Sybil's "Holiday Notices From Around the.... um.. UNDER-world..."

NUNS Satanic Starbucks Cup (545B).jpg

....and so, the Little Sisters of Carefully Considered Caffeination after many years of charitable works and loving kindness to the community lost their way.... probably at the corner Starbucks. It all started on an "extra-bonus-points" Wednesday when they were offered the super-super-venti hot, (VERY HOT!) mocha-mint-caramel-nutmeg-chili-flakes-South-of-the-border-Mexicali frappuccino...with glitter-sprinkles and a sprig of holly....or possibly poison ivy.

...within hours, all the formerly innocent Sisters were caught making lewd comments during reruns of the Flying Nun, playing strip Old-Maid, and finally doing nude hula-hooping to Chubby Checker records. They were excommunicated shortly after drawing bare bosoms on 8x10 glossies of Deborah Kerr, Audrey Hepburn, and Rosalind Russell. To say that they ended up "going to Hell in a hand-basket" doesn't begin to describe the awful degeneracy and damnation that they descended to.... They disappeared into a giant hole in the ground at Coney Island amid raucous laughter, horrified shrieks, yowled hymns of indeterminate origin, and blaring horn-blowing and Demonic braying! Inexplicably, there was also a strong smell of sulfur, farts, and strawberry shortcake. They were never seen again.... but their Starbucks bonus points are still waiting to be cashed in... by the prayerful…

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