MEDICAL UPDATE:....Along with the terrible news about ebola becoming an international crisis, the A.M.A. has also announced the outbreak of the dreaded "Foot Penis Syndrome" originating apparently in Saugatuck, Michigan. The first symptoms are itching in the area, gradually becoming a full blown case of athlete's foot, and eventually evolving into the final anatomical deformity. The only consolations in the disease are that it is relatively painless provided one wears a loafer or fleece-lined slipper, and that the syndrome is of course confined only to men, and, "gifted" ones at that. As of now, it is considered irreversible. Do not confuse this malady with the very different "Penis Foot Syndrome". 

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