sexual organs recited in Yugoslavian, and spoken backwards. The Bunny's ears also appeared to be horns when viewed in a mirror in the precinct men’s room. A local priest, Father Aloysius Throckmorton was called to exorcise the Bunny, but when Holy Water was thrown on him, the smell of sulfur, burnt marshmallows, and Prince Matchabelli "Wind Song" forced an evacuation of the police headquarters for three hours.... a hazmat team was called, and the EPA sent its specially trained team. They made several attempts to get the Devil-Bunny to surrender quietly, but it resisted, and finally they were forced to open fire. With a shriek of laughter, it disappeared through the floor in a burst of bright pink sparks and flames. Where it had been standing, they found a small pile of scorched Easter basket “grass”….also bright pink… there may have been a decapitated head in its wooden bucket…. Or perhaps just a jumbo-sized Cadbury chocolate crème egg…… melting… melting!.. or was it hatching?

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Sybil Bruncheon's Easter News From Around The World!!!...

Yes, Boys & Girls!..our little friends in Mexico also celebrate Easter! That's when Señor Pasas de Conejo Diablo comes to the back door...or maybe even climbs a ladder and breaks into the house in the middle of the night! He plays castanets and draws children's eyebrows so they look like Frida Kahlo, and he leaves brown rice, beans, and a jalapeño pepper in their slippers!... Now, doesn't THAT sound like a fun way to spend Easter?? ¡Sí cómo no!

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Sybil Bruncheon's Easter News From Around The World!!!...

"On our Planet Jazzuzltron, the Easter candy eats the CHILDREN!!! BWAH HA HA HA HA!!!!!"...

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Sybil Bruncheon's Easter News From Around The World!!!...

"Oh, dear GOD!!!... that baby chick I just ate was made out of ...MARSHMALLOW!!!"

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Sybil Bruncheon's 31 Days of Halloween, and Beyond!...

True Story! Did you know that as the Great Depression deepened in 1930 and on into 1931, folks tried anything they could think of to lift their spirits. Finally, as Halloween neared, some inventive people decided to bring Trick-or-Treating TO the children instead of the Treaters coming to the neighbors' front doors... Nice ladies with special trays would walk the streets distributing candies, homemade cupcakes, and other sweets to grateful and pleasantly surprised passers-by. It all worked out beautifully!... and Halloween in 1931 was always remembered as a magical time by people all over the United States.

It worked out so beautifully, that the following Halloween in 1932, Trick-or-Treating was extended past the 31st and on into the first week of November. Again, a season of cheer, simple joys, and even a general optimism and feeling of shared brotherhood with one's fellow citizens. The following year, as the Depression worsened and the economy and stock market plummeted even further, the Trick-or-Treat Tray-Ladies (as they were NOW known!) continued to distribute all sorts of things through the Fall, past Christmas, and into the New Year.

Sadly, they had given up handing out only candies and had moved on to cheaply manufactured cosmetics that caused rashes, bath-tub hootch made out of paint thinner, defective nylons and underpants, old scratched record albums with filthy songs, and stained photos of bad people with no clothes on making funny faces... Needless to say, they made a fortune. But Halloween in the second half of the 20th century never really recovered...   

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Sybil Bruncheon's "Halloween Morning-Afters"... #182…

… That awful moment when you realize... maybe you ate one too many Twizzlers...

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Sybil Bruncheon’s CHRISTMAS MEMORIES: Papier-mâché Santa Booties!

....So sweet!!!.... I remember getting these from my grandmother filled with candy..... Sadly, there was one particular Winter where things had gotten quite tough financially for my family, and we actually had to wear our papier-mâché booties out into the snowdrifts. Some local children started to make fun of me, and I turned on them in my newspaper-coat with the Life Magazine-lapels, and scornfully told them that my wardrobe was the latest fashion from Maison Dis-Posette and that these were French couture shoes from the "Vicomte Papier Mâché Chaussures Pour Le Fabuleux"!!.... They were all non-plussed, and one of them began to cry a little. Even though I had won, I still decided to slap them around a little.. just to make sure the "lesson took".... and… well, I may have stolen some of their lunch money too...or a Mickey Mouse watch. I can't remember...(I was twenty-three or so…)

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