Sybil Bruncheon’s “My Merry Memoirs”… The Pumpkin House…

There I am at "21" having lunch with Pet Harkness as she tells me about the famous "Pumpkin House" going on the auction block... you know the one, right?… way up on the upper West Side of Manhattan overlooking the Hudson River. It was 1936, and it had been built in the 1920s. I'd been at dozens of parties in it and had always wanted to own it even if it WAS a bit far uptown…and cantilevered off the edge of those cliffs up near Inwood! But the views! And the quiet!... oh my God!

Of course, there was the danger of it falling down in an earthquake, but I met a nice seismologist, Dr. Ibrahim McSulzberger at Rockefeller University, and he had reassured me that they were fairly rare in NYC, and he showed me his seismic water displacement theory while we were taking a bubble bath together. No matter how turbulent the water got, it was unlikely that the bath tub would fall off its foundations! …and we tried many times!! I was ever so relieved!… and my goodness, the doctor got so frisky when he was describing tectonics, but I told him I could find "no FAULTS in his technique"! He laughed and laughed at my little joke! Sadly, I lost out on the bidding for the Pumpkin House!! To Pet Harkness!! She used a pseudonym!…"Kitty Walensky"…or… "Pussy Gabor"…. and then she moved into it with Ibrahim!!… (selfish little bitch!)...

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