Sybil Bruncheon's "KNITTING NEWS NEAR & FAR"…….

Gronklin, Missouri: A Miss Harriet Sneeden was admitted to the Gronklin Intensive Care Rehab Clinic for Substance Abuse By Elderly Persons Who Should Know Better. It seems that Harriet (a much beloved 3rd grade geography teacher for over 37 years) had finally succumbed to the temptations of oxycontin, crack cocaine, ghb, crystal meth, poppers, and secret super 8 films of the local high school football team in their locker room. An intervention was staged last Fall by her fellow gardening club members, and she was housed in the "incorrigible ward" at the clinic where she received daily psycho-therapy, specially designed diets, hydro and electro-convulsive therapy (sometimes at the same time!), and craft classes. Sadly, although Harriet showed definite signs of improvement and sobriety, her crocheting took on increasingly ominous aspects, and she was found just this morning nearly swallowed by a 400lb. "onesy" that had morphed into an entire sofa. The rescue workers who burst into her room were nearly blinded by the conflicting chevron patterns and her grotesque color choices… Two of the EMTs were temporarily blinded and suffered projectile vomiting and ringing in their ears. Miss Sneeden has been confined for an indeterminate amount of time in a grey flannel strait-jacket and a giant Maytag washing machine cardboard box with the flaps closed….

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

Sybil Bruncheon's "Hysterical Healthful Histories"... The Philbert Institute For Defused Alienation.

With the close of the 19th century, social scientists, philosophical and political observers, anthropologists, and medical professionals discussed the new phenomenon of angst that seemed to be consuming people in all walks of life in industrializing America. As greater and greater numbers of citizens left farming in the rural countryside and built their lives and careers in overcrowded cities, there seemed to be a loss of basic family constructs and communal feelings between neighbors. Dr. Joshua Philbert was a scientist who, in addition to his extensive medical background, was immersed in research into nutritional and specialized exercise programs to improve mental and physical health. Philbert created his institute for patients (or "enrollees" as he preferred to address them) to find an all-consuming wellness and inner peace that would sustain them even after they had returned to their stressful lives.

A two-week stay involved daily schedules of classes, exercises, spa treatments, lectures, crafting, movement seminars, gardening, physical exertion, and nudist culture. Sing-alongs, square dance, wicker-weaving, and watermelon war-games were all especially popular with the enrollees. Here we see a typical Watermelon War-Game in which the jolly participants are instructed to eat as much melon as possible and to spit the seeds at opposing "warriors" as quickly and violently as possible. All physical contact between aggressors must be done only through the seeds being spat and on no account should there be any touching or even cross-words. The war-games were also a sensible way to settle any bickering, arguments, petty quarrels, or personal jealousies among the enrollees and even the institute staff as well.

Two unfortunate issues did come up though during the war-games; 1) The more aggressive the "battles" became, the more watermelons the participants would consume resulting in extraordinary amounts of water weight being put on during their stays. Guests also complained of severe stomach cramps, excessive urination, and unpredictably explosive diarrhea often in front of visitors and at mealtimes. …and 2) Some seeds ended up putting people's eyes out or even choking enrollees…. to death.

These tragic setbacks were not lost on John Harvey Kellogg over at his Battle Creek Health Sanitarium. His version of aggression therapy involved patients being costumed in gigantic elasticized one-piece pajamas gathered at the wrists, ankles and neck and filled with bales of milkweed fluff. They were then given huge pillows of the same stuff and instructed to hit each other as violently as they pleased and to yell hideous epithets while confined in huge padded gymnasiums. This exercise would go on for hours until finally, exhausted, they would be found sleeping peacefully and happily mumbling names of beloved childhood pets. The staff would gently carry them back to their separate cells. Kellogg of course charged a fraction of the same fees as Philbert did and the Philbert Institute soon went out of business…. Later, Professor Philbert changed his name to Filbert, moved to Monte Carlo, and made a fortune importing nuts... the edible kind.

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

A New SYBIL'S "WHO'Z DAT?"... ESTELLE WINWOOD (January 24, 1883 - June 20, 1984).

Darlings! Mummy has made a decision! After reading dozens of posts and having hundreds of conversations with well-meaning folks who just don't know about the great CHARACTER actors who gave films the depth and genius that surrounded and supported the so-called "stars", I am going to post a regular, special entry called SYBIL'S "WHO'Z DAT??"....there'll be photos and a mini-bio, and the next time you see one of those familiar, fabulous faces that you just "can't quite place".......well, maybe these posts will help. Some of these actors worked more, had longer and broader careers, and ended up happier, more loved, and even wealthier than the "stars" that the public "worships"......I think there may be a metaphor in that! What do you think??? Our guest this week is Estelle Winwood (January 24, 1883 – June 20, 1984)!!!

