Friends!!!.... do you have a cat in your household which you, regretfully, consider more likely to be naughty than nice during the Holiday season? It has come to our attention that many felines disguise themselves on Christmas Eve, in anticipation of Santa's arrival in the home.... their reasons include seeing presents before the rest of the household (and perhaps even tearing them open!), bargaining or haggling with Santa about the quantity and type of gifts being left to them, and (most egregious of all!) demanding additional paper bags, cardboard boxes, and wrapping material to be tossed and littered about before morning, resulting in owners tripping, falling down stairs, or even burning to death in fires... often set by the naughty kitties themselves with matches and expensive brandy....It's best that you face these unfortunate possibilities now before it's too late. The signs are obvious. Does your cat pretend to be an edible Christmas treat giving itself a powdered sugar facial, strategically placed "sprinkles", or a head-to-toe mayo and mustard shmear with optional pickle? Has your kitty ever decided to become a furnishing of some sort; a purring throw pillow, a curtain tie-back, or a table lamp with a perpetually blown-out light bulb? Does your cat try to change its shape...and pour itself into various things that bend it into a cube, a sphere, a cone, or a tetrahedron? Does your cat pretend to be suddenly blind thinking that a blind person's glasses means that OTHER people can't see the CAT!? (yes...stupid, we know!) If you feel any of these animal-anomalies may be present in your home, it's best to act! If not for your sake or your family's... then for Santa's sake. Dear God, for Santa's sake!! Our booklet and special tools can save Christmas...for everyone! Pick up your phone and dial K-R-A Z-Y P-U-R-R-S-N... that's right, dial 572-097-8777. ...and leave the last "N" off for "NICE"! The "NICE" man will tell you how to order.
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