Sybil Bruncheon's "True Tales Of Tinsel Town":

Jane Fonda, of course, won the Oscar for playing Bree Daniels, a call-girl trying to be an actress in the mystery/thriller KLUTE (1971). Set in NYC it was directed by the great Alan J. Pakula... I, on the other hand, was offered the low-budget slapstick sequel called KLUTTERMAN (1973)... set in Boca Raton and directed by Moe Howard… yes, that Moe Howard, of Three Stooges fame. I was cast as Bris Danielovich... a female rabbi with a fabulous recipe for calamari... Confusion and merriment ensues!!

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Sybil's "Rosh Hashanah Mishaps of Yesteryear"... Episode 3 …

...I'm reminded of the time that my charming neighbors Ednetta Davis and her devoted daughter Rachel decided to prepare a quiet Rosh Hashanah dinner for just themselves in their studio apartment in Far Rockaway! They carefully made all the arrangements; the special scented candles, the "Golden Delicious" apples, the special lavender honey, pomegranates, cous-cous with seven vegetables, challah bread, gefilte fish, matzo ball soup, brisket and roast chicken, potato kugel, tzimmes complete with sweet potatoes, and dates and honey cakes for dessert. And of course, an assortment of elegant wines for each course!

Oh, they had spared no expense for their little feast, and on their limited income too, but Rachel didn't want to make her elderly mother feel guilty for all the extravagance. The dinner cost her two week's salary as a substitute art teacher at the elementary school down the street. It was all going so well, until Ednetta decided to hold the dinner in the kitchen until Elijah arrived to fill the empty chair. Rachel tried gently to explain to her sweet but addled mother that Elijah is waited for on Passover, not Rosh Hashanah... and that it's just a tradition, but that he never actually comes to the table. At that point, Ednetta became very agitated and began yelling Elijah's name out their window overlooking the corner of Mott Avenue and Gateway Blvd. Her escalating screaming attracted a crowd and finally the police who had to intervene and take her to Bezalel Hospital for observation.

Poor Rachel. She blew out all the candles, turned off the oven, and left the dinner completely untouched. She didn't have the heart to remind her mother that they were actually Presbyterians... Oh well, I wish all of you a L'shana Tovah!

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Sybil Bruncheon's "Joan Crawford Birthday Festival!"...

“It’s a movie about a terribly glamorous actress who gives up stardom to become the world’s first Lady-Mohel in a circumcision parlor in Pocatello, Idaho… It’s called THE BOMBSHELL AND THE BRIS! Whattya think??”…

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Happy Hanukkah!... and a nice little friend to celebrate it with!...

Hello, Friends! I want to wish you all a very Happy Hanukkah! ....You know, folks, the Coca Cola people marketed Santa Claus starting in 1931 during the height of the Depression.... but who was around to celebrate the wonderful festival of Hanukkah?..."The Festival Of Lights"!..... eventually, some nice people in Hollywood thought up a charming character to match Santa! .....the outfit I'm wearing in this photo is the famous folk costume of "Gilda The Gelt-Girl" who comes around to nice Jewish households during Hanukkah; NOT down the chimney (for Heaven's sake!) where she could get filthy and maybe tear something! NO! She comes through an unlocked sliding glass door on the lanai or through an attached garage, etc.

On the first night, she looks for good girls and boys and leaves them delicious GELT or envelopes of cash that they can put towards a nice nose job or a convertible! And for bad children she leaves GUILT, (which isn't very effective with this new entitled generation of kids, is it?!) Please don't ever leave her plates of cookies like you do for Santa! She's watching her waistline!...but she has been known to "lift" a lovely little tchotchke off a side table or from Grandma's purse....so clean up any clutter you don't want pawed through! By the way, that's her magical "Gelt Pocket" on her apron where she keeps her chocolate treats, and she's carrying her enchanted "Oy Veys Mirror" through which she can see all the good and bad little children! (Those bastards at Romper Room stole her "magic-mirror" idea back in the 1950s, and she hasn't collected ONE DAMN CENT in royalties!)

And remember that at this Holiday season, Mummie loves you very much if you've been good.... (and ESPECIALLY if you've been very BAD!) Love and Xoxoxox, Sybil.

(ps. Don't worry!! Mummie's nice little Dreidel Dress is flame retardant! ...just in case I back into a menorah! I HAVE been known to do just that skulking around the house sometimes! ...and Santa and I have a big laugh too about what trouble we've gotten into rifling through people's stuff!)...

(Sybil’s dreidel dress was designed by Gefil Tefish at the Hefty Highness Hide-away)

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