No! You’re seeing those dates right folks!!! She lived to be 101 years old….all the way back in 1984!! Did Willard Scott do a tribute??? Born Estelle Ruth Goodwin in England, she decided at five years of age to be an actress, and with her mother’s support she trained with the Lyric Stage Academy in London, before making her professional debut in Johannesburg at the age of 20. During the First World War she joined the Liverpool Repertory Company in Liverpool, Lancashire before moving on to a career in the West End theatre in London. She moved to the U.S. in 1916 and made her Broadway début in New York City; and, until the beginning of the 1930s, she divided her time between New York City and London. Throughout her career, her first love was the theatre; and, as the years passed, she appeared less frequently in London and became a frequent performer on Broadway, appearing in such plays as A SUCCESSFUL CALAMITY (1917), A LITTLE JOURNEY (1918), SPRING CLEANING (1923), THE DISTAFF SIDE (1934), THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST (which she also directed, 1939), WHEN WE ARE MARRIED (1939), LADIES IN RETIREMENT (1940), THE PIRATE (1942), TEN LITTLE INDIANS (1944), LADY WINDERMERE'S FAN (1947), and THE MADWOMAN OF CHAILLOT (1948). Like many stage actors of her era, she expressed a distaste for films and resisted the offers she received during the 1920s. Finally, she relented and made her film début in NIGHT ANGEL (1931), but her scenes were cut before the film's release. Her official film début came in THE HOUSE OF TRENT (1933), followed by QUALITY STREET (1937).

During the 1940s she continued her stage work with no films whatsoever, but in the 50s she began to take an interest in the new medium of Television. Because of her eccentric appearance and delivery, she guest starred on a wide variety of tv shows including the TWILIGHT ZONE, ALFRED HITCHCOCK PRESENTS, THE DONNA REED SHOW, DR. KILDARE, PERRY MASON, BEWITCHED, BATMAN, LOVE AMERICAN STYLE, THE REAL McCOYS, DENNIS THE MENACE, and several others. In the 1950s, 60s, and 70s she continued both onstage and in television making only occasional but unforgettable appearances in films like THE GLASS SLIPPER (1955), THE SWAN (1956), DARBY O’GILL AND THE LITTLE PEOPLE (1959), THE MISFITS (1961), THE MAGIC SWORD (1962), THE NOTORIOUS LANDLADY (1962), DEAD RINGER (1964), CAMELOT (1967) and THE PRODUCERS (1968). Winwood's final film appearance, at age 92 in MURDER BY DEATH (1976), was as Elsa Lanchester’s character's ancient nursemaid. In this film, she joined other veteran actors spoofing some of the most popular detective characters in murder mysteries. When she made her final television appearance in a 1979 episode of QUINCY she officially became, at age 96, the oldest actor working in the U.S., beating out fellow British actress Ethel Griffies, who worked until her 90s. Winwood ultimately achieved an eighty-year career on the stage from her début at age 16 until her final appearance at age 100, playing Sir Rex Harrison’s mother in his final MY FAIR LADY tour in 1983.

In the 1930s she was very good friends with Tallulah Bankhead and actresses Eva Le Gallienne and Blyth Daly. They were dubbed "The Four Riders of the Algonquin" in the early silent film days, because of their appearances together at the "Algonquin Round Table". Winwood was married four times but bore no children. She died in her sleep in Woodland Hills, California, in 1984, at age 101. She was the oldest member in the history of the Screen Actors Guild. She was interred in the Westwood Village Memorial Park Cemetery. When Estelle was asked, on the occasion of her 100th birthday, how she felt to have lived so long, she replied, "How rude of you to remind me!".

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

A New Sybil Bruncheon's "WHO'Z DAT?"... FRANKLIN PANGBORN (January 23, 1889 – July 20, 1958)

Darlings! Mummy has made a decision! After reading dozens of posts and having hundreds of conversations with well-meaning folks who just don't know about the great CHARACTER actors who gave films the depth and genius that surrounded and supported the so-called "stars", I am going to post a regular, special entry called SYBIL'S "WHO'Z DAT??"....there'll be photos and a mini-bio, and the next time you see one of those familiar, fabulous faces that you just "can't quite place".......well, maybe these posts will help. Some of these actors worked more, had longer and broader careers, and ended up happier, more loved, and even wealthier than the "stars" that the public "worships"......I think there may be a metaphor in that! What do you think??? Well, a few weeks ago, we reviewed the wonderful talent and character of Eric Blore, an actor who was thought of as one of the best butler, floorwalker, hotel manager-types Hollywood ever produced. And if he had a rival, it would be our next guest, Mr. Franklin Pangborn (January 23, 1889 – July 20, 1958)

Although most people believed that he was British, he was actually born in Newark, New Jersey (!) Very little is known of his early years, education, or career. An encounter with actress Mildred Holland when he was 17 led to Pangborn's first professional acting experience. He was working for an insurance company when she learned about his ambitions for acting and offered him an extra's position with her company at $12 per week, initially during his two weeks' vacation. That opportunity grew into four years' touring with Holland and her troupe. Following that, he acted in Jessie Bonstelle’s stock company.

