Holiday Update: The Hector Smedley family.....

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Holiday Bulletins From Around The World!!!...... Cushkin Corners, Oklahoma. The locally famous Smedley family (Mr. Hector & Mrs. Gerardine) had been widely known from the day they first gave birth to their quadruplets back on April 5th, Easter Sunday in 1931. The Great Depression had wiped out both personal fortunes and any optimism from the populace for hundreds of miles, and yet, the near miracle of these four tiny babies being born in a dust bowl cabin and surviving had created a joyous surge of neighborliness and sharing. Country fairs, square dances, barn raisings, quilting bees, 4H festivals, and even "ice cream sociables" were instigated around their annual birthdays from the very first!

….The newspapers reported their first steps, their first words, and even as they got older, the public watched eagerly as they got their driver's licenses, went to their proms, and graduated from their Technical Schools, Beauty Colleges, and Animals Husbandry Academies.... it was only in their 20s that the interest in them began to wane. And that was when the facade began to crack.... jilted at the altar, or failed marriages, DWIs, bad fashion choices, shoplifting arrests, and forlorn Ponzi schemes involving cheap mascaras in local notions shops, all of these took their toll...and it showed. The long spiral downward was inexorable. Here they are at 23 years of age, clockwise from lower left.....Myrtle Mae, Clarenda, Needra, and Francie. (Francie's the one with the carotene disorder...and the...um...floppy ears..).

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Holiday Update: The truth about HARVEY!!!....

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Holiday Update! From the Police Gazette: Ronkonkoma, NY. It has been reported that the body of Mr. Elwood P. Dowd, who has been missing for three weeks, was found in a lettuce patch behind the home of a Mrs. Beatrice Poitier (possibly an alias!) on …

Holiday Update! From the Police Gazette: Ronkonkoma, NY. It has been reported that the body of Mr. Elwood P. Dowd, who has been missing for three weeks, was found in a lettuce patch behind the home of a Mrs. Beatrice Poitier (possibly an alias!) on the corner of Lapin Lane and Cadbury Blvd. Although badly decomposed, the corpse showed forensics experts that Mr. Dowd had died violently, probably by animal attack and that the body was partially consumed, possibly while still alive! Authorities and civilians alike are extremely alarmed at this level of brutality, especially at Holiday time, and curfews have been set up in every township with extra security stationed around farmers' markets, salad bars, and pregnancy test displays. Police are now zeroing in on one particular acquaintance of Mr. Dowd's, a Mr. Harvey S. Púka. Although a drinking companion of many years, Mr. Púka has been unable to be found in any of his known haunts for questioning by authorities. It is NOT supposed that he too is a victim of foul play since he has been seen late at night in his usual top hat and tails carousing with both local "doorway hostesses" and handsome chorus boys from the less reputable theatres of interpretive dance along Veterans Memorial Highway.... Mr. Púka can be spotted easily: 8' 9", salt and pepper especially at the temples and on his ears, and walks with a slight limp from a missing left foot. Use caution when approaching him. He has shown an unnatural predilection for children, and may have developed adult onset diabetes. He likes to chew aluminum foil, has a very serious allergy to Easter basket plastic grass, and travels with the infamous Marsh Mallow gang whom he calls his "peeps".... they are all armed and extremely dangerous.....especially the "chicks"... A waitress at a local IHOP reported overhearing thinly veiled threats from Púka to his henchmen about "making some trouble over at the White House".... the FBI is now on full alert.....Stand by for further announcements...

Holiday Update! From the Police Gazette: Ronkonkoma, NY. Mrs. Veta Louise Simmons, elderly sister to the newly-confirmed deceased Elwood P. Dowd, was recently overheard at the very exclusive Cafe Conejo threatening her only daughter Myrtle Mae Simmo…

Holiday Update! From the Police Gazette: Ronkonkoma, NY. Mrs. Veta Louise Simmons, elderly sister to the newly-confirmed deceased Elwood P. Dowd, was recently overheard at the very exclusive Cafe Conejo threatening her only daughter Myrtle Mae Simmons. The maitre'd reported the conversation as something like, "Now will you shut up?.... and if I tell you to lie, you'll do that too. I'm never going to suffer for you again! Not ever! Do you understand? .....now finish your rabbit enchilada!"..... Authorities now suspect that the death of Mr. Dowd, the disappearance of Harvey S. Púka, and the sudden wealth in the Simmons household may all be related to a much more elaborate and sinister scenario..... Mrs. Simmons has been seen sporting a new array of costume jewelry from the Trifari shop on Meadows Blvd. and a smart sweater set of angora from the Gefil Tefish Hefty-Highness Hide-Away in the Ladies Mile Shopping Center..... Stay tuned for further developments.

 

 

 

 

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.....doing a little math on Facebook!

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So I was doing my Facebook errands today as usual.... catching up on people's news; births, new puppies, job gossip, bulb selections for upcoming gardening, proposed recipes for tonight's dinners, elderly aunt's hip replacements...the usual. And I noticed that I was "liking" each announcement that I read and even commenting, congratulating and commiserating on many of them as I always do. And THEN I noticed that I never hear from some of these people....EVER! I support and cheerlead their political agenda du jour, their squabble du jour, their mellerdrammer du jour, and I get nothing. They're never interested in my delayed flight, my botched hotel reservation, my recipe for beef Bourguignon, my bulb selection, job gossip, hip replacement, buildings exploding, ocean liners hitting an iceberg, asteroids striking the Earth, NOTHING! N-O-T-H-I-N-G!!!!! ....no comments.... not even "likes" to let me know they even read anything about my life.

