Sybil Bruncheon has been performing on stage, radio, TV, film, and in various Vaudeville, burlesque, church basement, county fair, and sideshow....uh..."venues" for most of her 29 years. She is available for bookings for just about anything and can be reached at bruncheon@hotmail.com and on her website sybilbruncheon.com. She is a proud member of the Actors Equity Association and the Screen Actors Guild. Her erdo number is 16.
Even twenty-six days before Halloween, little Abner liked to sneak into Mother's dressing room and try on different looks for his Fairy-Queen ensemble!..... he already had his magic wand..... and the ax....
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Gwenn hated Halloween. She hated when the local children would soap her windows and drape toilet paper all through her bushes! And she hated when they set bags of dog poop on fire on her front porch. She wondered why children preferred candy to the little prayer poems she dropped into their baskets. The ones she wrote in crayon on small pieces of cardboard with smiley faces on them. ........ "Now what would scare them this year when I answer the door???....I wonder...". Gwenn stood in front of her mirror...and she got a plan....
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Little Cyrus began to feel too grown up to go trick-or-treating with the other neighborhood children. Dressing up as a vampire, a werewolf, or a mummy were "kid's stuff" in his sober opinion. He told his mother that he would prefer to be a British sailor...... worried that even a fine sailor suit might still elicit screams of horror and panic in the streets, she suggested a nice ghost made out of an old sheet might be better..... Cyrus decided to stay home and spend the evening looking through his microscope slides.
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SATURDAY MORNING TV!!!! ...........Yes, boys and girls! Long before there were thousands of channels on cable, the internet, satellites and roof-top dishes or antennas, and pay-per-view, the very first TVs were very, VERY primitive. Before there were even TV boxes in the corner which were basically radios with small picture tubes that hissed and frizzled..... there was the "HUMAN TV"!!!..... Very wealthy families could afford to hire an actual person from the TV Store to come in for a prescheduled amount of time to "BE" the TV....doing a variety of shows for the entertainment of the viewers! Entire dinner parties and even charity galas would be planned around just such an event, and the very best and most talented HUMAN TVs would be able to perform a wide variety of programs....all spontaneously and at the drop of a hat! Soap operas, news broadcasts, situation comedies, medical dramas, gangster stories!!......And I will have to confess here and now, that when my career took a terrible blow from the Communist witch hunts and the HUAC trials, I TOO disguised myself and became a HUMAN TV. Yes, that's actually ME in my official HUMAN TV costume...I was able to perform in every genre, although my own particular specialties included talent contests with gongs and "applause-meters", missing person searches (usually unsuccessful!), rugby tournaments where I kicked my own shins and punched myself in the face, men's doubles Jai Alai matches in which I both partnered and also defeated myself, natural disasters with updated bulletins (fires and collapsing buildings were my specialty), stories about flying saucers with or without giant beetles, programs involving religious messages and even miracle cures, and nature programs with wild animals, safaris and stampedes (including appropriate sounds and smells!).... I was paid handsomely and often tipped extravagantly if I stayed after the parties and performed private....um.... "stag" programs for the gentlemen-viewers in their gaming rooms, although their cigar smoke would make me cough, and they would rush to change my "channels" with their rough manly hands. .....ah, good times... good times.
(Taken from Sybil Bruncheon's MOSTLY MERRY MEMOIRS, Chapter 17, "I Was A Human TV")
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Dateline Hollywood - 1953: Thursday last, a Miss Felicity Woodsman was apprehended by local police for vagrancy, pick pocketing, and precious metal fencing. While in custody at the women's house of detention, she claimed that she was the daughter of a famous celebrity, the late Abner Woodsman of Oz who only last year was fatally injured in a smelter during a scrap metal drive. A prison matron mocked her claims, and, driven to violent outbursts and attacks on her jailers, Miss Woodsman was turned over to medical authorities who prescribed electro-convulsive therapy to ease her delusions. It was at that exact moment with the apparatus attached to her head that the resemblance to her father was spotted. Joyous amazement and cries of recognition filled the ward as medical personnel poured into the room!!....Sadly, someone tripped over a wire, bumped a switch, and the Baum Brand Braniac Bombarder was triggered. By the time someone pulled the extension cord out of the socket behind the ice machine, Miss Woodsman was completely unconscious. She remained in a semi-coma for ten days....but when she awoke she miraculously was able to sing the complete works of Irving Berlin and Harold Arlen.... Conversely, she developed an irrational fear of bicycles, small dogs, and water. She went on to live on a strict diet of crullers...and died of incendiary hay fever at the age of 47.
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Most people don't realize that Halloween (like other big holidays) goes through extensive preproduction schedules. It takes months of casting calls, auditions, interviews, and then rehearsals to put together a fully realized Halloween that both entertains and terrifies the public. Here we have several cast members taking a well-deserved break backstage after special classes in "Facial Hair Growing & Simultaneous Growling", "Wooden Stake Driving", "Mirror Work While Casting No Reflection", "Garlic Aversion Therapy", "Attractive Stitchery For The Forehead and Wrists", "Coloratura Ghoul Yowling", "Hunchback Stoop & Foot Drag", and "Head-To-Toe Bandage Wrapping In Sandy Places". There are even special children's classes for the youngsters looking to make Halloween a lifetime career! All these cast members take their craft very seriously, especially with only 4 weeks left before the big day!!....and NIGHT!!! ...
