BREAKING NEWS from the CNN news desk!... The NRA and its supporters in Congress are inviting the public to a special holiday event in the home of their beloved Charlton Heston! For the nominal fee of $900 per ticket you too can have the pleasure of an evening of merry-making, tale-telling, hunting lore, exotic cocktails, and gourmet snacks made from freshly killed zoo animals! Seminars will include "Furs in Fashion", "Fishing With Hand Grenades", and "Taxidermy for Fun 'n' Forever!".... and the whole she-BANG will take place on Heston's estate including in his famous "I'M LOADED Game Room"...(please! NO smoking!...there's too much gunpowder lying around!) Want tickets? Just dial C-O-L D-E-D H-A-N-Z. That's right, dial 265-333-4260. The nice man will tell you how to order!
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