Sybil Bruncheon's "Joan Crawford Birthday Festival!"...

Joan Crawford (872) Large.jpg

SYBIL BRUNCHEON’S "Hollywood Fact or Fiction!"… Joan Crawford Fans!! .....Here's an excerpt from the new, shocking, and unauthorized biography of Joan Crawford by Mavis McGurk titled "SHE SWALLOWED EVERYTHING!" (Houghton Mifflin);

“...and with that, the brakes suddenly went out on Miss Crawford's 1931 Packard convertible, and the accelerator mysteriously pressed to the floor! The car lurched forward at 80 mph and careened through the railing high over Benedict Canyon..... there was a long, terrible scream of inconsolable grief and shimmering rage as the vehicle exploded in bright flames rolling and bouncing down the mountainside to the unforgiving embrace of the jagged boulders below.... A strange silence ensued, interrupted finally by the crackling of flames and the snapping and popping of gaskets, rubber, and twigs as they burned... or melted. And then, a terrible grating as the growing heat made the car’s chassis begin to twist and twitch. A smashed door slowly rocked open......and with that, the terrifying Joan-thing began to claw and scratch its way back up the rocky crag.... caked with dirt and covered in broken glass, with wreckage of the car wedged into open wounds. But its strength and resolve were implacable.... with every inch and handful of tossed-aside clay, the creature, whatever it was, climbed closer and closer to the promontory from which it had plunged just minutes before! …And even more terrifying to relate, the filth and damage done to it seemed to melt away, bit by bit, as it climbed, until finally "Joan Crawford", THE Joan Crawford that Hollywood knew and loved (or feared!) climbed back through the shattered railing as fresh, dewy, and hopeful as she had been in 1925 when she had first arrived in that terrible town of dreams and betrayal. The glorious blue eyes fluttered down to the flaming wreckage, and smiled innocently …or victoriously.... and she began her stroll back down the winding highway of life to new adventures and.......horror.

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]