ASK YOURSELF!

Ask1) Does your hemline ride so high that it invites wolf-whistles not just on the sidewalk, but at children’s birthday parties… and funerals?
2) Have you placed slits on your skirt to hint that there’s more than meets the eye… and that you’re eager to show exactly what that is?
3) Do you wear patterned stockings in lurid colors and textures…or perhaps no stockings at all?
4) Do you wear sunglasses in provocative shapes… even on rainy days… or at night?... or indoors, perhaps in a basement playroom… or in a closet with the door closed?
5) Do you wear dresses cut in suggestive silhouettes and in loud colors or broad stripes to conceal that you’re not wearing sensible and modest undergarments? And pockets! Are they really working pockets… or decoy ones with the bottoms cut out to allow for “free-feels” by blind-dates? or customers?

If you’ve answered “yes” to one or more of these questions, then Gentlemen, it’s time for you to repent. Please report immediately to Reverend Pete Penobscott’s Prayerful Pokey and Rehabilitation Academy. In just 8 short weeks, you can rid yourself of sinful silliness and the distractions of fashion foolishness; two terrible temptations that can invite the Unholy Trickster into your life! Call today for your booklet and all the info. Just dial I-M-A-F-L-O-U-N-C-Y! That’s right. Dial 462-356-8629. The nice man will tell you how to order!

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