He first appeared in Broadway theatre in 1911 and appeared in an additional five plays through to 1913. Again, nothing seems to be known about him until he served in the Army during World War I in 1917, and he doesn’t reappear in the records until his role in a 1924 play again on Broadway. Interestingly, for someone later identified mainly with comedy, Pangborn's early theatrical roles were mostly dramatic and included Armand Duval in CAMILLE, another role in a play adaptation of BEN HUR, and two parts in JOSEPH AND HIS BRETHERN. 

But Hollywood saw things differently. From his debut film in the silent EXIT SMILING (1926) to his final appearance in THE STORY OF MANKIND (1957), Pangborn was cast in almost nothing but comedy roles. In the early 1930s, Pangborn worked in short subjects for Mack Sennett, Hal Roach, Universal Pictures, Columbia Pictures, and Pathé, always in support of the leading players. For example, he played a befuddled photographer opposite “Spanky” McFarland in the OUR GANG short subject WILD POSES (1933). He also appeared in scores of feature films in small roles, cameos, and recurring gags. With his prissy voice and floor-walker demeanor, Pangborn became the perfect desk clerk, dressmaker, society secretary, or all-around busybody in well over 100 films. As a matter of fact, both he AND Eric Blore were cast as comic hotel managers in FLYING DOWN TO RIO (1933), the film that officially announced the pairing of Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire for the first time.

Pangborn was a favorite of Mack Sennett who cast him repeatedly in short subjects. Most of Pangborn's pre-1936 appearances were in bits or minor roles, but a brief turn as a snotty society scavenger-hunt scorekeeper opposite Carole Lombard and William Powell in MY MAN GODFREY (1936) cemented his reputation as a surefire laugh-getter. The actor was a particular favorite of W.C. Fields, who saw to it that Pangborn was prominently cast in Fields' THE BANK DICK (1940) as hapless bank examiner J. Pinkerton Snoopington and again in NEVER GIVE A SUCKER AN EVEN BREAK (1941). He was a constant in smart comedy from Frank Capra and Gregory La Cava to the more extreme screwball comedies of Preston Sturges, though frequently upstaged with such a company of funny men as Sturges gathered around him. His appearance in Sturges’ HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO (1942) is perhaps his most riotous performance and his defining moment as celebrity comedian. Playing the chairman of the welcoming-home committee to the false-hero of Eddie Bracken, he is trying to coordinate all the festivities and caught in a literal battle of bands at the beginning of the film. Converged upon by various hokey town bands who all want to play the featured pieces, Pangborn attempts order but is methodically carried away as crowds of people arrive to suggest other songs and to assail him with arguments while the bands continue to play all the songs at once! It is musical chaos with Pangborn finally reduced to desperate blasts on a whistle and jumping up and down yelling "Not yet! Not yet!" It is one of the actor's finest pieces.

Yet Pangborn's usual stock of characters could fit drama as well. Actually, in HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO, his coordinator also has some dramatic scenes as well. He is used in dramas as a source of amusement as in NOW VOYAGER (1942) where he plays the cruise tourist director, waiting on deck for Bette Davis to join the tour of Rio De Janeiro. As an accomplished stage actor, he did miss the boards, and his friend Edward Everett Horton cast him in Horton's Los Angeles-based Majestic Theatre productions.

Pangborn played essentially the same character: prissy, polite, elegant, highly energetic, often officious, fastidious, somewhat nervous, prone to becoming flustered but essentially upbeat, and with immediately recognizable high-speed, patter-type speech. He typically played an officious desk clerk in a hotel, a self-important musician, a fastidious headwaiter, or an enthusiastic birdwatcher, and was usually put in a situation where he was frustrated or flustered by the antics of other characters. During the 30s and 40s, he appeared in over fifty films including classics like STAGE DOOR (1937), CAREFREE (1938), REBECCA OF SUNNYBROOK FARM (1938), SULLIVAN’S TRAVELS (1941), and THE PALM BEACH STORY (1942). Because of his brilliant ability at drawing a vivid character in just a few moments of screen time, he worked with and was admired by the greatest movie stars and directors of the golden age of Hollywood.

