Sybil Bruncheon’s “Hollywood’s OTHER Side”… alternative plots for classic films!

Yes, this movie still does look like it’s from the gentle drama OUR VINES HAVE TENDER GRAPES (1945) starring Edward G. Robinson, Agnes Moorehead, Margaret O’Brien, and a host of lovable character actors and actresses from the MGM studio stable… It’s a bucolic, charming, and heartwarming tale told from a little girl’s point of view about a Wisconsin farm and Norwegian immigrants… sort of like I REMEMBER MAMA but with cows instead of San Francisco fog…

But did you know that the original story, still set in the 1940s and Wisconsin, was very, very different from what MGM finally settled on? The title was originally OUR VINES HAVE POISON TENDRILS, and it concerned the dangerous secret world of 3rd grade, Nazi sympathizers, barnyard sabotage, and the use of farm animals as German spies and saboteurs infiltrating the heartland, specifically in the dairy industry. Consequently, little Nell Gustafson (Margaret O’Brien in a chilling and very convincing performance) heads a herd of formerly gentle cows and sheep and turns them into brainwashed fascist-terrorists and assassins. Dressed as Little Bo Peep for a school play titled “Our Fairy-Tale Friends”, she turns Flossie, her favorite lamb, into a flame-throwing storm-trooper who incinerates a brownie and cookie stand at the 4H Jamboree. Pies, cakes, and strudels are horribly destroyed while children dressed as a corn cob, an asparagus, a ham, and other objects of American farm abundance run shrieking in terror! O’Brien’s little Nell points and laughs from the gun-turret of her panzer-tank constructed from Tinker Toys, Lincoln Logs, and an old Soap Box Derby chassis.

Later, her parents, played by Robinson and Moorhead, are devastated as Nell pledges allegiance to the New World Order during a spelling bee where the competition words include “schnitzel”, “sauerkraut”,  “dachshund”, and “gesundheit”. Needless to say, only her recruited Nazi-pals can spell the words correctly. Her former “best girlfriend” little Becky-Marie Granger is unable in the third round to correctly spell “doppelgänger”, and is dragged to the swing set and summarily shot… without a blindfold…

The film ends with Nell in charge of the local Girl Scouts chapter and being addressed as Fräulein Hiawatha during the annual Our Indian Heritage Festival… needless to say, there are no Native Americans in sight. “The End” projected on the final screen is followed by a giant question mark.

The test audiences were horrified by the implications; sales of American cheese plummeted, and several Good Humor ice cream trucks were attacked and set on fire in suburban neighborhoods. The MGM board immediately reshot and re-edited the entire film… another case of  “Hollywood’s OTHER Side”…

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