Sybil Bruncheon’s 31 Days of Halloween!!!... Just out of reach!

Friends! Be Honest! Are you one of those people who raids your children's Trick-or-Treat bags when they come home after Halloween? Perhaps you sneak candy out in the middle of the night claiming it was the "Tooth Fairy", "Santa Claus"... or "Jimmy Hoffa".... Or are you one of those folks at the office who raids the candy bowl and takes all the Snickers bars... or the Baby Ruths?... Well, did you know that now you can join "Bon Bons Anonymous"... a non-profit and highly compassionate organization that curbs the desperate and uncontrolled desire for commercial an d individually wrapped sweets! You and others like you will be...um...guided away from temptation with counseling, encouragement, spiritual exercises, and other modern "methods" to keep you on the righteous path to physical and emotional salvation… and with special “aversion equipment”. But wait! YOU have to take the first step! That is, if you WANT to get well... ...Call our offices today! Just dial S-T-I-K-Y F-I-N-G-A...!! That's right, dial 784-593-4642.... The nice man will tell you how to order!

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Sybil Bruncheon's 31 Days of Halloween... and tonight on BRAVO...

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF SALEM… Tonight on BRAVO’S hit series, host Andy Cohen interviews the girls about their latest dramas:

Pinchetta confronts Yustachia about the fender-bender she suffered on her new broom and claims that the brakes had been tampered with, possibly through a demonic spell.

Floozelda reveals what triggered her upending the table at Cackleton’s Café during the Ouija Board party and dumping everyone’s eye-of-newt soufflé in their laps! It appears she didn’t divorce her fourth husband… he was the hors d’oeuvres during the appetizer course.

Evillene tells everyone she’s just found out that she is pregnant and the ultra-sound reveals a healthy two-headed baby boy-thing. She will be giving up smoking her corn-cob pipe so as to minimize the risk of birth defects… or gender-confusion..

Grotesquella has decided to sell all her shares in Potions Consolidated, her skincare company, because the SEC is investigating her offshore involvement in a Transylvanian blood transfusion monopoly. She reveals that her beauty secret was no more than powdering with Gold Medal flour and doing her make-up with laundry markers.

Serpentina crosses wands with the Gloomdell twins over their sabotaging of her crystal ball concession at the International Sorceress Convention in Plymouth. Apparently they replaced her fine rock crystal ball with a snow globe filled with Crisco Oil and alka-seltzers.

 Windenina is confronted by Pompalia for handing out bizarre treats on Halloween night including marshmallow peeps shaped like llama poops and M&Ms flavored with ink. Last year she handed out three Ritz crackers to each child claiming they represented the Father, the Son, and Casper the Friendly Ghost.

 Rosamunda tells everyone that her bath soaps are selling surprisingly well… not because they lather very much but because they are shaped like oblong vegetables. The rest of the girls ask if she realizes that children could hurt themselves with them, and she decides to create a “child-size” collection… so “they can really learn to appreciate oblong vegetables when they grow up”.

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Sybil Bruncheon's "31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN!"... at Kringlestein's!...

I want to thank my pal Tommy Thomas for digging up this old photo of me.... I was only about 4 and back then parents were always dragging their children off to professional photo studios in major cities to commemorate birthdays, holidays, etc. Imagine how much fun it was to be photographed down on Broadway and 14th Street right down the block from Luchow's where we'd just had lunch. I sat on the little box for Mr. Kringlestein at the Kringlestein & Kampfer Rotogravure and Fine Photographic Arts Studio. He'd told me to sit very still while he slid each glass plate into the camera and exposed them to the light from under his hood..... I was perfect at holding each pose while my parents shouted encouragement and the servants brought ice cream and treats... and then, when we were all finished!... Imagine nice old Mr. Kringlestein's surprise when I just flew right out the window!!... apparently it took 20 minutes to bring him back to life, and my father had to pay him off to keep his mouth shut... although after 20 minutes in full cardiac arrest, he was never really intelligible again... 

… good times ...ah, good times…

(postscript: For those of you wondering what my identical twin sister Dagmar was doing during this photo session, she had made her own costume earlier in the day. She had decided she wanted to be a goat. Enough said. Right?)

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