Sybil Bruncheon's "THANKSGIVINGS PAST"... the morning after....

The dark underside of the Macy's parade and the Hollywood celebrities that appear in it!!!... Yeah, it's all marching bands, jolly elves, twirling batons, happy clowns dancing on musical floats, and children, children everywhere! But what about the next morning? ...That bleak Friday when the stinking garbage is full of discarded sweet potatoes with their soggy marshmallows, wilted green beans turning brown, and a picked-over turkey carcass! ... Somewhere on a littered side-street a former star of the silver screen lies face-down in a gutter after a night of cigarettes, cheap women, and Wild Turkey in a crumpled paper cup! Where are Goofy and Mickey?... in the balcony at the Gaiety maybe. Where's Minnie?.. turning one last trick over in the Central Park boathouse or out near the piers with a traveling salesman....or two? Where's Pluto? ..taking a leak against the railing at Gracie Mansion?... Yeah!..where's a pal when you need them, huh?... It's a rough town!..and a rough business when you run around in a sailor suit... but with no pants...

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The NRA throws a par-TAY!!!!

BREAKING NEWS from the CNN news desk!... The NRA and its supporters in Congress are inviting the public to a special holiday event in the home of their beloved Charlton Heston! For the nominal fee of $900 per ticket you too can have the pleasure of an evening of merry-making, tale-telling, hunting lore, exotic cocktails, and gourmet snacks made from freshly killed zoo animals! Seminars will include "Furs in Fashion", "Fishing With Hand Grenades", and "Taxidermy for Fun 'n' Forever!".... and the whole she-BANG will take place on Heston's estate including in his famous "I'M LOADED Game Room"...(please! NO smoking!...there's too much gunpowder lying around!) Want tickets? Just dial C-O-L D-E-D H-A-N-Z. That's right, dial 265-333-4260. The nice man will tell you how to order! 

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Sybil Bruncheon's "Hollywood Scandals".... Here, Kitty, Kitty!....

Back in 2015, the producers of the new James Bond film SPECTRE (2015) revealed that the great Angela Lansbury was to make a cameo appearance in it as "Poosy Galore"... still sexy, curvaceous, though “mature”... and..um... frisky...

Co-star Daniel Craig acknowledged at a press conference that Lansbury "Sure is a great kisser!...once you get past the whiskers!.....oh, and the yowling..."

Interestingly, because of the great difference in their ages (Daniel Craig was 41 and Lansbury admitted to be only slightly over 112), there was now some talk in Hollywood of Lansbury being accused of sexually inappropriate behavior... "with a youngster"! The networks may cancel all reruns of MURDER SHE WROTE, and Disney is pulling Mrs. Potts tea sets from the Magic Kingdom gift shops. Further details on the news at 6.... 8mm peep-show at 11.

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Sybil Bruncheon's "30 DAYS OF THANKSGIVING!"... That's show business!....

The idea was really good.. actually GREAT! A ventriloquist act that centered on Thanksgiving with a turkey, a girl, and an axe, and all for the Orpheum Vaudeville circuit!.. right around the Holiday! No one had ever done it before, and when news of it hit the casting offices, everyone wanted to book it....all the way up to Flo Ziegfeld!.... but then..the sad downward spiral that hits those overnight sensations. You see, the dummy kept falling over or breaking, and Tom couldn’t work her arms right... and you could see his beak move every time he tried to make her ask for more cranberry sauce… Finally, he started drinking Wild Turkey… and then… his hair transplants fell out. To support his drinking, he finally sold her to a third-rate magician… to saw in half… or… um… “make friends with”… out on the road…

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Sybil's "My Merry Memoirs"!!!.....

