Citizens, according to the Federal Department of Domestic Terrorism, we are now at a "Code Hollyberry RED Alert".... various Christmas elves (individually and in groups!) have been spotted ringing people's doorbells, coming down chimneys, and climbing out of toilet bowls to surprise and dismay innocent citizens during this otherwise cheery Holiday season! Although they are genuine and even licensed elves from Santa's workshop, their personal habits and degenerating behavior have thrown them into the orbit of undesirable "Elf Sub-Groups".... Sadly, it has been revealed that no wall could possibly keep them all out! Please look closely at these photos and notify authorities and police persons immediately if you spot any of them. They should be approached with extreme caution and plates of Keebler cookies... According to the CDC, many of them may be rabid or even ill-mannered. Thank you.
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