Sybil Bruncheon's "Beauty Tips I Share With Friends!"...

Ladies! Are you like me and just hate the sticky feel, the odd smell, and the potential toxicity of current sunscreens and "SPF" products??? Well, now you too can enjoy the same cutting edge technology and stylish alternatives that Mummie and all her Hollywood friends do when they head off to St. Barts, Cap d'Antibes, Monte Carlo, or... um... Akron in July. The nice folks at Vinny's Venetians Veranda have created the perfect sun-bonnet for you from their... uh... "overstock and back-of-the-truck inventories". And guess what? Every one of their charming and protective items is made by prison inmates who are being "rehabilitated"...ON THE JOB!! Order yours today, and give a convict a break… so to speak!! Just dial B-E-H-I-N-D-B-A-R-S. That’s right; Dial 234-463-2277. The nice man will tell you how to order…(and where to send the cake with the file in it….)

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*Tour-ette from the wonderful lemonade stand in my own backyard! 7/11/2022

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Sybil Bruncheon's "My Merry Memoirs!"... the 1950s...

THE DEADLY MANTIS (1957)... on a personal note, I was cast in the sequel made in 1958 with Kenneth Tobey, Beverly Garland, Gloria Talbot, Faith Domergue, John Hoyt, and Narda Onyx... it was called THE DEADLY WO-MANTIS (1958)... I got to play the title character!... well, until the Marines dropped an A-Bomb on me while I was eating Toledo... JEEESH!

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Sybil Bruncheon’s “Hollywood’s Hysterical Histories!”…

Seen here is a rare photo of Hollywood icon Marilyn Monroe, secretly visiting the set of GODZILLA (1954) on the first day of shooting. She had been in private negotiations with the director Ishirō Honda about starring in the film, but he carefully explained to her through translators that the only American in it would be a male reporter to be played by Raymond Burr. Apparently, Monroe laughed merrily and said “NO, Silly!!” She wanted to play the title character… GODZILLA! She revealed she had been coached for months by her mentor Lee Strasberg and had stayed overnight at the Cuddly Critters Petting Zoo … in their iguana cage! The staff, again patiently, granted that although she was quite convincing at stepping on toy skyscrapers in slow motion and roar-honking loudly on cue, she was still too attractive to play a dinosaur… even if she DID stop using moisturizer. She was devastated and returned to America heartbroken. She immediately married baseball legend Joe DiMaggio. Who she claimed “looks a lot like Godzilla, especially when he just gets out of the shower!”…

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*Tour-ette at the Cherry Grove pier after a week of LGBTQ Pride and Supreme Court scandal! 6/27/2022

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*Tour-ette on a rainy Monday evening in Cherry Grove at the end of LGBTQ Pride Month. 6/27/2022

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Sybil Bruncheon's “My Merry Memoirs”… LGBTQ Pride Parades of the Past – 1987…

Here's Mummie walking down the entire route of the parade with her theatre pal Ron Coombs lending her moral support. My ride that year in a vintage convertible Mercedes had stood me up at the last minute right before the parade started (he had a hangover… or a date!), and there I was in my tiara by Larry Vrba and my coronation ball gown by Matthew Lombardi for NYC's first Night Of A Thousand Gowns. I’d been crowned the first Empress of NY by the Imperial Court System of America… Sybil the First - The Atlas Empress!... and the ball had been held in the newly renovated and restored Waldorf Astoria in their grand ballrooms… for the then unheard of sum of $250.00 a ticket! Can you imagine?

This was the old parade route too; starting at Central Park West at 70th Street, winding down to 59th, across to 5th Avenue, then straight all the way down to Washington Square Park in Greenwich Village, across to Christopher Street, past the historic Stonewall Inn and Sheridan Square, and then all the way down to the festival on the Hudson River. Mummy's feet bled for two days… yep! BLED!… and I limped for a week!

“But the show MUST GO ON!”, right? (I WAS the first Empress of NY after all) ... ah, good times!… good times...

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Sybil Bruncheon’s “My Merry Memoirs”… LGBTQ Pride Parades of the Past – 1996…

Here we have the Sybil Bruncheon Repertory Company (including Bob Gutowski & Jay Boehm, Jeffrey Wallach, and Marty Santoro all seen here, along with Jay Rogers, Thomas Stoehr, Douglas Huston, and James Takos) did a tribute to the 200th anniversary of the French revolution and the beheading of Marie Antoinette called "Those Naughty, Naughty Queens!". We built a working tumbril, and the entire company dressed as Revolutionaries and Sans Culottes selling toy-guillotines and headless gingerbread men to the crowds! And guess who got to be the Queen being dragged to the scaffold! Type-casting, I guess you could say!... and here I tried so hard and so often to treat my staff and supporting cast with so much kindness, generosity, and understanding… oh well. (Who would have thought that 25 years later with Washington DC in so much turmoil, our little caprice would be so very pertinent!) Ah, good times!... good times!

(photo by Matthew Kiernan, Sybil’s gown by Gefil Tefish of the Hefty Highness Hideaway)

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Sybil Bruncheon's “My Merry Memoirs”…LGBTQ Pride Parades of the Past - 1986.

