Jackie-Ann was very excited to be flying to New York City from her home in Nevada. The airline was highly recommended though NOT one she had heard of on television commercials or seen in the ladies' magazines at the beauty parlor. Still, her cousin Rita had booked the entire trip through the travel agency she worked at, and Jackie-Ann didn't want to seem ungrateful. "Ingratitude for kindnesses is very impolite and the blesséd Savior hates discourtesy... and burns it in Holy Fire!" is what her Aunt Francina had always taught her in Sunday School. And then she would light a piece of paper in an ashtray and say, "Look little children! That is a soul that is going to HELL!"... (Jackie-Ann would comfort the children who might start crying, and tell them that even though her Aunt Francina might sound mad, she was actually very nice and made delicious oatmeal cookies.)
Anyway, Jackie-Ann boarded the flight and sat next to a salesman named Fritz from Las Vegas who said he sold ladies' clothes for special occasions, like if they danced onstage and liked to kick their legs up, or even put them behind their heads. Jackie-Ann said she had never seen that kind of dance before, and Fritz said he'd like to show her sometime. Then he ordered champagne from the nice stewardess who seemed to be a friend of his because she kept calling him "Fritzy". The stewardess' name was Bambi-Lynn, and she poured herself a glass of champagne too and winked at them and said "For LATER!". She and Fritz giggled.
After a while, it was time for dinner to be served. Jackie-Ann noticed a couple of things. First of all, the inside of the plane seemed to be rather chilly. She didn't mind so much because she was wearing a charming bouclée suit in purple that she had made in sewing class in high school a few years back. But when Bambi-Lynn came back down the aisle, she was wearing a wool poncho with an attached hood and gloves! Not ladies' gloves! SKIING gloves! And Bambi-Lynn wasn't pushing a beautiful cart with all sorts of fancy dinner items on it like roast beef, pork chops, and Mignonettes d'Agneau Avec Groseilles à Maquereau et Œufs de Caille, hot rolls, steaming vegetables, and glorious desserts. Instead, Bambi-Lynn set up a "TV tray" that was slightly bent and rocked a little, and put plates of rolled up cold-cuts and cheeses, and said "Help yourself, Folks! I'll bring some mayo and mustard! Do you like Wonder Bread?". She also had a tray full of Ritz crackers that she had put peanut butter and olives on, or sardines and grape jelly... or Marshmallow Fluff and Raisinettes. Bambi-Lynn said the Marshmallow Fluff ones were her "favorites" because Raisinettes are actually "French". She even pronounced them as "Rayson-ays". Fritz seemed very impressed and said, "Isn't Bambi-Lynn a pisser?".
Jackie-Ann had never been outside of Nevada and was very concerned that she might not seem sophisticated or fancy to the people she might meet on her travels, but she began to suspect that maybe Bambi-Lynn and Fritz weren't all that fancy themselves. Nevertheless, she remembered her Aunt Francina, and Sunday school, and the burning paper, and she thought that good manners meant that she should laugh along with Fritz and Bambi-Lynn when they said jokes and winked. She hoped that it would make the flight be more fun even if it was freezing cold, the food tasted stale, and the TV tray finally fell over when Fritz got drunk and tried to sit on it so he could be in front of her when he explained about the strange leg-dancing. Jackie-Lynn kept being polite even with mustard and olive loaf on her skirt.
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