…. Bobsy and Caroline had always been notoriously attractive kitties, even from birth. And, unusual for siblings, they had always gotten along quite well with each other which was a source of great comfort to their parents!…(well, to their Mother! Their father, Ragged-Ear Randy, was a knock-about ne’er-do-well always getting into fights in alleyways or yowling drunken and impolite songs in the middle of the night. He was always absent and served as no fine example of citizenship or responsibility to his children, of which he was rumored to have dozens scattered far and near! Perhaps that’s where Bobsy and Caroline got all of their hooliganism from…. And eventually their criminal behavior. That’s why people in the town of Tuscumbia, Alabama were devastated on that lovely Summer morning when they played their first really terrible prank! It was on the eighth birthday of a little local girl, that they decided to upset the party that was being thrown for the guests and the birthday-girl by tripping her during the dance that had been arranged…. They had cut down some clothesline in a neighboring yard, trampled all the clean linens and bedsheets in the mud nearby, and then stretched the line across part of the family’s lawn. It was at that point that little Helen Keller, who had just learned the hand-signals for words like “nihilism”, “dowdy”, “bad touches”, and “Cashews can kill me” fell flat on her face, much to the horror of her family and guests. The crowd immediately picked up knives, forks, and various farm implements to chase the kitties off the property and to register complaints with the police and the local Society For The Prevention Of Cruelty to Blind Persons by Ungrateful Household Pets. Bobsy and Caroline were apprehended an hour later with their father in a local bar of ill-repute called the Pooosy-Galore Bar & Grill. They were dining on Mrs. Paul Fish Sticks which they were eating with their paws (can you imagine?!?!) when the police burst in…. the three were led away in collars and leashes, still impudent and proud….Bobsy even brushed things off a neighboring table as he passed and looked the other way....yawning! The three were sentenced to 70 hours of community service, which they never showed up for anyway!….. And Helen?.... Although she achieved international fame and adulation for her deep wisdom and amazing accomplishments in later life, she never was able to master the hand signals for “fur”, “purring”, or “nice kitty”…..
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