Sybil Bruncheon's "Aren't Folks Funny?"... Miss Mitzi and Her "Friend"...

Mitzi and her friend.jpg

A neighbor yelled, “There’s Mitzi! She’s got something on a leash!

Is that a cat, so round and black? And look! How hairy! Jeeesh!”.

Another cried, “You’re wrong! Dead WRONG! It clearly is a dog!

Some freakish breed from far-off lands, or just a damn hedge-hog!”.

Miss Myrtle Mae claimed, “It’s a wolf whose glands have run amok!”.

Then Sally-Ann said, “You’re a fool! It’s a wingless, no-billed duck!”.

Reverend Peek let out a gasp and crossed himself and swore,

“That beast is from the Bible. It’s Babylon’s curséd Whore!”.

Each person saw and made a guess at what the creature was;

A guinea pig, a stoat, a rat, a rolling piece of fuzz?

A marmoset, a caracal, a goblin shark, a sloth!

A praying mantis, spider crab, maybe a poodle moth?

A pangolin, a scotoplane, a kiwa hirasuta! 

An Italian alto passing by said “Whatever! Eeet’s so cuta!”.

Folks stumbled up to point and stare and claim they knew the truth;

“It’s a starnosed saber-tooth ocelot without its saber tooth!”.

The fervor climbed to fever-pitch, a stampede then did ensue.

Hollywood was notified. And Selznick sent a crew.

Each day that passed the numbers grew to wait in frenzied state.

As Mitzi with her little friend would stroll behind the gate.

And then one day, Miss Mitzi said, “The time has come, it’s clear.

I must address this panic that has filled their hearts with fear!

They point and scream and tear their clothes! They swear and bite their thumbs.

They push themselves against the wall and crush my favorite mums!!”.

So one bright morn, she made a plan to leave the gate ajar.

And as the crowds assembled, she beckoned them near and far.

“Come in, come in!”, she called to all. “It’s a day so very fine!

I’m just so thrilled to have you here! Meet my daughter, Clementine!”  

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