Sybil Bruncheon's "My Brilliant Career!".....Chapter 36:

A British film studio sent me a proposal for a remake of the 1960s film GEORGY GIRL with me in the title role……. Here’s the opening sequence:

London. Music plays on an old broken juke box in a rundown pub…."HEY THERE, Georgy Girl! There's another Georgy deep inside...show off all the love you hide.....". etc., etc.... Georgy (Sybil) an overweight dumpy girl dressed in a forlorn “mod” costume dances around sad pub, upsetting chair and a table with mugs on it..... she jumps up on counter to do the “frug”, when counter collapses onto 6 patrons, killing one, and crippling 3 others for life!!!!!.....music stops as ambulance and local police are called......patrons run out of pub screaming in horror..... (dramatic monster music)…

Gorgo suddenly appears from behind a hillside attracted by screams. Interacts with electrical power lines and Big Ben. While upending a tramp steamer on the Thames, a street car heading for Piccadilly, and a fish-cart selling cockles, mussels, (alive-alive-o!), he notices a plump rubber snack on the ground. He doesn’t realize it’s actually Georgy and picks it up in his mouth, shaking it like a puppy playing with a sock, and swallows it in one gulp...... He rampages on to Glasgow for a night of drinking and carousing on a pub crawl with Godzilla, Rodan, and Mothra who have flown in for the weekend!.... more mischief ensues involving more ship sinkings, planes pulled from midair, and fish-cart tragedies.. in the closing credits, Judith Durham and The Seekers are heard singing "Hey there GORGIE-boy, there's another GEORGY deep inside.....". Credit roll reveals cameo appearances by Honor Blackman, Ethel Griffies, O.P. Heggie, Ernest Thesiger, and an as-yet-unknown Sean Connnery as a fish-and-chips peddler in Brighton. As the credits finish, the Monkees are seen running around in a fast-motion chase with tambourines and Benny Hill carrying an ax! Black-out.

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From Sybil Bruncheon's "MY MERRY MEMOIRS"... chapter 111, page 712... Dagmar, Me, and The War...

It was in 1942 when I had been recruited by the OSS as an espionage agent and part-time assassin. I was a very public celebrity in the Hollywood and Broadway circuits, always in the society columns in the papers, which was a fabulous cover, so no one would believe that the middle-aged, frumpy cleaning lady leaving my dressing rooms was actually me in disguise carrying military secrets, battle strategies, secret communiques, or a gun with a silencer... on my way to a dangerous assignment.

And it was at that time, and only that time, that my identical twin sister Dagmar, could be counted on to reject her usual and all-consuming narcissism, and actually devote herself to the war effort. So there we were, strolling through the fog in London, an elderly lady hobbling along on the arm of her nurse-companion... rounding the corner on Dunruddy Way to 21 Baysend Mews... to exterminate Dr. Gaylon Burnfender... aka Fritzi Großer Schlauch, a gestapo officer.

And then home again to our little apartment, for a tin of caviar on toast and a bottle of icy cold Veuve Clicquot and perhaps a round or two of Mah Jong… ah, good times… good times…

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GOOGLING YOUR OWN NAME... DON'T DO IT!!!

 I always tell my friends NEVER to Google themselves....it's the swiftest path to despair and perdition. I Googled my own name and found;

 1) Cibyl Bruntcheon (1828-1910) Pioneer woman and early advocate for women's rights. On her way to California, she was stranded with the Donner party and, because of her training in the foremost French culinary academies, she was elected to be their chef. She was especially adept at fricassées, entrées en croûte, hors-d'oeuvre, and peanut butter & jelly "finger" sandwiches.

 2) Sybill Brunchkin (1892-1949) Diminutive character actress who took her status as the "World's Only Midget Contortionist" and toured the circuses and carnivals of Europe as THE MYSTERIOUS, THE INSATIABLE VAJEEN (palm reading, phrenology, limericks, and sleight of hand!). She finally came to Hollywood and appeared in a few films including THE WIZARD OF OZ (1939) as "third busy-body Munchkin from the left wearing tulip and daisy pasties".

 3) Thimble Truncheon: A small weapon used by royalty and ladies of high class to discipline servants with a flick of a finger against the back of the head.

 4) Simple Luncheon: an uncomplicated snack at midday involving only one course and hurried dining, ordered a la carte, often eaten while standing up.

 5) My stage name in Bollywood is "Supple Bludgeon"....(especially in nudey/monster/musicals)

6) Cyril “Quibble” Thunking (1851-1921) A Liverpool barrister and ambulance chaser who specialized in unicycle accidents among clowns and acrobats in questionable circus settings.

7) “Nipples” Punchkin (1938- 1993) Infamous Slovakian lady-boxer known for fighting dirty… really dirty!

8) Shishbibble Foreskin: A yiddish insult directed at a Gentile litterer.

(artwork - top row, r. to l.: Scott Wippermann, Yuriy Kushner, Richard A. White. bottom row, r. to l.: Koitz, Olan Montgomery, Michael Margulies, Jack D. Pedota & Susan Suka Taylor)

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Sybil Bruncheon's "My Merry Memoirs" - Chapter 34...

Back in the 1970s, I rotated as a ward-manager through NY Hospital over on York Avenue on the "graveyard shift"... A woman came in one night to the Emergency Room claiming she was Marie Antoinette, and that she had escaped successfully from Versailles! (It was her beloved maid, she explained, that had gone to the guillotine in her place, and "saved her from the ignorant mob"). Her Majesty complained of stomach pains that had started right after she visited the 18th Century French rooms at the Metropolitan Museum earlier that day... Upon examination, it was found she had hidden a charming gilded desk clock complete with mechanical chirping birds, chimes, and a shepherdess inside her rectum when the guards weren't looking. The real discomfort came though with the entire writing desk that she had pushed in afterwards!...... and the chair!!!... she apologized that the clock was now running a little slow and that she also farted every time it chimed… even on the quarter-hour… The admitting physician and the desk nurses took their time with her, gave her a patient-gown, and calmly booked her into the Payne Whitney Psychiatric wing… (postscript: Poor "Marie Antoinette"... was later discovered to be a Miss Naomi Gillstein of 423 E. 71st.... apartment 2C... in the back!)...

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From Merlin Monroe's "Legacy news"... Sybil as a child at the Café Papillon Dérangé...

Oh, how I hoped I would grow up to be Jane Austen… or maybe Elizabeth Bennett!

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Sybil Bruncheon's Merry Memoirs: Chapter 18, "Funny Friends and Their Funny Ways"....

I knew a Melanie Farkakte on the McFeeney's Burlesque Circuit... she recited dirty haikus, played the trombone, and bent herself into surprisingly suggestive shapes... using oblong vegetables as her inspirations... Sadly, her arms had been paralyzed from a soap-box derby crash... and she'd lost her left leg in a potato-sack race gone-horribly-wrong at the Lucas County Fair... (she also happened to be an orthodox Jewish girl! She left the theatre at 4PM every Friday, did no shows on Saturday, and refused any boxes of chocolates or bouquets of flowers that contained shellfish or bacon! ...foolish girl!) She passed away suddenly at 43 years of age in the deadly Contagious Guilt Epidemic that struck Five Towns, Long Island during a Weight Watchers Convention...

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