*Tour-ette on a freezing, rainy Monday after Easter Sunday... Where the Hell is Spring??? 4/18/2022

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Sybil Bruncheon's "An Earnest Prayer at the Holiday"…

Sybil drawing by Michael Margulies.

Oh, Lamb of Love! Oh, Prince of Infinite Wisdom and Unending Kindness… please find forgiveness in your Immeasurable Heart for me, an inveterate and unworthy sinner! I humbly make these requests that you patiently heal and cure me of my imperfections…

 1)   Please help me to resist haranguing willfully stupid people about their forlorn condition… specifically yelling, often in public places like cafés, sweet, little town squares, and make-up counters, that they are both stupid AND willful. Perhaps you could help me to only yell at them about being willful OR stupid, but never both at the same time.

2)   Please help me to be more open to the morons around me who reject 21st century learning and science. Perhaps they are right after all!... that the Earth is indeed flat, and that if we drive far enough in our pick-up trucks (the ones with the Confederate flag decals and the “I Like Beer” license plate) we will indeed fall off the edge!! Mightn’t they be correct? After all, how could or would God possibly make our planet a ball (of all shapes!) and then, more importantly need to figure out how to stick our feet all over it so we couldn’t fall off it? I mean, does he use invisible God-glue of some sort? How do people in Australia, and Tierra del Fuego, and the South Pole for Heaven’s sake?... How do they stay stuck to a ball? No, the flat-worlders in some way must be right, and why do I continue to try to convince them otherwise? Help me to stop. And don’t get me started on the Earth going around the Sun…

3)   Please help me to be more trusting of people who don’t believe that modern medicine can cure our ills. Why SHOULD we allow so-called doctors to stick needles into us? After all, how can anything that hurts actually be good for us? Why, it’s like we’re being turned into voo-doo dolls. And how do we know WHY they’re sticking us? What the Hell is IN those needles? And what’s all this talk about measles, tetanus, dip-dip-dip-whatever! And POLIO! I’ve never even KNOWN someone with polio! Maybe it’s not real, right?

4)   And lastly, oh, Lord, please help me to be as patient with the woefully mendacious, the assertively vile, the careless and cruel, the prideful and hubris-filled… even as you are patient with me. I thank you… and am infernally… er… eternally grateful!

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*Tour-ette from my back deck and some gardening ideas on Good Friday! 4/15/2022

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Sybil Bruncheon’s TALES & TAILS: Easter and Passover Stories of Yesteryear!…

In addition to Passover which celebrates the emancipation of the Israelites from slavery in ancient Egypt, there is also the lesser known agricultural holiday of Ослобађање од кокошињца од поо Поос (which is pronounced "Glurph zzjyjal-jadlylxxcvw" and which means "The Chicken Coop is free and clean"). This Holiday always falls on the first weekend in April and commemorates the liberation of all domesticated bird life from the tyranny of rabbits which was the norm for 19th century farm life both here and in Europe!..... Chickens, geese, ducks, and even swans in some places were used as slave labor, food sources, and cheap carnival entertainment by wealthy rabbits and their human collaborators.

Chickens especially were confined to glass boxes in sideshows and fed electronically only when they played well known songs on junky child-pianos often with only a few working keys and usually out of tune. Entire days of repeating "The Farmer In The Dell", "Frère Jacques", and "I Write The Songs" would eventually drive most hens insane or to suicide, and it was not unusual to see many chickens having to drag carts of their own eggs to market to be sold in road-side stands, dyed for Easter, thrown at Vaudeville shows, or scrambled in Greek diners!

Yes, my friends! This is Ослобађање од кокошињца од поо Поос!! The holiday when any self-respecting chicken may throw off the yolk of servitude....oops! The YOKE of servitude, and cry out, "Цоцка кретен!!"....

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