But times changed for Pangborn's specialties. Movies were more diverse and updated as the 1950s ensued. He immediately adapted to the ‘small screen’ which re-introduced him as a guest star on TV comedy shows, playing his beloved characters as cameo celebrations of his matter-of-fact stardom. Pangborn thrived on television, guesting both on sit-coms and variety shows, including an appearance as a giggling serial-killer in a "Red Skelton Show" comedy sketch. Pangborn was very briefly the announcer on Jack Paar’s “The Tonight Show”, but was fired after the first few weeks for a lack of "spontaneous enthusiasm" and replaced by Hugh Downs. The first episode is practically the only one that survives completely intact since the others were wiped by the network (except for selected clips!) to save money on videotape, the network's policy through the early 1970s. The show begins with Pangborn (enthusiastically!) reading the introduction with the coda "...and it's all live!".

Pangborn lived in Laguna Beach, California in a house with his mother and his "occasional boyfriend", according to William Mann in Behind the Screen. He died at 69 years of age on July 20, 1958 just a few months after his Jack Parr appearance and following cancer surgery. He is buried at Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Glendale. The 1940 census lists his age as 40, ten years younger than birth records show. For all of his fine work in film, Franklin Pangborn has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame at 1500 Vine Street.

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!] 

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FROM P.E.T.A... THE HEARTBREAK!

The heartbreak of alcohol abuse in the modern pet household!!... Good morning, Friends!... (and I use that term loosely). Please ask yourself, and be brutally frank. Does your pet drink privately when you're at work?? ....Have you ever seen your Burmese casually brush things off kitchen counters while staring at you....or pretend to read the newspaper, and then eat it?...Does he or she hide stashes of catnip or old smelly socks under sofas, in cardboard boxes, or buried in houseplants? ....Does your four-legged friend cry inconsolably during broadcasts of the Westminster Kennel Club show.... or old Nine Lives commercials?? ....Does your tabby disguise himself as Morris the Cat and run up gambling debts, often with unsavory syndicate types? Has your chihuahua started wearing heavy perfumes or colognes to cover the smell of cheap booze on her breath?....Does your Collie secretly entertain OTHER pets in your home when you're away at work or on vacation, while claiming he’s actually Lassie?......Have you found livestock-nudey magazines, cassette tapes involving barnyard sounds, or OTHER pets' collars in YOUR home… with lip stick on them???.....These are all warning signs of the lonely downward spiral of pet-substance-abuse.....

Don't let shame keep YOU from helping your loved one!!!! Act now!!!!!! Dial PUSSY DRUNK!...that's right! P-U-S-S-Y D-R-U-N-K! Yes, go right to the telephone and dial 787-793-7865. The nice man will tell you how to order an intervention NOW!...and he'll even bring the leash... and a MUZZLE if necessary! Let your new command for this New Year be "HEEL!...and HEAL!" We thank you.

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

Sybil's "Fascinating Folks!... Charles James"...

Ok! You don't have to be a woman, or even a fashionista to appreciate both the over-the-top styling in this photo or the sheer brilliance of the architecture, both of the room and the gowns that these women have been hammered into! (Talk about a girl watching her diet! JEEEESH!) This is the famous Cecil Beaton portrait from 1948 of various socialite/models in a selection of ball gowns designed (and actually COMPLETED! JEEEESH, AGAIN!) by the crack-pot/genius Charles James (July 18th, 1906 – September, 23rd, 1978) . Acknowledged (often resentfully) by admiring/envious rivals like Dior, Chanel, et al, he was also notoriously temperamental (with an emphasis on the "mental"!), and unreliable in his follow-through. Dozens of his wealthy and powerful clients waited indefinitely, impatiently, (and finally forever!) for gowns that they had paid FULLY for, but might not see in their closets. His business as well as his reputation (and mind) unraveled until he ended up broke and alone in the marvelously ramshackle Chelsea Hotel in NYC... where he died, chain-smoking and drunk at the age of 72... practically a bag-man... but still, a genius! (photo by Cecil Beaton!... yes, THAT Cecil Beaton!!)

