Sybil Bruncheon's "Joan Crawford Birthday Festival!"...

Joan Crawford Transporter (1023).jpg

SYBIL BRUNCHEON’S "Hollywood Fact or Fiction!"…  TRUE STORY!!... this is the only known photo of the horribly tragic incident of "Joan Crawford & The MGM Transporter".... L.B. Mayer, in an attempt to save travel expenses for his major stars going on location shoots in the 1930s, invested in advanced scientific research at M.I.T. Albert Einstein and a handful of radical physicists claimed that they could "transport" props, camera equipment, and even movie stars around the globe in an instant and have them back in Hollywood for dinner after a full day of filming on the other side of the Earth. And no more faking foreign sets on Hollywood backlots!! Joan Crawford, being one of the biggest stars at the time, pushed her way to the front of the line on the day that they were to inaugurate the new "Now-Ur-Here/Now-Ur-Not Time Bender".... it was located just off the MGM Commissary near the dessert counters. After knocking Clark Gable and Franchot Tone to the floor, Crawford threw herself into the glass travel-booth...there was a blinding flash of silvery blue light, a whirring sound of gears and steam.. ending in the grinding of metal like a soda fountain milkshake-maker gone horribly awry... a scream and maybe some swear-words, and when the brown smoke cleared, there remained only a dish of beans and franks where the great Joan Crawford had just stood.... Fortunately with Einstein's great mind, his team's determination, and L.B.'s vast resources, they were able to bring Crawford back, a little at a time, over the following 3 weeks, although cafeteria-goers kept trying to eat her…..and complained of gas.  

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