Sybil Bruncheon's "Let's All Meet The Neighbors!"…. Mr. Honus O'Yuckers...

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Mr. Honus O'Yuckers of Sunnybrite, Maine saved a little money from his weekly paycheck as one of three mail carriers in Sunnybrite. He wanted to invest it checking his ancestry with a local service that claimed they could trace anyone's family tree back for at least 25 generations. Honus was quite sure he not only had Irish ancestors, but might actually have come from an ancient family of Leprechauns associated with Gaelic kings and warriors. In his interview, he reported his natural attraction to the color green, his peculiar talent at finding four-leaf clovers in open fields, and his ability to drink several pints of Guinness and stay completely on key during three choruses of "My Wild Irish Rose". Locals began to take notice of Honus and his claims especially when the Bangor Times, the Portlandia, and the Augusta Eagle all carried cover stories on him, his pointy shoes and corn-cob pipe, and the pot of gold coins he produced on St. Patrick's Day for the "Kiss Me, I'm Irish" Parade that embarked from Chawantakuck Falls and petered out by the time it reached Ogunquit. The press and the crowds all wanted to see his pot of gold and perhaps even touch it, but O'Yuckers was adamant. It wasn't until the temperature rose to the high 70s that someone noticed that his "gold coins" were actually left over Hannukah geldt from December, and that the chocolate was oozing out of the tin foil. Too bad, Honus, but you still have that merry twinkle in your eye!