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

A New Sybil's "WHO'Z DAT?"... ERNEST THESIGER (January 15, 1879 - January 14, 1961)

Darlings! Mummy has made a decision! After reading dozens of posts and having hundreds of conversations with well-meaning folks who just don't know about the great CHARACTER actors who gave films the depth and genius that surrounded and supported the so-called "stars", I am going to post a regular, special entry called SYBIL'S "WHO'Z DAT??"....there'll be photos and a mini-bio, and the next time you see one of those familiar, fabulous faces that you just "can't quite place".......well, maybe these posts will help. Some of these actors worked more, had longer and broader careers, and ended up happier, more loved, and even wealthier than the "stars" that the public "worships"......I think there may be a metaphor in that! What do you think??? And while you’re considering it, let me introduce one of the rarest performers in the history of Hollywood…. An orchid in a field of daisies! He's Ernest Thesiger (January 15, 1879 - January 14, 1961).

The grandson of the 1st Lord Chelmsford, Thesiger was born in London, England and was the first cousin once removed of the explorer and author Wilfred Thesiger (1910–2003), and the nephew of 2nd Lord Chelmsford, who, exactly a week after Ernest's birth, famously led his troops in battle against and suffered a defeat at the hands of a Zulu army at the Battle of Isandlwana.

Thesiger attended Marlborough College and the Slade School of Art with aspirations of becoming a painter, but quickly switched to drama, making his professional debut in a production of Colonel Smith in 1909. After the outbreak of World War I, in 1914 Thesiger volunteered as Rifleman No.2546 with the 2nd Battalion of the 9th London Regiment (Queen Victoria's Rifles). After training in England for 3 months he was sent to the Western Front in late 1914, and was wounded in the trenches on New Year’s Day in 1915. He was medically evacuated back to England. At a dinner party shortly after his return, someone asked him what it had been like in France, to which he is supposed to have responded "Oh, my dear, the noise! …and the people!"

In 1917, he married Janette Mary Fernie Ranken (1877-1970), sister of his close friend and fellow Slade graduate William Bruce Ellis Ranken. In her biography of Thesiger's friend, Ivy Compton-Burnett, Hilary Spurling suggests that Thesiger and Janette wed largely out of their mutual adoration of William, who shaved his head when he learned of the engagement. Another source states more explicitly that Thesiger made no secret of his homosexuality. Thesiger moved in several artistic, literary and theatrical circles. At various times, he frequented the studio of John Singer Sargent, befriended Mrs. Patrick Campbell, visited and corresponded with Percy Grainger and worked closely with George Bernard Shaw, who wrote the role of the Dauphin in SAINT JOAN for him. Somerset Maugham, on the other hand, responded to Thesiger's inquiry as to why he wrote no parts for him with the quip, "But I am always writing parts for you, Ernest. The trouble is that somebody called Gladys Cooper will insist on playing them." 

Thesiger's film debut was in 1916 in THE REAL THING AT LAST, a spoof presenting MACBETH as it might be done by an American company, in which he did a drag turn as one of the Witches. Thesiger also played the First Witch in a 1941 production of MACBETH directed by John Gielgud. He performed more small roles in films during the silent era, but worked mainly on the stage. In 1925, Thesiger appeared in Noël Coward's ON WITH THE DANCE, again in drag, and later played the Dauphin in Shaw's SAINT JOAN. He wrote an autobiography “Practically True”, published in 1927, which covers his stage career. An unpublished memoir written near the end of his life is housed in the Ernest Thesiger Collection at the University of Bristol Theatre Collection. When he appeared in a Christmas production of THE MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR in 1919, Thesiger met and befriended James Whale. After Whale had moved to Hollywood and found success with the films JOURNEY'S END (1930) and FRANKENSTEIN (1931), the director was commissioned to direct the screen adaptation of J. B. Priestley's Benighted as THE OLD DARK HOUSE (1932), starring Charles Laughton in his first American film, together with Boris Karloff and Raymond Massey. Whale immediately cast Thesiger in the film as Horace Femm (!) launching his Hollywood career. The following year Thesiger appeared (as a Scottish butler) with Karloff in a British film THE GHOUL.

When Whale agreed to direct BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN in 1935, he insisted on casting Thesiger as Dr. Septimus Pretorius, instead of the studio's choice of Claude Rains. Partly inspired by Mary Shelley's friend John Polidori and largely based on the Renaissance physician and botanist Paracelsus, it became Thesiger's most famous role, in which he gives a fey, flamboyant performance as Baron Frankenstein's mentor.

Arriving in the United States for the filming of BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN, Thesiger immediately set up a display in his hotel suite of all his needlework, each with a price tag, and during the making of the film he would work on needlework, one of his hobbies.

