Sybil's "STRANGE TAILS!.... FROM BEYOND!!"..... Tinky...

.....Tinky had always been fond of his humans, (well, as fond as cats ever are about the staff that maintains the house and provides food on command!) but then came the weekend when one of their relatives brought the guitar-thing. Tinky was shocked at all the shouted stories about kaftans, and love beads, and sandals, and folk music, or whatever that barking was that each of them did as they cradled the guitar-thing in its hands. They took out funny sticks made of weeds or stuff they they found on the lawn and set them on fire and put them in their mouths! "That's a stupid snack!" Tinky thought! "Why not find a mouse, or kill a sparrow? You're big fat idiots!" ...and the house started smelling like the burning leaf piles in the Fall, and the humans began eating lots of stuff and drinking water. Then the humans got louder, and some even had water come out of their eyes while they showed their teeth in what had been described to him by neighbor-cats as a "smile". Some of the humans then made the yarns on the front of the funny-hole make noises which sounded like meowing....or growling. Tinky rather liked that, and he sort of danced around his living room while the humans made their laughing/barking sounds and pointed at him. Like most cats, Tinky was quite pleased that he had an audience, but of course, he would have danced around whether they watched or not. "Cats are uninterested in admiration from fools!!!", he huffed to himself, and did a clever little side-step followed by a caprice!... Then the evening took a terrible turn! One of the humans who was plucking the yarns very loudly began to yowl! THAT'S RIGHT! YOU HEARD CORRECTLY!!! YOWL!!!...and then all the other humans joined in and YOWLED at the top of their lungs!! "Dear God!" Tinky thought. "They all sound like cats burning to death!! ...and doing it at the SAME TIME!" They swayed and clapped their hairless paws and began dancing around in his space!! ....and as Tinky scampered off to hide under his sofa while they hoo-hawed, and clod-pranced, and yee-hahed, and paw-clapped, and boo-hooed, and acted like dogs, Tinky remembered stories about humans who had been dressed in love beads and kaftans and sandals who had come into a house and KILLED other people!...It was a long time ago, but kitties liked to tell each other stories of bad stuff sometimes ...and snicker. Dogs always told each other stories about chasing round things and licking human faces and eating off the floor and rolling in dirt...and cats would saunter by and tell them they were idiots. Even big dogs would usually shut the Hell up...or even run off. Cowards and louts! But kitties would tell darker stories with strange punchlines or morals at the end...and everyone would nod their heads and blink slowly. Big glowing eyes by candle light. And Tinky sat watching and thinking about the human family that had been very bad to other humans. He watched the yowl-dancing-banging-crashing-laughing-barking-drinking-stupids. Why can't the bad-family come here and do bad things in here? ....and make it quiet...and leave out some nice food for me? He blinked slowly ....and licked one of his handsome paws...with the razors hidden....for now.....

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