Sybil Bruncheon's "Tales & Tails"... SOON!

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Pixie, a formerly friendly kitty who lived at 2242 Maple Grove Blvd. suddenly began having strange notions. Talking to herself, hiding cheap costume jewelry but leaving expensive items in place, eating vegetables but rejecting sardines and even caviar, trying on hats, lip sticks, etc., etc. Everyone noticed, but hoped it was all a passing phase...something that was quite innocent! It wasn't until that awful night in late November, when Pixie had taken down a cleaver from the cupboard and hid in the sheers in the parlor waiting for kindly old Matilda the housekeeper to meander by... and then the screams, the terrible screams.... the carnage!.... and then all the reporters prying, prying, prying into the crime, the photographers and the flashbulbs...and the scandal.... the shame of I.F.M.!!! (Inherited Feline Madness!!!). Look!!! There in the curtains!!! Behind you!! IT’S PIXIE!!!!! …oh God, NO!!! Pixie!.. NO!!!…

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Sybil Bruncheon's "Hollywood's Hysterical History"...

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THE OLD DARK HOUSE (1932)... starring an intimate cast (by 1930s Hollywood standards!) of Boris Karloff, Melvyn Douglas, Gloria Stuart, Charles Laughton, Raymond Massey, and the always fascinating Ernest ("Gods and Monsters!") Thesiger!...and directed by James Whale… (as flamboyant as ever!)

The title just about says it all, doesn't it? A weird and weirdly funny movie from the pre-code era, that sets a black & white horror mood rather brilliantly. Merrily macabre in so many ways, I often wonder how many takes some scenes took just because the cast broke out laughing especially with the extraordinary James Whale larking about behind the camera with Thesiger flouncing around in front of it! A Must-See, if you haven’t already!! Enjoy!!...

 …oh!... and did I ever tell you about the sequel? YES!! James asked me to star in it along with the reassembled Dark House cast! It was to be called QUEERISH CASTLE (1933 or so). James was getting more and more defiant of Hollywood’s closeted attitude about LGBTQ issues, so he decided to rub the big studios’ noses in it! No longer satisfied with only calling the lead character “Horace Femm”, the residents of Queerish Castle were to be Humpmey Bogart, Beulah Bondage, Finger Rogers, Poosile Ball, Orson Smells, Spencer Lacey, Lesbie Ann Warren, Julie Man-Drews, Clit Walker, Vulvian Vance, and Peener Youstinoff. The castle, though terrifying and full of dead bodies, trap doors, and secret passages, was also to be a fabulous dance hall/speak-easy with Vaudeville acts, including drag performance-knife throwers, transvestite-trapeze artists, contortionist-fortune tellers of indeterminate gender, and dog-and-cat ventriloquism! I was going to play “The Insatiable & Inscrewtable Vaj-eena”, a gypsy fortune teller who uses tea leaves and oblong vegetables to determine the unsuspecting guests’ futures… Misfortune and Merriment ensues!... or so we hoped. The Hays Committee shut us down for “Gross Indecency!... and oblong vegetables!” JEEEESH!!!!

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Sybil Bruncheon’s 31 Days of Halloween!!!... Just out of reach!

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Friends! Be Honest! Are you one of those people who raids your children's Trick-or-Treat bags when they come home after Halloween? Perhaps you sneak candy out in the middle of the night claiming it was the "Tooth Fairy", "Santa Claus"... or "Jimmy Hoffa".... Or are you one of those folks at the office who raids the candy bowl and takes all the Snickers bars... or the Baby Ruths?... Well, did you know that now you can join "Bon Bons Anonymous"... a non-profit and highly compassionate organization that curbs the desperate and uncontrolled desire for commercial an d individually wrapped sweets! You and others like you will be...um...guided away from temptation with counseling, encouragement, spiritual exercises, and other modern "methods" to keep you on the righteous path to physical and emotional salvation… and with special “aversion equipment”. But wait! YOU have to take the first step! That is, if you WANT to get well... ...Call our offices today! Just dial S-T-I-K-Y F-I-N-G-A...!! That's right, dial 784-593-4642.... The nice man will tell you how to order!

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Sybil Bruncheon's 31 Days of Halloween... and tonight on BRAVO...

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THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF SALEM… Tonight on BRAVO’S hit series, host Andy Cohen interviews the girls about their latest dramas:

Pinchetta confronts Yustachia about the fender-bender she suffered on her new broom and claims that the brakes had been tampered with, possibly through a demonic spell.

Floozelda reveals what triggered her upending the table at Cackleton’s Café during the Ouija Board party and dumping everyone’s eye-of-newt soufflé in their laps! It appears she didn’t divorce her fourth husband… he was the hors d’oeuvres during the appetizer course.

Evillene tells everyone she’s just found out that she is pregnant and the ultra-sound reveals a healthy two-headed baby boy-thing. She will be giving up smoking her corn-cob pipe so as to minimize the risk of birth defects… or gender-confusion..

Grotesquella has decided to sell all her shares in Potions Consolidated, her skincare company, because the SEC is investigating her offshore involvement in a Transylvanian blood transfusion monopoly. She reveals that her beauty secret was no more than powdering with Gold Medal flour and doing her make-up with laundry markers.