Originally cast to play the luddite sculptor Theotocopolous in H.G. Wells's THINGS TO COME (1936), Thesiger's performance was deemed unsuitable by the author, and so was replaced by Cedric Hardwicke, although he was retained on the parallel production of Wells's THE MAN WHO COULD WORK MIRACLES. Around this same time Thesiger published a book, “Adventures in Embroidery”, about needlework, which was his expert hobby. The remainder of Thesiger's career was centered on the theatrical stage, though he did appear in supporting roles in films produced in Britain, prominent among which is the 1945 CAESAR AND CLEOPATRA with Vivien Leigh and Claude Rains, and THE MAN IN THE WHITE SUIT (1951), starring Alec Guinness. He plays "Sir John," the most powerful, the richest, and the oldest of the industrialists (jointly with the trade unions) trying to suppress Guinness's invention of a fabric that never wears out and never gets dirty. In 1953, he appeared as the Roman Emperor Tiberius in THE ROBE, starring Richard Burton, Jean Simmons, and Victor Mature.

Thesiger made several appearances on Broadway, notably as Jacques to Katharine Hepburn's Rosalind in 1950 in the longest-running production of AS YOU LIKE IT ever produced on Broadway. Later films included THE HORSE'S MOUTH (1958) with Alec Guinness, SONS AND LOVERS (1960), and THE ROMAN SPRING OF MRS. STONE, with Vivien Leigh and Warren Beatty (1961). That same year he made his final stage appearance—a mere week before his death—in THE LAST JOKE, with John Gielgud and Ralph Richardson.

In 1960, Thesiger was awarded the Commander of the Order of the British Empire (CBE). His last film appearance was a small role in THE ROMAN SPRING OF MRS. STONE (1962). Shortly after completing it, Thesiger died in his sleep from natural causes on the eve of his 82nd birthday, and is buried in Brompton Cemetery, London.

In the fictionalized James Whale biopic GODS AND MONSTERS (1998), Thesiger was portrayed by Arthur Dignam. And the real Thesiger is seen in the film when Brendan Fraser, as Whale's gardener, sits at a bar watching televised repeats of the original 1935 BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN.

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

Sybil’s Tales & Tails: Oscar on a snowy morning....

Oscar always was the first one to be ready on a snowy morning for box-sledding... he liked the snow to be absolutely perfect before all the other kitties had messed it up!... But then he liked everything to be "just so". His water bowl, his treats, his ear fur, his pillow, his toys, his kitty collar, even his fresh kills. "A kitty should be surrounded by perfection... why do you think they call it PURRRING?" was his motto, and he'd wink!.... and on a sparkling, silent morning like this, with the whole world still curled up asleep in their beds, everything, EVERYTHING was just that!... perfect.

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

For Mother's Day... From My Merry Memoirs: "My Sister, My Mother... It's All Downhill!”

          Did I ever tell you about the Winter of 1888 when my family had the most enchanting row house in Gramercy Park? Ah, blinding days filled with bright, white, glinting light on the brittle drifts that, by the second day, were climbing to the sills of the second story windows in that memorable blizzard. As children we of course were innocently unaware of the concern all the adults around us were feeling! My mother (a very difficult though brilliant woman as many of you who know my story remember) tried her best to keep the entire household cheerful and engaged, even the servants and merchant men who struggled to make deliveries. She was notoriously intriguing to outsiders and always amusing, witty, and ready to chat with everyone who came into her presence, and most especially during emergencies, weather catastrophes, natural disasters, or events involving fire, explosions, gunfire, or kitchen mishaps. ... especially with lemon-zesters. 

         She thrived on tragedy and how lovely and even amusingly she would present herself to "rescue" the unfortunate from their woes.... or life-threatening injuries. My sister (my identical twin-sister, Dagmar) and I were in thrall to her at that young age. We hadn’t discovered or perhaps surrendered to the grim and often frightening truth of her multi-sided presence in everyone’s life… I suppose that later she would be described as a classic narcissist, although later in the 1920s my bridge partner Sigmund Freud was convinced she was a true sociopath… but with very good table manners. Through the 1930s, Sigmund and I would accompany the gardener on his rounds in the flower beds digging around for her possible victims while pretending to plant bulbs, while she smiled placidly from the study windows sipping her Earl Grey tea… the tea we regularly medicated with opiates…or peyote.

