Sybil Bruncheon's HOLLYWOOD HULLA-BALLOO!... Coming soon!... a BETTY BOOP movie!!
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Yes, folks and fans of the irrepressible Boop-Boop-Be-Doop Girl, a film devoted totally to Betty is in the works at the studios!... the problem is which studio will release theirs first!... and WHAT will it be about? Some of the proposals are listed below;
1) MGM is proposing a lavish blockbusting musical where Betty, a sweet, young, misunderstood girl from Poka-Ma-Hola, Iowa, is under attack by Shawnee Indians in her shabby but immaculate farmhouse when a tornado carries her off to a land of midgets, witches, and yodeling giraffes. Dancing vegetables and an overly friendly banana add mischief and merriment... followed by an uplifting message of redemption and family values as the music swells at the final fadeout. (Possible casting choices include Burt Lahr as Koko the Clown, and Linda Hunt as a "little person".)
2) Warner is finished with a script where Betty, caught behind enemy lines, smuggles Jewish, Bulgarian, and carny-show orphans out of a vaudeville academy to safety somewhere in the USA, possibly Poka-Ma-Hola, Nebraska. Disguising them all as merry midgets in her own touring musical review, she happens to run into her former great-love-that-got-away who is now the resentful-but-successful impresario of a dinner theatre in Bundt-kaka, Hungary. Their romance is swiftly rekindled, and he moves Heaven and Earth to get Betty and 316 orphans out of the country disguised as a giant millipede during a county fair 4H Club jamboree. Mischief, merriment, and machine gun fire ensue... followed by an uplifting message of redemption and family values as the music swells at the final fadeout. (Possible casting choices include the Mormon Tabernacle choir as the orphans.)
3) Universal Pictures is about to start filming a terrifying horror film where Betty Boop is transformed through exposure to atomic radiation, sound-waves from a distant planet, and defective Valentine's chocolates into a snarling, drooling, Medusa-creature!!... right in front of the Girl Scout troop she den-mothers for in a place called Poka-Ma-Hola, Indiana! Needless to say, the young girls are terrified, especially when she eats three or four of them, sashes and all. Crowds of torch-bearing villagers, mobs of pitchfork-waving farmers, and a smallish gang of circus-jugglers hurling spoiled vegetables manage to chase Betty to the haunted castle on the hill where a formerly insane mad-scientist has, through prayer and bathing in llama-milk, become a kindly old yoga-instructor. He cures Betty of her monstrousness, and the crowds of enraged citizens are won over to mercy and forgiveness... fortunately, the girls that Betty killed and ate were orphans and therefore not missed by any family members... the end is an uplifting message of redemption and family values as the music swells at the final fadeout. (Possible casting choices include John Carradine and all his sons as dancing skeletons.)
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