From Sybil Bruncheon's "Hysterical Histories...The Doomed Celeste"...

Halloween Haunted Celeste Contortionist Collage (704F).jpg

One of many owners who owned and now haunt this unfortunate little celeste (often mistaken for a piano!): Born Placenta O'Grady she later took on the stage name of LICKETY-SPLITZ as a drag-performer/contortionist. She could play Mozart forwards and backwards… with her feet! BEHIND HER EARS! She performed mostly in mining towns along the West Virginia/Pennsylvania border with a very friendly rhesus monkey which accompanied her on the ukulele. On various occasions the monkey (named Mr. Wonky) would be dressed as Joan of Arc, Florence Nightingale, or Eleanor Roosevelt, depending on political proclivities of the local audiences. Simultaneously, O’Grady could juggle various oblong vegetables shaped like foreign countries...or Presidents of the United States. Coincidentally, she had fairly lovely skin. She lost her life when a jealous lover folded her into a three penny envelope and mailed her to Niagara Falls. Her restless ghost insists on playing the Queen of the Night's aria from THE MAGIC FLUTE.. "Der Hölle Rache!!!!!"...

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