Sybil Bruncheon's "Hollywood Lines That Might Have Been"...

Birdie Coonan to Margo Channing…

"So the doctor prescribes six packs a day, a quart of Kentucky bourbon, and non-stop basting with butter!... You'll definitely win the Sarah Siddons as Biggest Smoked Ham!"...

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Sybil Bruncheon's Silly Cinema Sequels!!...

EARTH vs. THE FLYING SAUCERS (1956) starring Hugh Marlowe and Joan Taylor... the little known sequel to ALL ABOUT EVE (1950).

The story follows the tragic career of playwright Lloyd Richards, who, after the failure of his Broadway play "Tippy-Toes On The Back Staircase", loses his marriage to Karen, his friendship to Margo Channing, and any possible romantic involvement with Eve Harrington, Birdie Coonan, Miss Caswell, or Addison DeWitt. Unable to ever get another reservation at the Stork Club, he changes his name and goes out West posing as a scientist or a writer.. or... whatever. He remarries eventually and after a lackluster career with cacti and prairie dogs, he is attacked by aliens and flying saucers. Ray guns, brain-washing, and merriment ensue... along with some property damage. Interestingly, this is his second run-in with people from outer space... well, the third, if you include Max Fabian...

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Sybil Bruncheon's Holiday Hollywood Hilarity!...

“…ok, Lloyd, you ran over Santa! YOU RAN OVER SANTA!.. now let’s check the bag, take the loot, and get outta here!”…

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Sybil Bruncheon's Holiday Hollywood Hilarity!…

“Listen! AGED IN WOOD bombed, and so did your stupid FOOTSTEPS ON THE CEILING!.... now strap on your fat-suit, and get your ass over to Macy's! They only hired you as Santa because I begged them!... well… that… and you're a baritone!!!!"...

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Sybil Bruncheon's Holiday Hollywood Hilarity!

"… and after I did the Christmas pageant and played the third shepherd, and my grandma got run over by a reindeer, and Santa got stuck in the chimbley... well… I ended up here..."

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Sybil Bruncheon's Holiday Hollywood Hilarity!

"Naughty or Nice? NAUGHTY OR NICE?!?....whattya mean I didn't make it to his damn Nice List?!?! You tell Santa to go to HELL!..  GO TO HELL!!"…

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Sybil Bruncheon's Holiday Hollywood Hilarity!

"... you're from the North Pole??... you won't get home till all hours…”

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SYBIL'S CINEMA!....The "WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?" series..... ALL ABOUT EVE (1950)…

I've proposed some epilogues to Hollywood to be shown after the credits roll on some well-loved films. Perfect for those stories and characters you just want to go on and on and on…

ALL ABOUT EVE (1950)… Eve Harrington leaves the following morning for Hollywood with Phoebe in tow as her "assistant". She does indeed get a film…or two a la "The Ten Commandments"; trashy 'sandal and spear' melodrama/spectacles, but NOT deep art. As films begin to give way to television, she bounces from one two-season loser to another, and finally does sad monster movies about giant bugs or rabbits in the 1960s... Her money begins to run out so she opens a gardening center/bed and breakfast with Phoebe near Russian River, and they raise Shetland ponies for petting zoos and shopping center openings.

Despite their unpromising character flaws and early behavior, they somehow stay together and even marry in old age when LGBTQ marriage-equality rights become available.

(An interesting side note; it’s revealed that in 1976, Addison DeWitt was murdered in an alleyway by the same pizza-deliveryman/hustler who later killed Sal Mineo. DeWitt died the same day that Eve’s Sarah Siddons Award was trampled by an enraged llama during an 8 year-old’s birthday party…

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