...concerning Facebook FRIEND REQUESTS (part 2):

(Sybil photo by Jack D. Pedota. Styled by Susan Suka Taylor)

.... Hey Folks!! Do you get swamped with "friend requests" every day?.... I do. As much as a dozen or so every day!...but I have started checking them carefully before I just click them on through. Here are some of the weirder things I've noticed;

1) I get them from strange little postage stamp countries where I have no "mutual friends", and the countries' main income is from actually making postage stamps for collectors although the countries themselves have NO mail boxes...nor indeed any mail SERVICE! (By the way; what ARE stamp collectors called? Fatalists? Fellationists?... whatever...)

2) The friend requests come from people whose names are anagrams for things like Stan Areasa Smith / "Satan is a Hamster", Pasco "Popo" De Le Ischoloti / "Poop is spoiled chocolate", and Beatrisea van Humbold-Wheehoushe / "I have a thumb where a nose should be ".....that sort of stuff. Usually, I assume these are not real names... (but I could be wrong!)

3) Many friend requests come from people who raise their own food....either as pets... or as husbands....or both. I check their photos... for possible recipes...

4) Their notes to me include pleasantries like "Hello, Dearest. I have a bone through my nose, but it looks like a thumb.... Do you have a bone through something?...or would you like to???"

5) There are also the “Hello, Dearest! My name is Cynthia Gladiolus Mtmbeke. I am from Nigeria, and you have won three bazillion dollars"…. Enough said, right?

6) Many of these friend requests are from prisons where people already have many, many friends.... most of whom are far more interesting and well-connected than I am… in or out of prison… and with or without knives and/or the right drugs.

7) Some of these friend requests are from people that I actually dated back in the 60s and 70s... and who might have paid me... True, some of them are asking for refunds. I reject them immediately...and block them.

8) Many friend requests come in the form of the new Facebook apps that allow people to write in ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs or in Babylonian cuneiform.... I don't like to be friends with folks I can't chat with .... well...unless they're paying me... even if they were pharaohs in former lives.

9) I have trouble being Facebook friends with people who send me photos of them as; a) Rock Hudson in his 20s, b) John Gavin in his 20s, c) George Clooney in his 20s, d) Donald Trump in his underpants.   (I am neither stupid… nor do I have a strong stomach.)

10) I will absolutely not accept friend requests from child or animal abusers... I will also not accept friends who have used Mr. Potato Head kits on innocent fruits and vegetables lured into grocery baskets at roadside stands, usually with the promise of candy or afternoons at a local movie house.

I don't think I'm being unfair or unreasonable in these parameters…John Gavin in his 20s in a pair of underpants? Yes, that’s something I could make sacrifices for! But short of that?... a girl DOES have to have her standards.

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Sybil Bruncheon's "ADS THAT FAILED!"... That's Show Bzzzz....

Sybil Bruncheon's "ADS THAT FAILED!"... Boys and girls! Did you know that many of the products and services that we use and love every day almost went out of business because of poor advertising? Well, it's true! Here's one! The first commercial for the Lady Norelco Razor!

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Sybil Bruncheon’s "Manners Are Nice #34"… Penny Sanders - A Charming Tale at 30,000 feet...

Penny Sanders was voted “Most Eager Girl” in Whitmer High School on Toledo. She had joined so many clubs, had been first alto sax in both the school orchestra and the marching band, had been a cheerleader and on the student council every year, and was the head of the yearbook committee, the newspaper, and the prom decorating team. Cotillions, parade floats, holiday displays, and the school landscaping project all depended on Penny’s presence, opinions, and hands-on labor. She was so busy with all of her activities that there was never any time to really date boys… or even interact with them other than on committees over donuts and hot chocolate… and perhaps that had been convenient.