You know, when I was a child, sometimes the drama of "drama club" would get to me, and I would wander off to a blackboard and find solace in the solitude (and rationality!) of numbers. I'd start out doing square roots, and drift towards some trig or geometry.... playing (and "conversing") with numbers was so ....um... peaceful. Numbers could be counted on, literally. They could add, subtract, multiply and divide...they could do all sorts of acrobatics with calm and precise outcomes. Their tricks could be plotted and even predicted on graphs, forming interesting shapes and designs, surprising you, without betraying or ignoring you.

So here I was just doing some math... and my numbers told me that I don't have to work so hard in the playground. What a ridiculously simple lesson for someone as old as I am to be learning at this late stage... my numbers told me that I could start taking away some numbers...

So if you're reading this (some of you TOTALLY BY ACCIDENT!), you may (or may NOT!) notice that this will be the last time you hear from me... You might care. But probably NOT. And if you, by some fluke DID read this, and you recognize yourself in the description I gave above on my Facebook page, take Christina Drayton's advice, paraphrased here, "... Start your motor - carefully remove absolutely everything that might subsequently remind me that you had ever been here, and get - permanently - lost. It's not that I don't want to know you, although I don't. it's just that I'm afraid I'm not really the sort of person that you can afford to be associated with.... No. Don't speak! Just... go."

By the way, if you DON'T, don't worry, I'll be taking care of it for you... you can pick up your three day old donut and curdled coffee by the exit.

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Wednesday, February 12th, 2014.... The Roaring 20's!!!

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Folks, I just got back from Town Hall in the heart of the theatre district where Vince Giordano & The Nighthawks recreated the Paul Whiteman concert of George Gershwin's "Rhapsody In Blue" done 90 years ago tonight at Aeolian Hall. The Nighthawks are featured in the HBO series BOARDWALK EMPIRE providing the music of the infamous bootlegging days between 1919 and 1933. Aeolian Hall is long gone now, just as Steinway Hall will be torn down just a few blocks away to make room for another midtown tower.... but for a few hours tonight, 1920s jazz and all the glamour, humor, and intelligence sparkled brightly without a trace of 21st century banality or grime. Make a point of seeing the Nighthawks...they do weekly shows and post their dates and venues all the time. Here's their link! Sybil Sez!! http://vincegiordano.com/

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For HIM on Valentine's Day.....

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Hey there Ladies!! Looking for a handsome gift for that special fellow for Valentine's Day that says "class", "style", "tradition" and "romance"??... Take a look at these beautiful boutonnieres by Christopher Harrap of London. Made of handcrafted porcelain with either stainless steel or sterling silver clips that slip perfectly into a gentleman's lapel, they come in both glazed and unglazed white camellia and pink rose options. What a wonderful present for any other special occasion too... the clip can be engraved with a date and message for the lucky recipient!... and Ladies! Why can't a girl wear one in her own lapel. I DO!  http://www.boutonnierelondon.com/

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Happy Birthday to the Cullinan Diamond!… January 26th, 1905…

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Happy Birthday to the Cullinan Diamond.... the largest gem-quality diamond ever found, at 3106.75 carat (621.35 g, 1.37 lb) rough weight. About 10.5 cm (4.1 inches) long in its largest dimension, it was found on 26 January 1905, in the Premier No. 2 mine, near Pretoria, South Africa. 

In 1905 due to the immense value of the Cullinan, the authorities in charge of the transportation were posed with a huge potential security problem. Detectives from London were placed on a steamboat that was rumored to carry the stone, where a parcel was ceremoniously placed in the Captain's safe and guarded throughout the entire journey. However this was a diversionary tactic. The stone on that ship was a fake, meant to attract those who would be interested in stealing it. The actual diamond was sent to England in a plain box via parcel post, albeit registered.

It was cut into three large parts by Asscher Brothers of Amsterdam, and eventually into 9 large gem-quality stones and a number of smaller fragments. At the time, technology had not yet evolved to guarantee quality of the modern standard, and cutting the diamond was considered difficult and risky. To enable Asscher to cleave the diamond in one blow, an incision was made, half an inch deep. Then, a specifically designed knife was placed in the incision and the diamond was split in one heavy blow. The diamond split through a defective spot, which was shared in both halves of the diamond.

The story goes that when the diamond was split, the knife broke during the first attempt. "The tale is told of Joseph Asscher, the greatest cleaver of the day," wrote Matthew Hart in his book Diamond: A Journey to the Heart of an Obsession, "that when he prepared to cleave the largest diamond ever known, the 3,106 carats (621.2 g) Cullinan, he had a doctor and nurse standing by and when he finally struck the diamond and it broke perfectly in two, he fainted dead away." Lord Ian Balfour, in his book "Famous Diamonds" (2000), dispels the fainting story, stating it was more likely Joseph Asscher would have celebrated, opening a bottle of champagne.

The largest polished gem from the stone is named Cullinan I or the Great Star of Africa, and at 530.4 carats (106.08 g) was the largest polished diamond in the world until the 1985 discovery of the Golden Jubilee Diamond, 545.67 carats (109.134 g), also from the Premier Mine. Cullinan I is now mounted in the head of the Sceptre with the Cross. The second largest gem from the Cullinan stone, Cullinan II or the Second Star of Africa, at 317.4 carats (63.48 g), is the fourth largest polished diamond in the world. Both gems are in the Crown Jewels of the United Kingdom. The Cullinan was split and cut into 9 major stones and 96 smaller stones. Edward VII had the Cullinan I and Cullinan II set respectively into the Sceptre with the Cross and the Imperial State Crown, while the remainder of the seven larger stones and the 96 smaller brilliants remained in the possession of the Dutch diamond cutting firm of Messrs I. J. Asscher of Amsterdam who had split and cut the Cullinan, until the South African Government bought these stones and the High Commissioner of the Union of South Africa presented them to Queen Mary on 28 June 1910.

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