Serpentina crosses wands with the Gloomdell twins over their sabotaging of her crystal ball concession at the International Sorceress Convention in Plymouth. Apparently they replaced her fine rock crystal ball with a snow globe filled with Crisco Oil and alka-seltzers.

 Windenina is confronted by Pompalia for handing out bizarre treats on Halloween night including marshmallow peeps shaped like llama poops and M&Ms flavored with ink. Last year she handed out three Ritz crackers to each child claiming they represented the Father, the Son, and Casper the Friendly Ghost.

 Rosamunda tells everyone that her bath soaps are selling surprisingly well… not because they lather very much but because they are shaped like oblong vegetables. The rest of the girls ask if she realizes that children could hurt themselves with them, and she decides to create a “child-size” collection… so “they can really learn to appreciate oblong vegetables when they grow up”.

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Sybil Bruncheon's 31 Days of Halloween!... October 29th, 2012… Lights OUT!!!

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October 29th, 2012... After closing up our little place at the beach for the Winter, I had taken the last ferry out of Cherry Grove on Fire Island to Sayville, Long Island and rushed back to the NYC as Hurricane Sandy bore down on the Northeast. We lived on West 10th and Washington Street down in Greenwich Village with "a view of the world"!... all the way from the West 50s to the Chrysler and Empire State buildings, across to the Con Ed building on the far East side and down to Chinatown, Little Italy, and around to the World Trade Center and New Jersey... a view that you might have in a helicopter or if you were a billionaire! I had just gotten back to the city and stood at our windows watching as the storm got stronger and more turbulent with non-stop lightning and thunder... and then, suddenly there was a blue-purple flash of the Con Ed plant over on the East River... and the stunning, stunning march of blackness as it crushed each neighborhood, block by block, from the East River towards the Hudson. I stood there amazed to see the entire southern part of Manhattan go dark, from the Empire State building down to the financial district, a few buildings of which remained lit on their own emergency power generators. As the dark hit our block, we lit candles, and hurriedly filled pots, pans, and the bath tub with water!... water that quickly began to fail as the pressure slowly gave way.

In the following days, restaurants and stores began giving away their food and perishables. We were so lucky to have had our friend Barbara Grecki house us for the following week up on Central Park West and W. 66th Street. And although Halloween was completely canceled, I had actually packed my "Headless Fairy-Princess" costume for the occasion. Golly, that Central Park crowd gives fabulous candy!!... yes, they can be so stuck-up, but you can't argue with Teuscher champagne truffles in your plastic pumpkin, can you?? JEEEESH!

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Sybil Bruncheon's 31 Days of Halloween!... October 29, 2011... Frost on the Punkin'

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October 29th, 2011… This was the Halloween show we were producing with the fabulous ladies of the Red Ribbon Foundation up in Greenwich, Connecticut! ....A Costume Ball and contest, an elaborately catered banquet, prizes, dancing, a whole evening of incredible fun that took months of planning MONTHS!!...and, well, do you remember what happened??? A freak blizzard hit the entire North East! An ice storm that clung to all the leaves that hadn't even begun to fall off the trees.... and so right after I arrived in Greenwich with my co-host and costume designer Gefil Tefish and went to the venue to get ready, we listened as trees began crashing in the woods all around us mixed with the thunder and lightning from the "thunder-flurries" that rumbled all night long. Jim Cantore and the Weather Channel cast were apoplectic! The headlines reported power outages that ended up lasting for weeks afterwards in many areas. Thousands of trees were brought down, oftentimes right into people's homes and businesses. And of course, Halloween was basically canceled in the affected areas.

That night the entire committee and the volunteers divided up all the prepared (and sumptuously catered!) food, and we all retired to the chairwoman's beautiful home and had our own impromptu Halloween party with games, ghost stories, and bobbing for apples... or was it Harry Winston brooches? The old saying in show business is that "The Show MUST Go On!"... well, here's the poster for the only event in all my years that never took place!...an odd and wonderful piece of memorabilia in my collection. (ps. Interestingly, exactly one year later, Halloween was canceled again! Hurricane Sandy blacked out NYC and much of the metropolitan area! JEEESH!!)

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Sybil Bruncheon's 31 Days of Halloween... Manners Are Nice #15...

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Boys and Girls, if you're invited over to a friend's house for Halloween refreshments, always remember to hold your saucer in one hand while you drink from your cup held in the other. It will prevent drips that might soil fine upholstery or a nice table doily or a lady's dress. And of course, never drink from your hand... or slurp... or um... lick a plate... or... whatever...

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Sybil Bruncheon's 31 Days of Halloween!...

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"I hate to complain to Management, but I distinctly asked Mr. Murray here for Autumn Auburn!... NOT October Ochre!"...

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Sybil Bruncheon's 31 Days of Halloween!...

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Detroit has announced a special re-issue of the famously infamous Ford EDSEL... complete with evil-spirit-automatic transmission and power-of-Satan steering... guaranteed at 20,000 miles to burst into flames with massive loss of life! Convertible models available. "Inferno Red" with black interiors only option.

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