Sybil Bruncheon's "MY MERRY MEMOIRS"... or maybe Dagmar's...

With many thanks to my friend Jonathan Boorstein for finding this old photo: That's my identical twin, Dagmar, who entered a skiing competition in Vroče Žemljice, the famous and glamorous resort in Slovenia. Drugged and drunk as usual, she got on the wrong train and overnighted South into Italy to Venice!! The one thing I can say about my sister is that she never sulks... she's unsinkable much like Mummie... we got that quality from our Mother, deranged as she was.. Anyway, Dagmar challenged all the local gondoliers to a race and managed to... um... "water-ski" her way around the canals and win an impromptu marathon against twelve of the burliest gondola-guys. Peggy Guggenheim's mansion happened to be the finish line, and she invited everyone in for an extended weekend of "dining and debauchery" as she called it... I DO remember Dagmar's outfit in this photo along with various striped shirts, trousers, and... ahem... "underthings" floating in the canal in front of Peggy's the next morning. A side note; Peggy didn't have a trophy she could give Dagmar so she gave her a small Picasso of one of his wives looking like a guitar with both eyes on one side of her face and screaming about something. It was gorgeous!... Can you blame me for stealing it from Dagmar's guest bathroom a week later?? Can you???

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Sybil Bruncheon's "Hysterical Histories On This Date - November 17th!"...

... in 1479 - Florence, Italy... Domenica Fibrilligi, the Contessa of Sfogliatelle...

Never a particularly attractive young girl, poor Domenica wanted to be desired like so many of her classmates in the Little Sisters of St. Brutina Academy for Privileged Ladies. Domenica was not even considered prettier than her brothers who were known for their broken noses and cauliflower ears from too many years of roustabouting with the Capulets and Montagues from neighboring towns... (or with farm animals who resisted amorous invitations on Saturday nights!) Interestingly, when Domenica was asked by the family physician if she would want to go to a great surgeon of international renown to have something... ANYTHING changed about her appearance...

...the first words out of her mouth were, "MY BREASTS ARE TOO SMALL!"...

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