The Glass Is Half-----??????

A well-known proverb states that an OPTIMIST would say a glass is half full, while a PESSIMIST would say it is half empty. ...but what would people of different professions and walks of life say?

The BANKER would say that the glass has just under 50% of its net worth in liquid assets.
The GOVERNMENT would say that the glass is fuller than if the opposition party were in power.
The OPPOSITION would say that it is irrelevant because the present administration has changed the way such volume statistics are collected.
The ECONOMIST would say that, in real terms, the glass is 25% fuller than at the same time last year.
The PHILOSOPHER would say that, if the glass were in the forest and no one was there to see it, would it be half of anything?
The PSYCHIATRIST would ask, "What did your mother say about the glass?"
The PHYSICIST would say that the volume of this cylinder is divided into two equal parts: one a colorless, odorless liquid; the other a colorless, odorless gas. Thus, the cylinder is neither full nor empty. Rather, each half of the cylinder is full, one with a gas, one with a liquid.
The SEASONED DRINKER would say that the glass doesn't have enough ice in it.

....and do you know what MUMMIE would say??.... "This glass is NOT the fine stemware we serve our guests! Take it BACK to the pantry and bring out the champagne flutes! Now, GO!! GO!!

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