SybilSez...

Sybil Bruncheon has been performing on stage, radio, TV, film, and in various Vaudeville, burlesque, church basement, county fair, and sideshow....uh..."venues" for most of her 29 years. She is available for bookings for just about anything and can be reached at bruncheon@hotmail.com and on her website sybilbruncheon.com. She is a proud member of the Actors Equity Association and the Screen Actors Guild. Her erdo number is 16.

Hello, Trick or Treaters! Did you know that in times gone by, many people like Mommy and Daddy had to do jobs that were very hard?... sometimes very dangerous?... sometimes even STINKY?... well they did! They did bad jobs because they loved their own very little children, just like you. Even when they made their children work in scary factories with sharp points... or in dark mines with stones that might fall down!!....for 18 hours a day! One job that no one liked even though it was in your own house was cleaning out the chimney. When people burn fires, chimneys sort of get sore throats, and we have to clean them out so the house doesn't get sick!...just like a human being! A house can get sick too!...except when a house gets sick, the nice people who live inside can go to sleep forever... or the house can explode into a million pieces and kill all the other houses down the street! When you get sick, you don't blow up and kill your little sister, do you? Well, a house CAN! So Mommies will sometimes ask their daughters to help clean out the chimney before anything bad happens!

The girls get brooms and brushes and long sticks and take off all their clothes so they don't ruin them and climb up inside the chimney very carefully. They make sure there isn't a fire going... or even any cinders in the ashes! Why would they want to toast their little tootsies?? Then they poke and climb and brush and scrub and cough and yell bad words at each other...and finally, the chimney is as "clean as a whistle"! Do you know what that means? "Clean as a whistle"?... I don't either. But when they've got it perfectly clean, their loving mother pulls the big wheelbarrow away from the hearth where she pushed it to keep the girls up there working and lets them come back down to take a bath in the backyard for two hours or so before they go to the village dance, or to milk a goat... They use very hot water, wire brushes, scratchy weeds, sand, tree bark...and even rocks...

And sometimes, they don't bother to wash at all!... At Halloween time, they just dance around a campfire they start at a neighbor's house while they sing songs that have bad words in them. The naked ladies make drinks with frogs and bats in them, and that makes them sing louder and fall down... and maybe bark at the moon, or at Mr. Carruthers who has the binoculars!!... Now cleaning a chimney sounds like fun, doesn't it??

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