Sybil Bruncheon's THANKSGIVING BULLETINS FROM OUT AND ABOUT:

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Karen was one of those nice single ladies with no family so she always made Thanksgiving dinner for her friends, neighbors, and coworkers who didn't have any place to go! She called them all her "Turkey-Day Orphans", and they appreciated her so! ... then one year, she decided that it might be more fun to serve an all-liquid menu. An assortment of broths, consommés, gravies, and the booze that would compliment each course.... unfortunately, when the guests arrived at 1 in the afternoon, they found her unconscious under the dining table in nothing more than a pair of turkey-feather pasties, lipstick way outside her lip line, and a souvenir apron from Provincetown with a map of Cape Cod pointing suggestively to her ...um... "lady place"...

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Sybil Bruncheon's THANKSGIVING bulletins from around the country: Poor Carolyn...

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... she left the Brussels sprouts in the oven a little too long... and in that strange marinade too!... Julia Child had warned her in chapter 44 about "Thanksgiving DOs and DON'Ts", but NOooo!!!! ..girls like Carolyn always "know everything about everything!”… Sadly, the police arrived too late...

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