....My Show-Biz Adventures!..... In the 1950s, during the great nun-frenzy that swamped both Broadway and Hollywood, I was cast in THE FRISKY SISTER (1956), a "rolling rollicking romp of riotous religi-osity"!! It was the very last film that L.B. Mayer produced, and, as a matter of fact, it was premiered at his funeral while the family was sitting shiva. I was asked to bring my guitar and sing some of the hit songs, including "No Whimpering In My Wimple!", "Dominika-Nika-Natrix!", "I Confess That I'm A Mother...Superior!", and "Living On Bread And Water And Some Hill-Billy Kissin'". It starred Wally Cox, Eartha Kitt, Alice Ghostley, Louis Nye, Narda Onyx, and Pinkie Floozleton & His Merry-Makin' Monks!!!!.... And the big finale with the hand puppets at the Nazi cocktail party was really the best!. …ah, good times..... good times.... sadly, the two sequels were box-office failures; NUN BUT THE BRAVE (1957), a Western where I fell in love with a nice Apache man who was selling trinkets door-to-door and eventually becomes the Pope, and BREAKING THE HABIT (1958), a women's prison film where I start out as spiritual advisor to a bunch of hardened lady-criminals and end up running a corrupt bingo ring in Sing-Sing as "head-bitch" in cell block seven. I'm finally saved from the electric chair by a tuna fish sandwich that had the image of Saint Cornichonette in its mayonnaise. (photo by Lawrence Hunter)

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Sybil Bruncheon's "30 DAYS OF THANKSGIVING!"... Ethan & Noah...

... For years after they arrived on the New England shores of the New World, the Puritans had been mocked by the Native Americans who were already here. Called "Pilgrims", they would hear the Indians snicker at dinner time about how they were all "pills" and certainly very "grim". Their clothes, demeanor, work habits, and forlorn jokes and songs without melodies did nothing to improve their standing, and it took a toll on their livelihoods both on Cape Cod and in Plymouth where many of them settled. Nightclubs like "The Jolly Prayer-Man", "Old Mistress Silly's", "Reverend Jokester's Joint", and "The What's ALE-ING You Bar & Grill" all closed after only a few months. Even little shops like the "Lamb of Peace O' Cake Cottage" and the "SIN-lessly Almost Delicious Semi-Sweets Hovel" couldn't survive the cold and dour Winter or the half-hearted business that came their way. The biggest laughs were usually heard at the local blacksmith's forge and only when Josiah Industrious Howard hit his thumb with a mallet.... (although he DID draw huge crowds of listeners who would sit patiently for days to hear him injure himself at which point he would be met with shrieks of laughter and wild applause, sometimes with 10 minute standing-ovations...and encores!).... It was in this sad and grey climate that some of the settlers would escape for a much-needed taste of passion, life, love, and a little romance.... Oh, how lucky, how very lucky Ethan Nickerson and Noah Paumgartner were to find each other and to discover a mutual interest over near Fog Hollow Marsh on that chilly November afternoon.... They'd always look back on November 16, 1640 as a lovely first date at anniversary time..

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Sybil Bruncheon's THANKSGIVING stories of strangeness....

At Thanksgiving time, Phil was one of those guys that went back again and again...and again....and AGAIN to the kitchen to get more and more...and MORE helpings. If he was invited to someone's home for the Holiday, they knew there'd be no leftovers remaining for snacking later in the week! "Fill 'Er Up Phil" was his nickname, and he'd clean out everything!.... And then, one Thanksgiving, something terrible happened... something that the medical staff of the hospital, the police, and even the scientists who were called in could NOT explain. Interesting though.. Phil's last name was Perdue...(although he was only a distant cousin.) The Perdue family was profoundly embarrassed as Phil's condition intensified. Finally Frank Perdue and his son DID take Phil in and house him in a remote cottage in the Berkshires where a staff kept him very well tended, and far away from prying fans.... oh!… and frying pans.

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Sybil Bruncheon's THANKSGIVING bulletins from around the country:

...Poor Carolyn....she left the Brussels sprouts in the oven a little too long....and in that strange marinade too!.... Julia Child had warned her in chapter 44 about "Thanksgiving DOs and DON'Ts", but NOooo!!!! ..girls like Carolyn always "know everything about everything!”…. Sadly, the police arrived too late...

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Sybil Bruncheon's HOLLYWOOD THANKSGIVING!..... Hey there, Bogie!

Yes, Folks, glamorous Lauren Bacall and movie heart-throb Humphrey Bogart are seen here at their Beverly Hills home talking about the script from TO HAVE AND HAVE NOT... with their co-star Walter Brennan!

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Sybil's "30 DAYS OF THANKSGIVING!".... that's show biz!

"Now THAT'S what L.B. use to call a drumstick!!".....

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