Sybil's "30 DAYS OF THANKSGIVING!".... a new recipe!

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"Oh look! There's a recipe on the back for Poodle-With-Capers!... that'll be tasty for Thanksgiving!"....

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Sybil Bruncheon's "30 DAYS OF THANKSGIVING!".... Butt OUT!

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"I'm warning you, Blackie!...one more sniff and the turkey won't be the only thing that's stuffed full of breadcrumbs and vodka!"....

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Sybil's "30 DAYS OF THANKSGIVING!".... open wide!

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".... (oh, please God, let the habanero sauce kill her... and not just wound her!!! Please, God... oh, please!!!")......

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Sybil Bruncheon's "30 DAYS OF THANKSGIVING!".... take a sniff!

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"Isn't that sweet? Prince Matchabelli sent over their new fragrance.. Eau de Turkey Avec Canneberges!....This oughtta get Steve nibblin' around!"

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Sybil's "30 DAYS OF THANKSGIVING!"......YUM!!

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"Yes, Mrs. Baker was over earlier looking for little Danny! I said we hadn't seen him!... Drumstick..or thigh?"

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Sybil Bruncheon's "30 DAYS OF THANKSGIVING!"...... Turkey Time!

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"Frank Perdue says the pop-up thermometer tells us when it's ready...and MINE JUST POPPED! Guess where it is!!!"....

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Sybil Bruncheon's "31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN!".... Oh, behave!!

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Facebook Friends! Have you noticed the gradual degradation of traditional American values like "courtesy", "polite public behavior", and "respect for elders"? Do your children chew with their mouths open giving you a time-study of how food breaks down during the process?... (that is if MOST of the food even remains in their mouths!) Do you know a youngster who holds his fork like a shovel or a scooper, or perhaps in an even more Byzantine manner involving BOTH hands and a Medici or Borgia? Does your daughter carefully wipe her mouth with a linen napkin and then ever so precisely actually drape it over the gravy and leftovers on her plate? Have you seen a gang of third-graders stand over an older person and laugh after they've pulled a chair out from under him at an open-air wedding/human sacrifice? Well, now's the time to draw the line! You can get some much needed help, and right away too! The longer you wait, the more permanent this coarse vileness becomes until.... well, dare I say it?...you have raised a LOUT! Yes!! A LOUT!!! Call this number today and get our free kit and a ten-ticket "intervention" pack! Your little miscreant, or Ms. Creant, will be taken in the middle of the night (with much kicking and screaming and NO explanations!) to a remote island of stones, thorns, and rabid squirrels to learn the niceties of public life.... or else! And you'll receive our set of books, handcuffs, barbed wire, and a cattle prod to reinforce all that new education your little darling has absorbed when he or she is returned to you on some roadside in a canvas sack!....And of course, if all else fails, you've got that ten-pack of tickets that just requires a quick little phone call again...and AWAY THEY GO!!...for TWO WEEKS. Enroll now! Just dial MY-KID-STINX!... that's right call 695-437-8469. The nice man will tell you how to order!!

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Sybil Bruncheon's "31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN!".... I wanna hold yore hand!!

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“Dee vortune ees rred as sooch: dee tumb ees dee ruler ob dee hahnd! Eet vairs dee crown and commands all dee odders! Eben zo, it ees lahrge like dee moon at night and moves freely like dee moon ahnd cahn change eets shape with funny bends!

Dee eendex pinger..or Meester Pointer! Dee Pointer ees like dee north starr aroun wheech all hahnd ahctions are deerected und guided. He points the vay, shows dee toughts ob dee hooman mind, and eben pokes in the eye…or peeks dee nose.

Da meedle pinger, dee tallest ob dee five, ees the highest point een dee hahnd-sky, and zo ees represented by dee sohn at dee nooon. Eef a mahn makes you trubble, geeb heem dee meedle-pinger und say “Hab a sohnny day, sheet-hole!”.

Da rrring pinger ees dee one ob dee marri-ahge. Eet represent dee belobb-ed and dee human-hart! Boht eet also ees the pinger ob de drink…dee empty bohtle. Bevare dat your lob-life duz noht becomb a life ob dee booze!....ha! ha! ha!

And pinally, vee cohm to dee pinkie pinger! Eet shows dat you hab lohst yore key, und slept on dee street. De wreest says you see clearly dat you wair a mess last night ind maybe poo-pood yore uundie, and dee palm says dat you now smell like dee bad feesh!..Wash yore hahnd!! That will be $7.00.”….

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