Sybil Bruncheon's "We've Got a Nose for News!!"...

… from the White House. Donald Trump, in a fit of despondency over growing scandals, reports of criminal activities, possible charges of treason, and both a failing presidency and marriage, was just sighted blowing his brains out in the oval office. Medical personnel were on hand immediately but tragically they could not restore all of his brain matter either from his index finger or from under the edge of the desk where apparently he had been hiding much of it over the last few months. Details at 6. Kleenex at 11.

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