Though sweetly pretty in a wholesome way, she never could (nor would want to!) compete with her friend Giselle Pomerou. Giselle was tall, blonde, and extremely curvaceous, “like a movie star” Penny would always brag to her friends. When she entered a room, all eyes would go right to her; some with envy, some with admiration, and some with open desire, even lurid longing, poorly disguised. Giselle was the true meaning of “statuesque” and so stylish too; she could wear the simplest cocoa brown knit dress and again look “like a movie star”. Penny would study Giselle’s clothes carefully… was it the bias cut and the “hand” of the fabric, the scoop neckline and casually rolled up sleeves, the fit and flair silhouette, or the hemline, just low enough to brush her perfect knees but high enough to let them peek as she walked down the aisle at graduation. It was a simple brown dress (with a Peter Pan collar no-less!) and now here she was wearing that same dress again five years later as she walked down the aisle to first-class while she and Penny took a reunion flight to Paris. If anything, Giselle had grown into a breathtaking beauty over the interval since high school and then college, co-majoring in fashion design and journalism. And here she was with her old pal, Penny, who had co-majored in political science and journalism, and even fit a masters degree in the few years too. They had kept in touch, and decided that they should take a vacation together and splurge!…what better spot than Paris, and in the Spring. They both had “connections” and could see the new couture collections and even afford to go shopping… within reason.

When they met at the Idlewild airport with their luggage, Giselle from Chicago with her Louis Vuitton and Penny from Greenwich Village with her grandmother’s hand-me-down American Tourister, the joyous hugs and shrieks of delight echoed through the waiting area of gate 14 for Panam flight 108. Both girls had been to Paris before, but separately, and under different circumstances. And once Giselle had stepped back to give Penny a good look up and down, she shook her head sadly but smiling. “Oh, Penny! That dress! That collar! Darling, we have GOT to buy you some new clothes when we get to Paris! Good Heavens, you’re out of school now! You’ve got to dress for your success! And you ARE a success now!”

Penny blushed deeply, and was mortified, but when she looked at herself in the reflection of one of the windows, she saw as if for the first time how awkward she was… and how awkward she had probably always been. Her black dress was rendered ridiculous by that oversized collar, pointed white triangles accented by chrome yellow trim nearly as wide as her shoulders and framing her face like a clown. Even though the fit was perfect over her still petite figure, she looked like a clown! A CLOWN!..and all she could see was that ridiculous collar and her face floating in the middle of it like a circus poster. Giselle could see the hurt in her eyes and quickly took her back into her arms with a hearty laugh and a reassuring squeeze. “Don’t despair, Penny, my girl! We’ll come back to New York with you looking like a magazine cover!”, and somehow, Penny knew Giselle could do it too.

And now, here they were, sitting in luxurious first class; Giselle, stylish as a magazine cover in her five year old brown knit and Penny in her clown-dress that she had just bought two days before for this special occasion…ah well. The girls talked and talked, sharing stories that they had only hinted at in long distance phone conversations (too expensive and only on holidays!) or in letters (originally weekly, but increasingly inconvenient, and finally only sporadic!). They laughed and cried and laughed again while crying as they flew high over the Atlantic into the evening sky. Dinner was served, and, being first class on Panam, the food was delectable. As course after course was offered, they both chuckled at what all those calories might do to their girlish figures. But then there was another round of compliments; to Giselle on her stellar finesse and statuesque beauty, and to Penny on her petite figure, sharp and compact like a sparrow.

