Hey, Folks! Are you getting strange FB friend requests from people who have NO friends in common with you?...I'm NOT just talking about the ones from foreign places whose names are exotic and hard to pronounce. I actually PREFER more non-traditional people and places. I'm talking about their FB pages listing all sorts of odd hobbies, food preferences, police records, and personal-hygiene interests. Here are a few that I just HAD to refuse...politely, of course, because, after all, I AM Sybil Bruncheon!...
1) Hymen Cooper - lives in Bangor, ME. Collects lint, hairbrush refuse, dust-bunnies, and used gum. Practices ventriloquism with vegetables at his fresh produce stand. Is a rare Aries-born-on-the-cusp-of-Libra....very rare!
2) Mustafa Jones - ex-smoker/pyromaniac. Collects Joan of Arc memorabilia. Likes melted Reese’s Peanut Butter cups…
3) Phil Phillips - cactus gardener who specializes in pure-vegan acupuncture. "I guarantee smoother skin and massive weight-loss for anyone visiting my all-nude rock-garden!...especially in the middle of the night!"
4) đười ươi điên - friendly and deeply spiritual Presbyterian/Hoosier by way of Ho Chi Minh City. "I like basketball, popcorn, and planning a really bang-up Revelations welcome for the return of the Messiah! Party-ON!!!"
5) Kay Branson - plus-size lady-taxidermist specializing in beetles and the high-end jewelry they can be made into for older Jewish ladies in Boca Raton..."MY HOMETOWN!"
6) Yenid Glanque - cafeteria worker in the Myrtle Township Elementary School for Mildly Gifted Children. "Adept at perfectly portioned servings of mass-produced side dishes using a standard ladle and my remaining eye."
7) Pete Thwistle - Gas station attendant providing HANDS-ON service! "None o'that behind the glass booth sh*t. I come out and wipe yer shield, check yer oil 'n' water, kick yer tires, and pinch yer bottom if you get out to stretch yer legs.... oh, and I'll say hi to yer lady-friend too!"...
8) Malcolm "Pinky" Perkins - filatelist/fellatelist with talented tongue and NO gag-reflex! Loves getting into sticky situations with like-minded Christian couples. Still dreaming of finding a mint-unused Javanese upside down biplane 3 cent!..or a Treskilling Yellow stamp (1855).
9) Piszkálni A. Fenékben - former pastry chef in a llama petting zoo. Soon to be laid off for causing near-fatal diabetes in luxury-wool-producing mammals by the Peruvian government. Currently on the run, but will check in occasionally for AirBnBeaners... "HELP! I make great donuts!"
10) Lincoln Steffers - snake-handler and faith-healer. Has own tent and heating pad. Lives in Central Park near the boat house! Romantic weekends a GUARANTEE!
[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]