          Anyway, that wasn’t the point of this little memoir-ette. This photo fell out of one of my childhood books in the attic while I was rooting around… It was taken by a young man named Alfred Stieglitz who was just beginning to take up photography as his career as a circus contortionist fizzled. At that time, there were still way too many veterans from the Civil War only twenty-odd years earlier who had sustained appalling injuries, and the public’s taste had begun to wane for men folded into strange shapes and making odd faces…. Even scantily clad men with calliope music blaring and oompah-pah-ing in the background. Alfred was another one of those handsome young men-about-town who was enamoured with my mother, and he often dropped by for dinner parties, artistic “salon discussions”, and games of chance with celebrities and eccentrics of all stripes. My mother encouraged both his contortionism and his new interest in photography…. The contortionism again because she was secretly bemused by disaster, and the photography because she famously “could never take a bad picture”! In fact, she deliberately made the most hideous faces and even drooled which caused either great merriment or consternation among the photographers for which she posed. And then, the great mystery! Her image on the photo plates (or the tintypes when she was a young girl!) would always be sublime, almost dreamy. Her bone structure or….whatever… was unassailable. Even the back of her head was something to admire, envy, and perhaps fall in love with… Needless to say, it was infuriating to be the daughter of such a creature!

           Ooops! Well there I go again… this memoir-ette was supposed to be about that particular blizzard of 1888, and I’ve been derailed into details about my mother… Sigmund (Freud) said that the power of narcissist/sociopaths was that all conversations eventually revolved around them, even when they weren’t in the room. Even when they were dead. And had been dead for decades… they are always pulling focus..or more accurately, gravity. Yes. Like black-holes in galaxies, they suck all the energy out of everything around them, and even when light can’t escape their pull, they somehow are “radiant”...or at least make it impossible for the rest of us to look away. Medusa was supposedly like that; so fascinatingly ugly that her victims couldn’t look away, and then they were destroyed. My mother was sort of the same, but a Medusa in reverse... so fascinatingly charming that her victims couldn’t look away… and then they were destroyed. …well, at least some of us…

          Damn shit! I did it again. My mother! My mother! My mother!.... sadly, everything that I consider my best qualities is her legacy to me. She bequeathed me my curiosity, my eager intellect, my ability to make people laugh, my nimble wit, even my delight in thunderstorms…and yes, the more extreme places and experiences of life. She fed me caviar, beluga, osetra, and sevruga and taught me the difference between them. I was three. She introduced me to both black and white truffles, and we went hunting for them with a pair of lovely pigs on my 5th birthday! I adored Yugoslavian garlic, Chilean sea bass, Montenegrin sea urchins, Monegasque saffron, Madagascar and Tahitian vanilla, Florentine osso buco with marrow, Japanese Matsutake mushrooms, and rare black watermelon from Hokkaido…I was even chosen as the little pixie mascot for the Veuve Clicqout Champagne Company on all their posters. The Gerber baby be damned!...speaking of which, my sister Dagmar was the original Gerber baby… well, not the actual Gerber baby! Long before Gerber ever strained their apple sauce or mashed their peas, the Honeycott Bouncy-Babe Corporation had made their sixty-four different delectable treats for newborns and toddlers starting fifty years earlier, but that’s another story for another time.

            And don’t worry, I’m not going to bring up my mother again, well, not quite… You see, this old photo that Alfred (Uncle Alfie!) Stieglitz took was in Central Park during the blizzard of 1888, just below the Dakota Apartment building, that amusingly grim pile of Victorian and Gothic brick and stone. And there I am on the left on my sled and slightly behind Dagmar who is on hers looking down at the snow with a somewhat grim determination on her face. And THAT is the purpose of this little story. You see, my poor twin sister inherited a totally different perspective on our mother...and indeed, on our whole upbringing. Though only seven minutes younger than I, she was consumed with… well, I won’t say a vengeful spirit, but certainly a competitive edge that permeated everything that we did. I sat up first, but she crawled first. I walked first but she ran first. I tangoed, waltzed, cha-cha-d, paso doble-d, and merengue-d first…and she could do…um... bird-calls. Oh well. The photo shows us sledding down the hill, some of our family’s servants in the background. The little girl behind us all bundled up on her sled is three year old Trudy Fairbunkle who of course grew up to be the infamous “Trudy the Truncheon Murderer” of the 1920s. You remember, she was never caught… but may have been thrown into Mt. Agung, the huge volcano in Bali because the natives thought she was too beautiful not to be sacrificed to their  fertility god Basah Bergoyang-Goyang. Apparently, she did put up a fight…before she ..um…”joined her husband”…

           Back to the photo, on the right the three boys are, from back to front, Kip Pearny in the derby, cheering (or haranguing) poor Dagmar on. He had bet his week’s wages as an apprentice to a barrel-maker on her winning. Then standing to the right of him is Evelyn Prescott, who wandered back and forth from being a boy to a girl again and again, baffling his/her parents, and intriguing all of Fifth Avenue society for the next several decades…especially when she became an aviator (aviatrix?) and flew an emerald green Sopwith Camel to cocktail parties all over Europe. Oh, and the last boy in the front there on the right is, of course, Charles Foster Kane… with his “Rosebud”… and we all know how that turned out. He’s screaming something at me about Dagmar, and I believe it was, “Don’t let that little bitch beat you, Sybil!”… but I did. I did let her.

