....from Sybil Bruncheon's "EASTER EGGS-traordinaries"... Wauseon, Ohio...
/Breaking News! TREE EATS BENCH! ...with the warmer weather, well... Sadly, Mrs. Veronica Cromandley did not get out of the way in time... sitting here for the last 17 years after her husband Cyrus passed away, she made a point of feeding the pigeons stale cookie crumbs from her artisanal bakery The Purdy Little Pie Palace. Apparently, she dozed off some time last month, and the old Yankee elm on the corner of Jasper Avenue and Swankton Blvd. slowly consumed the bench, Mrs. Cromandley, her crumbs, and her new lunch bonnet from Lilly Daché!....and it was in the new very stylish "Bonjour Printemps" shade that Paris is raving about. When called to the scene, police and groundskeepers found a bit of netting and some feathers next to a stained Lilly Daché label. No remains were recovered. The family has requested that in lieu of flowers, people donate money and/or Parker House rolls to the Audubon Society.
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