Sybil Bruncheon’s “Christmas Bulletins From Around The World!… the Complaint Department”...

"Yes, Debbie, this is the Compl--- uh--- the Post-Holiday Gift Review Department! How Can I help you?... uh huh... uh huh... um... yes, well--- oh, you DID look all around the whole tree--- ok, but I need to---- uh huh... well, Debbie, your Naughty-or-Nice file is right here in front of me... yes, I HAVE looked it over... well, you happen to have a perfect score! Yes, PERFECT. You are ranked as a perfect, Class A, 4 Star little bitch!... yes, we DO know you're only 8.... Hello?.... Hello?.....HELLOOO???? ...

… ok, Miss Ferguson?… connect me to our coal department. We need a truck to go to Miss Debbie Gregel's house in Perrysburg, Ohio... asap!"...

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Sybil Bruncheon’s “Christmas time!!! ..... the Hohenzollerns!”

.......oh yes! Everyone remembers the tragedy of the Romanov family being deposed from their thrones in Russia and executed in a basement, but how many historians talk about the royal Hohenzollerns of Eastern Rumelia?? Dating back for 700 years, they ruled placidly until 1903 when an uprising of Communists, Anarchists, Bee-Keepers, and Limerick reciters stormed their palace in the capitol of Plovdiv, and seized the royal family ...including the children! Their horrible fate??.... to be given the most forlorn Christmas presents that could be found anywhere in the kingdom and then to be forced to play with them until all family members had died of boredom.

This included early proto-types of board games like "Uncle Wiggly in Somno-Land", "Chinese Dumpling Checkers", and "Monotony" by the Parker Brothers. What was especially disturbing to the international community was the added cruelty of hideous neckties on the men depicting elves sledding down Poppa's tummy...and electrified "Holiday sweaters" with added ornamentation of the 8 not-so-tiny reindeer doing bad things with each other on the women.

The bodies of the royal family and their servants were found in a heap in a butler's pantry along with hundreds of unmailed "thank you" notes they had been forced to write in crayon (!) to imaginary gift givers in Ohio.... It was clear they had been fed nothing but fossilized fruit cakes, probably left over from the 19th century.... Horrible! HORRIBLE!! 

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Sybil Bruncheon’s “Christmas time!!! ..... Janet Leigh!”

...and so the studio executives told Hitchcock that making PSYCHO a Christmas special was out of the question!!!!.... he never forgave them!

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Sybil Bruncheon’s “Christmas time!!! .... the Grantbys!”

...after the flying saucer returned the Grantby family to their Iowa farmhouse, they never really understood the whole nature of Christmas trees or Christmas gifts ....or even food ever again.... although they could remember some of the words to "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer"..... 

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