          You see, it meant so much more to her. I picked and chose my battles as the years went by, and, as much as I could when fate didn’t intervene too aggressively, I chose my victories. I wasn’t always successful. Even when I tried my hardest, I didn’t always win. But this one winter day, with the snow and the cold, I looked at Dagmar, my identical twin, racing ahead and wondered if I was to bring her joy, and celebrate her triumphs, well, maybe she might NOT end up like Mother; compelled and compelling, infuriated and infuriating, maddened, maddening, and probably “mad” as the Victorians called it…. quite mad.

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

Sybil's "WONDERFUL WORLD of TOMORROW!"..... Wonder #112… The “Do-It-All Pal”…

Hello Friends! (...and I use that term loosely!) Did you know that scientists and engineers are working around the clock to improve YOUR lives in the future? Well, they ARE! And here’s a case in point… Professor Zellner Baffin of the Happy, Healthy & Hygienic Homemakers Institute has finally perfected his “Do-It-All Pal”…. A device that can walk, talk, cook, clean, and do every chore in the house!... even drive a car and help your children with their homework!! And tuck them in at night! Can you imagine? 

Trial testing was carried out in the most scientific and thorough methods and under the most extreme conditions too! Zellner’s Pal was able to serve an eight course meal for twenty guests including hors d'oeuvres and aperitifs, and two amuse-bouche palate cleansers, all with accompanying wines and champagnes…and in a subzero igloo. It was able to wash 84 windows inside and out of a speeding bullet-train traveling at 120 mph from Akron to Toledo… in just 17 minutes.

Everything about the new Pal was perfection, except for one thing. The Conservative Ladies Review Board for Higher Proclivity and Purpose withheld its approval rating for a couple of factors. After examining the device in their laboratories and interrogation rooms over a stressful weekend, they were unable to determine the gender of the machine. Its anatomical features baffled and vexed them. Was it male or female? Although large and fairly blocky, the presence of…(ahem)..nipples on the front threw many of the women into a fit. Was the Pal in fact a female, rolling around the American home, driving a car, weeding the garden on its hands and knees, (and perhaps even learning to smoke on its time off!) going to be a temptation to the husbands of America as a …”Sexual Plaything”? Even when Chairwoman Dolores Kanque pointed out to the board that men too have nipples, and that shouldn’t be the only criteria, their was still consternation at the fact that “the groin area made no definite statement about gender or reproductive capabilities, and by thus being vague, it may conjure misapprehensions among small children, inappropriate fantasies among pubescent persons, and unnecessary touching or exploring by adults and the whimsically elderly”. 

Professor Baffin was summoned before Kanque and the entire board to answer any and all charges. He quickly flattered the board on its perspicacity and tried to allay their fears. First of all, those were not nipples, but rather headlights to allow the Pal to vacuum late at night or to wax linoleum floors without running over the cat or the afore-mentioned whimsically elderly who are often milling about kitchens in the wee hours…often on hands and knees. Secondly, and here he demonstrated, the entire so-called “groin areas” of the machine were both the suction and exhaust ducts; the front was the source for the retractable hose which allowed for the all-powerful vacuuming and many convenient attachments. And the rear groin area was the exhaust which allowed, as the brochure claimed, “for m’lady to rest her freshly washed and set hair in the comfortable double cushion and have her coiffure dried in 10 breezy minutes”! Everyone agreed totally that both features were fundamental and considered by all to be the height of modern technology. Several of the ladies were embarrassed that they had even mentioned topics like nipples and groin areas, and apologized on the spot for any misunderstandings. Indeed, many of their fellow-board members later at the luncheon looked disapprovingly at them and said things like, “Really Millicent, you’d think you were raised as a Hootchy-Kootch in a Burlesque Palace”, or “My gracious, Gladys! I’m surprised you even THINK about nipples! Stop it at once. If not for your own sake then for your children’s…and any house pet’s!”. 

Zellner, who was asked at the last minute to be the honored and impromptu guest-speaker at the luncheon, was later sent on his way with the Pal and a 100% approval rating, the first ever given by The Conservative Ladies Review Board for Higher Proclivity and Purpose! Manufacture began almost immediately, and sales were brisk and nationwide!…. It wasn’t until the Murphreesboro Temple of the Knights of Jonah began making inquiries as to the race of the Pal that things got so complicated. Well, the race of the Pal, and whether that hook on the left wrist indicated that it was a war veteran… or a pirate…. And that’s when everything went so tragically downhill….. so very tragically…

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]