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....It was extremely hard right after the Crash to raise children in the dust bowl areas of the prairie states stretching from Illinois straight through the wide plains of Kansas and Nebraska and off to the flat lands of the Colorado border... Texas and Oklahoma were particularly hard hit, and that's why on December 13th, 1935 it was considered both a blessing and a curse that twins were born to Cyrus and Vera Mil-Anne Krumphagen in a two room sod lean-to in Bland Precipice, Arkansas. Locals had traveled as far as 112 miles to see the twins who had been delivered amidst great whispering, rumors, and muffled shrieks by onlookers. Many witnesses who huddled nearby had fainted dead away, but their wives helped them to their feet and got them a lemonade and a smoke....or a chaw of tobacco. The scandal about the Krumphagen twins wasn't only that they were Siamese Twins (the state had seen its fair share of Siamese Twins in fairgrounds, carny shows, traveling circuses, and "burly-Q/educational shows" about Egyptian tombs, the harem of the Emperor of China, and agricultural matters in Akron, Ohio....no! Arkansas at one point was going to be nicknamed "The Twinner's State" by the legislature for all its Siamese Twin births in just under eleven years until it was discovered that it might have something to do with the water and the fact that many people were their own grandparents.) The chief point of the uproar, (which is what it became!) was that Enid, the older of the two twins was born way before her "younger" sister, Gladys.....significantly BEFORE!...... 9 YEARS BEFORE. Medical experts were rushed in (well, so to speak!) on the old Flaherty-Cumberbum Rail Lines that had nearly disappeared due to non-use. Professors, scientists, physicians, and phrenologists of high and low repute came to interview poor Vera Mil-Anne about her ongoing labor, which could not be rushed or terminated. The Krumphagens were Christian Scientists along with a cheerful mix of Seventh Day Adventists, Snake Handlers, Tongue Talkers, and Spencerite Wind Walkers. They practiced unusual traditions like wearing orange clothing during the Winter to keep them warm, eating vegetables shaped like other things or famous people, and observing only five days a week which meant that by May of every year, they were still living in February! (You can imagine the confusion after their junior high school wedding as the years went by!!) When little Gladys was finally born, Enid had already completed a typing and animal husbandry course through the local Farm-Arts Academy and had a varsity letter on both the Tractor Pull team and on the Pumpkin Toss brigade. She was quite the catch among the young swains (10 and 11 years old) at the Barnyard Sounds Cotillion & Ice Cream Sociable, and had to turn down five, count'em FIVE marriage proposals by an Explorer of Tomorrow, a Cub Scout, a 4H Club star, and a 63 year old man who was driving by. Nevertheless, Enid and little Gladys became very close right from the start....(well, they had no choice!) ...but that's how children of deprivation are. They don't have unnecessary pretensions and false airs like big-city girls from places like ...Laramoor...and Chutney Corners. And, as it turned out, their story and the sacrifices and torment that their charming and industrious mother had suffered gladly through her household chores and an extended stint as the head waitress at the Happy Spoon Diner became the subject of local papers...and finally radio broadcasts from Little Rock. Vera Mil-Anne became a spokeswoman for the Mohawk Muffin MIx company and was cast as Ma Gurney, a charming elderly lady who raised an orphan brood of children she found on the street, or in crates of cereal, as if they were all her own. The radio program got an astonishing "9" share forcing farm reports, grain futures, and prayer-for-rain broadcasts into non-prime time slots. And her twin daughters?? Enid and Gladys continued to grow and thrive (despite their age difference!) and refused seven different offers of surgery to separate themselves saying that they had worked too hard on their clog dancing technique, their pairs division ice-dancing, their tandem harmonic yodeling, and their Fred & Ginger imitation to ever be apart from each other. They eventually married; Enid to a veterinarian who specialized only in two-headed livestock or animals with multiple limbs and personalities, and Gladys to a man who was significantly younger than her who people kept mistaking for Enid's great, great, great, great, great, grandson.... No children came from either family. (with thanks to Bob Gutowski and George Sweet)
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Ranch-handress, Lasso-iatrix, cowpokee. Stunt double for Gabby Hayes. · 1952 to present
Is there too much angst and anguish in your life right now? Well, tune in every week to Sybil's live podcast "COME NOW, DON'T SULK!"... Mondays at 8pm EST. Just click on this link to hear any of the shows whenever you like on the Here Be Monsters Network
LISTEN HERE
George Brescia's New Book:
Check out all the great Sybil Bruncheon gifts and collectibles at Zazzle.com Perfect for Holiday gift-giving! Even to YOURSELF! Ten different designs available!! And they can be ordered on T-shirts and other merchandise! Click here:
Sybil Zazzles
Did you know that Mummie has a GoFundMe page for her stories to be published and also performed onstage? Well, here's the link:
Sybil's GoFundMe
Where to go?
GayBarMaps, that's where!! From Florida to Frisco! Key West to Kalamazoo! When you're traveling around the USA, you can find all the great LGBT bars, clubs, and restaurants at GayBarMaps. By the state, by the town!... just click in for a great time!!
GayBarMaps.com
The Lobster Pot Restaurant, Provincetown
Joe Zaso's CAFE HIMBO Cookbook II
