Sybil Bruncheon's "Tales From Christmases Past"... Little Bethena Wilkers...

Little Bethena Wilkers!... she had always been at odds with other little girls in the Sister Stephanata Bryerly School that she attended. Instead of classes in cooking, sewing, and home-making, she preferred mathematics, geo-sciences, and physics.... indeed, it was only because her grades were so consistently excellent that the faculty voted unanimously to allow her to take both advanced classes in the subjects she preferred and that she be allowed (chaperoned, of course!) to go to the adjoining St. Athanaseus Boys Academy for them since most of these subjects were not even offered to girls at that time.... 

Bethena thrilled (in her family's case) and confounded (in the boys' case) with her academic brilliance. She completed trigonometry, algebra, geometry, and advanced calculus all by the time she was 11, and she received statewide accolades at science fair competitions with her highly controversial inventions and displays... including on that one particular Christmas in 1930. 

She had decided to create, in honor of her hardworking mother, the Fully-Portable Happy Holiday Home-Maker, a device which allowed "the modern woman to create all the cheer and festivity of the Christmas Season while still maintaining a hygienic home and providing delicious and nutritious meals" as the promotional brochure stated...and it worked! It was a little itchy, especially under the arms, and the zipper placement still had to be finessed, but the blueberry muffins came out of the built-in oven/dishwasher perfectly with the lovely crusted sugar sprinkles on top and the requisite 26 blueberries in each muffin. And the refrigerating unit neither over-chilled the grapefruit juice into slush, nor under-froze the cranberry-papaya sherbet into goop.The washer/dryer/six-burner stove was inspired, and the fold-away formica counters were immaculate and didn't interfere with the vacuum or silver-polishing attachments. The placement of the appliances around the body of the wearer was still in need of some strategizing, but the Christmas lights twinkled merrily, the garlands of popcorn came out of the popper perfectly, and the ornaments remained on their hooks without dropping even when the roller-skate motor was throttled up to full speed...three miles per hour....and faster if you were doing a triple axel, triple toe loop. The one setback was when some tinsel drooped into one of the roller wheels, and little Bethena tripped and spilled the Baked Alaska onto the reviewers' table. "Flammable Foods" had been one of the strictest precautions that the exhibition managers had warned about, (especially after the demonstration about baked beans and hydrogen-filled zeppelins the year before!), but the ever-prepared Bethena saved the day, AND the Baked Alaska! Just under her Christmas star, she had concealed a fire extinguisher/water sprinkler system which not only knocked out the flames, but also provided a chilly blast of CO₂ "snow" to make everyone feel the Christmasy spirit to the max! Clever little Bethena not only received the blue ribbon in her category, "Sciences: Sweet & Savory" but also Best In Show... and a contract with the nice people over at Frigidaire.

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