Sybil Bruncheon's "My Merry Memoirs"... page 372... Briolette!

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...I had a parlor maid named Briolette.... a fascinating young lady! She was a ventriloquist who could also gargle, sing, and smoke a cigarette while she worked her dummy "Sebastian Cabbage"....who indeed WAS an actual cabbage!!!!... Sadly, she was born with no legs but instead had three arms, one of which ended in a FOOT… with extremely talented toes...

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Tour-ette in Minneapolis... brrrrr!… 2/26/2019

As Irving Berlin said, "Snow! Snow!! Snow!!! Snow!!!! SNOW!!!!"....

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Sybil's “TALES & TAILS”... Yazmeena's Sense of Style...

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.....Yazmeena had never liked cold weather. Yes, her fur, particularly luxurious and extremely well-groomed, was very warm, but she found that she was much more of a "temperate-weather" kitty!... so she spent a certain portion of her monthly allowance on sensible but stylish accessories. After all, why should she kick around like her idle acquaintances or those forlorn felines scurrying to and from their sad little jobs at the office?... no! Much better to have a sense of oneself, to insist on comfort..and always a measure of beauty.

... But this scarf.. and a cashmere toque?.. It looked like she was wearing a giant marshmallow!..something a human might put on a dog!! ...no... NO!... She must get back to the Mon Petite Chat 'n' Chapeau and to Mademoiselle Barrière, the nice saleslady that was so very attentive...she even scratched behind Yazmeena's ears when she was admiring herself in the counter mirror. Mlle. Barrière would make the right suggestion. Yazmeena yawned, stretched, and sidled down the boulevard, feigning disinterest, but her sparkling eyes and the dilating pupils... oh, she was very much interested! 

A beret! Yes, a beret, pulled down at a rakish angle... just barely clearing her left eye. Barrière would know just the right one... Yazmeena gave a little squeak of delight!... caught herself and looked quickly around to make sure no one had heard her, and then casually entered the shop rubbing up against the door frame as the nice man in the red uniform held the door for her... "Hiya, Pete!" she purred as she passed... and winked...

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Tonight on PBS... The American Experience...

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The dark underside of early public television and the challenges of live programming on a limited budget. Produced by Ken Burns, interviews include people involved in the Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood bestiality scandals with members of royalty, the bizarre Cooky Monster Murders cover-up in and around Sesame Street, and the shame of Julia Child's incurable bladder control problems, often during broadcasts. When asked what "incontinence" meant, her husband Paul said it meant that "Julia was born in Europe"...

This PBS program is made possible by the Muriel and Abner Ganf Fund, the Holmann Charitable Trust, the Easy Bake Oven Scholarship Institute, and generous donations from viewers... like you... Thank YOU!

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Breaking News from the CNN News Desk... Disney World on Presidents Day:

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Tonight, shortly after the Disney World Hall of Presidents closed, it was revealed by custodial staff that the 43 previous chief executive robots broke free from their stanchions and descended on the figure of Donald Trump, tearing it to pieces. Before electricians and engineers could shut the entire facility down to prevent literally millions of dollars in damage, Andrew Jackson, James Monroe, and Millard Fillmore had confiscated the orange-haired head and were playing a round of skins & shirts pick-up with Calvin Coolidge, John Tyler, and Franklin Pierce. Apparently, the James Buchanan had torn down the velvet curtains and fashioned itself a very becoming cheerleader's skirt and sweater set, and made similar outfits for James Madison and Martin Van Buren (both a petite size 2) much to the delight of Dwight Eisenhower and Herbert Hoover who rocked with laughter. Bill McKinley and William Howard Taft offered to try to find snacks for everyone in the cafeteria, preferably hot dogs and popcorn... or lubricating oil. Details at 6. Gears and pulleys at 11.

(Click on the link to see the Presidents' presentation, and pay close attention how all the figures acknowledge and nod to each other as they're introduced, but how the Trump figure only acknowledges Lincoln with a wave of the hand... and no one else.) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkxOdzVbrrs

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“Sybil Bruncheon's My Merry Memoirs”… page 336… A Woman’s Home Is Her Castle… sort of.

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Back in 1930, I (secretly) lived in the Belvedere Castle in Central Park for a really tough Winter after the stock market crashed.... During the day when strollers would wander by, I pretended to be a glamorous meteo-, a meteo-, a lady-weather-iatrix and to be taking "measurements". I’d purse my lips and shake my head over clipboards full of all sorts of barometric nonsense... sort of like a cross between Jean Harlow and Jim Cantore. Of course the park rangers got suspicious when I accidentally sat on my anemometer while eating a box of expensive chocolates and three-day-old celery from a vegetable stand.

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AN OFFICIAL "POLAR BEAR CLUB" ANNOUNCEMENT...

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The internationally famous Coney Island Polar Bear Club is the oldest winter bathing organization in the United States. Their members go for an icy swim in the Atlantic Ocean at Coney Island every Sunday from November through April. This year, the Club announces a new variation on their weekly splashes with a special "Modesty Dip"! Participants must be appropriately wimpled, and must bring their own inflatable rosaries... admission is free. Afterwards, dry crusts of bread and watery (semi-) hot chocolate will be served following a prayerful break on the shore… the monsignor has also warned that any shivering on dry-land afterwards will be considered a sign of spiritual weakness and a “compromise with the cold” and thus the temptation of Satan to perform his “unholy hootchie-kootch”!

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