Hey, Facebook Friends! With all this talk of Christmas TV Specials at the Holiday season!...Did you see the recent TV Nostalgia Quiz here on Facebook? It had questions on the early days of TV starting in 1950!! Ok, so I got a perfect score!...and why not? I was a guest star on several of those shows until Joe McCarthy and the Red Scare got me blacklisted from show business for wearing a pink bouclé lunch suit to Roy Cohn's birthday party.... and to think that my own series "Bachelorette Alien From Another World" was replaced by "My Favorite Martian"…because Bill Bixby and Ray Walston were Republicans!... (bastards!).
Here are the roles I played on each one of those shows!!......
1) Twilight Zone: I played the nice toy store lady that sold the family the jumbo-sized tub of Silly Putty that ate them all after the last commercial break…
2) Roy Rogers: I played “Big Chief Throws Like a Girl” who won the Cowboys vs. Comanches softball finals in the 9th inning!....in the snow.
3) Bob Hope Show: I was cast as Bob Hope’s otolaryngologist for three seasons of head colds, until it was decided that his nose was finally “incurable”…
5) The Real McCoys: I was cast as Widow Brokoff who had a crush on Grandpappy Amos, but kicked him in the shin when he wouldn’t take me to “the ice cream sociable”…
6) The Untouchables: I was cast as mob boss “Francine Nitti”…. The twin sister of Frank, and much more deadly, especially when I riddled a backyard Christmas creche with machine gun fire, blowing holes through two shepherds, a camel, and a little drummer boy.
7) The Beverly Hillbillies: I was cast as Nancy Culp’s stunt double in a Nativity scene. Jethro ran over me ...with a goat!
8) The Lone Ranger: I reappeared as “Big Chief Throws Like a Girl”, but I had given up softball to become the wife of Tonto…. He changed his mind at the altar, and ran away again with the “Masked Avenger”!...... (Jeeesh!)
9) Leave It To Beaver: I was cast as Eddie Haskell’s mother decorating the Christmas tree with him, but she ends up in an asylum for “Parents Of The Criminally Insane” ….
10) The Three Stooges: I was cast as “Floribunda”, the only female stooge…..literally a “Stoogiatrix”… nobody cared.
11) Gilligan’s Island: I was cast as “Amelia Earhart”……. enough said….
12) I Dream Of Jeannie: I was cast as Bombazina, a belly-dancer with a raisin in her navel.
13) I Love Lucy: I was cast as Gretel, Ethel’s long lost identical twin visiting for the Holidays…. Fred pushed me down the back stairs, thinking I was Ethel….
14) Lost In Space: I played Bugreena, the green lady who falls in love with Zachary Smith… “Handsome, pretty handsome Dr. Smith!!”…..need I say that he turned out to be the biggest girl on the set?!?!
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