Here's the cover of The NY Daily News from Monday, June 30th, 1986. At the time of the LGBTQ Pride Parade in 1986, even as I was headlining at the major clubs in NYC and around the country, I also happened to have been going through some serious misadventures involving a stock broker, the (now defunct!) brokerage house Thompson/McKinnon, a taxi cab accident, back due rent, and a major rent strike at the Ansonia! (talk about material for a memoir!)... and in the middle of all that drama there was the centennial of the Statue of Liberty with all the Tall Ships coming to town along with the President and foreign dignitaries to see it unveiled, newly refurbished and restored and with a brand new 24kt torch flame gleaming over the city. In the Pride Parade just days before the huge celebration on the 4th, I celebrated the centennial in my own way with my own "Liberty" outfit of gold lamé (by Cliff Boone and Morrie Breyer at A.Q.U.A.) and a custom-made torch (that actually lit up!). It was all great fun, and another triumphant parade for the LGBTQ community. But that's not the end of the story...  

The gloriously beautiful Monday morning after the parade, I had to face all the challenges of the rent strike, being broke, dealing with being swindled along with several other gullible guys, bills, deadlines, threats of eviction, blah, blah, blah, etc, etc. I knew I had to eat a good breakfast or I'd be nauseated the rest of the day with cramps, so I headed to the diner by my corner news stand!... and the nice Moroccan man behind the counter suddenly screamed gleefully at me pointing and waving a copy of the Daily News in front of a sidewalk full of staring commuters, "Derr! I tell you! I TELL YOU!! Derr is da lady! Derr is da LADY!!! You, meester! You ARE DA LADEEEE! Ha! HA! HAAA! YOU ARE DA LADEEEE!"...

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Sybil Bruncheon's "Ordinary Housewives & Their Extraordinary Adventures!'... Millie and Jane...

Isn't it strange how sometimes a seemingly innocent afternoon chore can suddenly, oh so suddenly veer into quite a different thing?... for instance, my bridge pals Millie Jankowski and Jane Plynth were asked to check out the county fair's amusement park rides for the Safety Committee at our PTA. There had been the usual breaches of licenses and certificates that one expects from circus and carny persons, especially when they show up at the town bureau in stained tank top t-shirts (I believe they call them "wife-beaters"). I'm sorry, but soiled hands, grimy fingernails, and too many tattoos of anchors wrapped in thorns, skulls smoking cigarettes, and words like "Mother", "Git Lost", and "Be My Beezle-Bubba" are NOT the sort of thing one should be displaying at the Town Manager's desk... especially at 8am.

Anyway, Millie and Jane along with several other of the concerned mothers went down on the opening morning of the Radnor County Fair to inspect the novelty booths, the concession stands and their foodstuffs, the amusement tents and their performers and inhabitants, and of course the rides! Each of the ladies was given her own clip board and a several page questionnaire to evaluate and either praise or criticize each aspect of the fair... on a scale of 1 to 10. Interestingly, the food concessions placed rather high in the scales; hot dogs were actually kosher and fairly pricey, cotton candy was spun in sterile and hygienic hoppers, popcorn was freshened every half hour, all dairy products (ice cream, etc) were kept safely at ice cold temperatures, and soft drinks were provided only by reputable corporations and not bottled in out-of-the-way locations like Borneo, Chad, or Buttpoke, Wisconsin.

Even the rides all seemed to pass inspection; bolts were tight, levers reliable, ratchet chains unrusted, wheels, pulleys, and rails all clean and shiny!... only the Devil's Delight Roller Coaster seemed to be problematic... you see, at one point on the ride, on the way down from the first major hill, there stood an arch under which the train would hurtle, carrying the screaming passengers! The arch was elaborately (and luridly!) painted with a smiling Satan, nearly naked and ferociously handsome and muscular, surrounded by dozens of leering imps, gnomes, elves, quanta-bobbies, and oblong garden vegetables all dancing , laughing, and making rude gestures at the passengers below. Flames, smoke, pitchforks of various lengths, and the usual "You're Going To Hell" paraphernalia were also scattered about in the mural... along with a tinny recording of raucous laughter, terrifying shouts, roaring thunder, tuneless organ music, and barnyard sounds.

And it was there just as they passed that an unexplainable phenomenon would occur! People would suddenly feel their undergarments groped, yes! GROPED... and even pulled up! Rather ENERGETICALLY! For men, there was the discomfort of having their "personal parts" suddenly mashed into their underpants, not so bad if they were wearing boxers, but with briefs, the sensation might be quite uncomfortable, eliciting bellows of anger and pain... or shrieks from men of a more... um... sensitive nature!

The ladies on the other hand, did not find the experience at all disquieting! In fact, they responded more often with yowling laughter... When asked afterwards what they felt under the archway as they hurtled by, they often blushed, looked nervously at each other and down at the ground, straightened their rumpled dresses, and retreated quickly to the foot-long hot-dog counter... with extra-spicy mustard!

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