Tour-ette in Minneapolis... brrrrr!… 2/26/2019

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As Irving Berlin said, "Snow! Snow!! Snow!!! Snow!!!! SNOW!!!!"....

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Sybil's “TALES & TAILS”... Yazmeena's Sense of Style...

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.....Yazmeena had never liked cold weather. Yes, her fur, particularly luxurious and extremely well-groomed, was very warm, but she found that she was much more of a "temperate-weather" kitty!... so she spent a certain portion of her monthly allowance on sensible but stylish accessories. After all, why should she kick around like her idle acquaintances or those forlorn felines scurrying to and from their sad little jobs at the office?... no! Much better to have a sense of oneself, to insist on comfort..and always a measure of beauty.

... But this scarf.. and a cashmere toque?.. It looked like she was wearing a giant marshmallow!..something a human might put on a dog!! ...no... NO!... She must get back to the Mon Petite Chat 'n' Chapeau and to Mademoiselle Barrière, the nice saleslady that was so very attentive...she even scratched behind Yazmeena's ears when she was admiring herself in the counter mirror. Mlle. Barrière would make the right suggestion. Yazmeena yawned, stretched, and sidled down the boulevard, feigning disinterest, but her sparkling eyes and the dilating pupils... oh, she was very much interested! 

A beret! Yes, a beret, pulled down at a rakish angle... just barely clearing her left eye. Barrière would know just the right one... Yazmeena gave a little squeak of delight!... caught herself and looked quickly around to make sure no one had heard her, and then casually entered the shop rubbing up against the door frame as the nice man in the red uniform held the door for her... "Hiya, Pete!" she purred as she passed... and winked...

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Tonight on PBS... The American Experience...

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The dark underside of early public television and the challenges of live programming on a limited budget. Produced by Ken Burns, interviews include people involved in the Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood bestiality scandals with members of royalty, the bizarre Cookie Monster Murders cover-up in and around Sesame Street, and the shame of Julia Child's incurable bladder control problems, often during broadcasts. When asked what "incontinence" meant, her husband Paul said it meant that "Julia was born in Europe"...

This PBS program is made possible by the Muriel and Abner Gund Fund, the Poppin Fresh Charitable Trust, the Easy Bake Oven Scholarship Institute, and generous donations from viewers... like you... Thank YOU!

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Breaking News from the CNN News Desk... Disney World on Presidents Day:

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Tonight, shortly after the Disney World Hall of Presidents closed, it was revealed by custodial staff that the 43 previous chief executive robots broke free from their stanchions and descended on the figure of Donald Trump, tearing it to pieces. Before electricians and engineers could shut the entire facility down to prevent literally millions of dollars in damage, Andrew Jackson, James Monroe, and Millard Fillmore had confiscated the orange-haired head and were playing a round of skins & shirts pick-up with Calvin Coolidge, John Tyler, and Franklin Pierce. Apparently, the James Buchanan had torn down the velvet curtains and fashioned itself a very becoming cheerleader's skirt and sweater set, and made similar outfits for James Madison and Martin Van Buren (both a petite size 2) much to the delight of Dwight Eisenhower and Herbert Hoover who rocked with laughter. Bill McKinley and William Howard Taft offered to try to find snacks for everyone in the cafeteria, preferably hot dogs and popcorn... or lubricating oil. Details at 6. Gears and pulleys at 11.

(Click on the link to see the Presidents' presentation, and pay close attention how all the figures acknowledge and nod to each other as they're introduced, but how the Trump figure only acknowledges Lincoln with a wave of the hand... and no one else.) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkxOdzVbrrs

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“Sybil Bruncheon's My Merry Memoirs”… page 336… A Woman’s Home Is Her Castle… sort of.

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Back in the Winter of 1920, I (secretly) lived in the Belvedere Castle in Central Park during a really tough time financially… um… involving some unwise investments in asparagus futures and… oh… whatever. Anyway, after the asparagus market crashed, the alternative was to sleep in doorways and on park-benches (if the weather was nice enough) or in old wooden packing crates down by the loading docks when it wasn’t!). But that particular Winter, a packing crate wasn’t going to be quite enough… so I managed to sneak into beautiful Belvedere Castle when the lock on the front gate broke and no one got around to replacing it… (alright, I’ll admit; I had gotten pretty handy with a brick on a particularly frigid night!).

Anyway, during the day when strollers would wander by, I pretended to be a glamorous meteo-, a meteo-, a lady-weather-iatrix and to be taking "measurements". I’d purse my lips and shake my head worriedly over clipboards full of all sorts of maps and nonsense doodles... sort of like a cross between Jean Harlow and Jim Cantore. Most folks had never seen a woman weather-scientist back then, and I would point at the sky and say things like “bariatric pressure”, “thermos-dynamics”, “atmospheric conviction”, and “accumulo-nimble”, etc., etc. and they would ah and oooh, and ask for my autograph. I attracted larger and larger crowds of well-wishers, admirers, and gentleman-callers for all of January and February. Of course the park rangers got suspicious when I accidentally sat on my anemometer while eating a box of expensive chocolates and three-day-old celery from a vegetable stand. One of the cops wrote me up in his report saying I had an “anal-mometer” sticking out of my bloomers… JEEESH!

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AN OFFICIAL "POLAR BEAR CLUB" ANNOUNCEMENT...

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The internationally famous Coney Island Polar Bear Club is the oldest winter bathing organization in the United States. Their members go for an icy swim in the Atlantic Ocean at Coney Island every Sunday from November through April. This year, the Club announces a new variation on their weekly splashes with a special "Modesty Dip"! Participants must be appropriately wimpled, and must bring their own inflatable rosaries. Admission is free. Afterwards, dry crusts of bread and watery (semi-) hot chocolate will be served following a prayerful break on the shore… the monsignor has also warned that any shivering on dry-land afterwards will be considered a sign of spiritual weakness and a “compromise with the cold” and thus the temptation of Satan to perform his “unholy hootchie-kootch”!

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Sybil Bruncheon's Helpful ‘n' Hearty Household Hints for the Harried Housewife!... Rush! Rush!! RUSH!!!

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Girlfriends, do you find yourself running out of time between the office and the dinner table? Sure, who doesn't? Well, maybe, just maybe, Mummie can help you! We can't all afford the luxury to make elaborate French, Italian, or Uzbekistan gourmet meals during a day of creative semi-leisure like Martha Stewart and her billionaire gal-pals. But we CAN be clever with what our local grocer offers us and avoid calling in for a sad cardboard pizza from a corporate chain whose mascot is an UNstabbed Julius Caesar...

Here's what I'm doing tonight. I bought a pre-roasted chicken from my favorite grocery store. (I always choose the largest one!... perfect for reconfigured leftovers!!) I stuffed it full of lemon wedges, rubbed it with olive oil and butter, put it into my beloved All-Clad stock pot, surrounded it with huge chunks of parsnips, potatoes, onions, carrots, and celery, and poured a cup of chicken stock into the bottom. A bay leaf or two, and your choice of additional spices is optional. I'm putting it (covered!) into the oven for a couple of hours at 250. The lemon, vegetables, and stock will keep it all moist and actually bake the chicken to that fall-off-the-bone finish that I love. (The grocery always seems to undercook them, and I don't like chicken to be pink ANYWHERE!) By 7pm or so, it's done! I have done this after-work chicken-trick for ages, and it never fails! Bon appétit!!

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