Sybil Bruncheon asks, “Christmas shopping??...”

Hey, Facebook Friends!! Still Christmas shopping?? ...and can't find just the right gift??.... how about the new Ronco, "Porta-Gas-Chamber"...for those last minute, on-the-spot executions in rural areas that are too hard to drive to..... "Now Mr. Cyanide can come to YOU!... and clean-up afterward is easy!!!"..... Just dial D-E-A-T-H P-E-N-A-L-T-Y..! That's right, dial 332-847-3625....and leave the last "TY" off for "Thank You"! ...the nice man will tell you how to order!

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Sybil Bruncheon’s “Christmas time!!! ..... the Hohenzollerns!”

.......oh yes! Everyone remembers the tragedy of the Romanov family being deposed from their thrones in Russia and executed in a basement, but how many historians talk about the royal Hohenzollerns of Eastern Rumelia?? Dating back for 700 years, they ruled placidly until 1903 when an uprising of Communists, Anarchists, Bee-Keepers, and Limerick reciters stormed their palace in the capitol of Plovdiv, and seized the royal family ...including the children! Their horrible fate??.... to be given the most forlorn Christmas presents that could be found anywhere in the kingdom and then to be forced to play with them until all family members had died of boredom.

This included early proto-types of board games like "Uncle Wiggly in Somno-Land", "Chinese Dumpling Checkers", and "Monotony" by the Parker Brothers. What was especially disturbing to the international community was the added cruelty of hideous neckties on the men depicting elves sledding down Poppa's tummy...and electrified "Holiday sweaters" with added ornamentation of the 8 not-so-tiny reindeer doing bad things with each other on the women.

The bodies of the royal family and their servants were found in a heap in a butler's pantry along with hundreds of unmailed "thank you" notes they had been forced to write in crayon (!) to imaginary gift givers in Ohio.... It was clear they had been fed nothing but fossilized fruit cakes, probably left over from the 19th century.... Horrible! HORRIBLE!! 

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Sybil Bruncheon’s “Christmas time!!! ..... Carole!”

....yes folks, it was that special Christmas when lovely Carole Lombard decided to ask Santa for a gun to fight those nasty Nazis! ....and that was the same Christmas when the Nazis shot her plane down.... you see, they didn't believe in Santa....

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Sybil Bruncheon’s “Christmas time!!!... Nancy!”

......Nancy was so excited in her new apartment! It was her first Christmas away from home! She had started her job as a bank teller in Tucson, and had promised herself that she would take no help from her family. She watched her budget and was very careful. And now three months later, she had just enough money for a sweet little Christmas tree, a few ornaments, and a nice doggie from the pound that she used as her sofa, two armchairs, a footstool, a vanity and dresser, mattress with two pillows, dining table with chair, and bath mat. .... and he only bit her once....

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