HALLOWEEN UPDATE: Parseley Corners, Wisconsin. The local newspaper, The Parseley Corners Cockle-Doodle-Doo, announces the final closing of the "Middling Meadows Maison of Fairly Scary Sounds and Wax Dummies In Strange Poses". The funhouse was the only true tourist attraction in the vicinity of the town for 50 miles or so, and had never really lived up to its name or advertising. As a matter of fact, Madison Technical College had actually staged several medical seminars on chronic insomnia there, finding "The Dining Room of Terror", "The Screaming Salle de Bain", and "The Punishment Pantry" quite restful for its patients. Mrs. Rebecca Shuler, whose family has owned the property for 83 years, recently made a gift of the land, the main structure, and all the outbuildings, sheds, and equipment to the college. The aforementioned rooms will be turned into large "sleep wards" for insomnia sufferers, and the remaining areas of the main building will be converted into patient services and administration offices, research and examination laboratories, cheerful family visiting solariums, a spacious cafeteria, a bingo hall, bowling alley, billiards and ping pong salon, a small movie and poetry recital theatre, and a fully equipped steam, sauna, and bath spa. The wax figures, many of which are of iconic monsters or perpetrators and victims of infamous historical murders will be left as charming conversation pieces with little night-lights on them to prevent any unintentional "bumps-in-the-night".... The Landmarks Commission has requested that the exterior entryway remain completely intact, but perhaps with nice flower boxes and a small reflecting pool with trickle-fountain. Local residents may apply to volunteer for the plantings committee.
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