It was at that exact moment when the strange thing happened. Penny was holding up her hands noting how tiny they were. She could wear her grandmother’s rings with no problem at all… and she happened to look over at the stewardess as she served the coffee and French pastries. She was handling the cups and saucers, the plates and silverware so gracefully… but her hands! HER HANDS! They were… huge! And huge like a man’s hands! “Look at them”, she thought. “Giselle! LOOK AT THE STEWARDESS’ HANDS!”… she was almost frightened! NO! She WAS frightened. TERRIFIED! The hands were not only big and masculine. They were rough and weathered and… wrong. Bad hands. Hands that might do bad things. But Penny had been raised to have good manners. It would be so impolite to say anything…even to whisper it to Giselle when the stewardess had passed. Penny was never rude. Ever. But she raked her eyes up and down the stewardess’ perfect hair and make-up, her lovely smiling face, her perfectly tailored uniform and cap, and her gorgeous figure and those long glorious legs. But the hands! She couldn’t hear the words coming out of that smiling face offering her cream and sugar, the Napoleon or the éclair. All the words were rumbling echoes, and she thought she might faint… or be sick, or both. “My manners”, she thought. “My manners! Am I staring? I shouldn’t stare because that’s not polite!” Finally she smiled wanly and mumbled a thank-you for what ever the last choice she had been offered. Giselle looked over, puzzled but smiling, and chuckled a simple tossed-off apology to the stewardess saying that Penny wasn’t used to flying and was a little disoriented. Both of the women chatted and laughed, again undecipherable to Penny in the echoing roar and rumble, and, as Giselle reached for her own coffee… the hands! NO! THE HANDS!... huge and horrifying… even more terrifying than before!… And they were GISELLE’S HANDS! Giselle had man-hands too! Bad, man’s hands! That might do anything… and maybe HAD!... What was happening? What was happening?!?... “But it’s not polite to scream! I mustn’t scream!”…

…and it was at that point that Penny, poor sweet, sparrow-like Penny Sanders looked down the aisle of her Paris-bound Panam jet, and saw the handsome man, clean-cut and smoking his cigarette,  his perfect suit over his knife-slim figure, calmly talking about her, and the plane, and the fact that it wouldn’t be going to Paris after all. That it was never going to Paris to begin with… that it was going to a place… called… the Twilight Zone.

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With an "A" or an "O".....

Now, Boys and Girls...We spell Capitol with an "O" when it's a building. And we spell capital with an "A" when it's for anything else; money for investments, the words "Wall Street", capitalized letters in legal documents or government bills, and as in capitals of states. The "O" in capitol is easy to remember because it's shaped like the dome, like the Capitol Building in Washington DC.... and it's easy to remember the "A" because it's the first letter in AS*HOLES, and....oh, um.... forget it. Spell it any way ya damn please. I'm going out for a smoke...

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Sybil Bruncheon's "ADS THAT FAILED!"... (part 1)...

Boys and girls! Did you know that many of the products and services that we use and love every day almost went out of business because of poor advertising? Well, it's true! Here are some company ads that failed; (clockwise from top left)                                                                                    
1) Walmart Vision Center
2) Symbicort
3) Wet Ones
4) Air France
5) Johnson's Baby Shampoo
6) Cadbury Chocolates

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Sybil Bruncheon's "ADS THAT FAILED!"... (part 2)...

Boys and girls! Did you know that many of the products and services that we use and love every day almost went out of business because of poor advertising? Well, it's true! Here are some company ads that failed; (clockwise from top left)                   
1) Samsung Galaxy #2
2) Leggs
3) SlimFast
4) Christian Mingle
5) Summer's Eve
6) Viberzi

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Sybil Bruncheon's "ADS THAT FAILED!"... (part 3)...

Boys and girls! Did you know that many of the products and services that we use and love every day almost went out of business because of poor advertising? Well, it's true! Here are some company ads that failed; (clockwise from top left)                      
1) Frank Perdue
2) Snuggle Fabric Softener
3) Klondike Bars
4) Beano
5) L'Oréal Dry Shampoo‎ 
6) KFC

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...from Sybil Bruncheon's "EASTER EGGS-traordinaries"... EASTER / The morning-after!... Doctor! OH, DOCTOR!

"Oof curse, you air feelink dejaicted! Whoo cahn blame you? You pro-wide dee treats, und de kahndees, und de mairsh-mahlow-how-do-you-say-PEEEPS, und de plahsteek grahss, und de hideous aigs, und de stoopid bahskette, und de choc-laht tings, und de cahndy canes... whatever!... und de cheeldren screeeeming and crying weesh to pet you und den throw you aside for a duck...or a chicken... or dare Mommy?!?!... You air a mahs of neurosees and ahpreehansions! BUT! Vee vill get to dee bottom of all ob eet... beginning with your own Musser and habbing to share herr weeth 816 siblings....!!!"

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...from Sybil Bruncheon's "EASTER EGGS-traordinaries"... Mr. Toe-zy and "the Easter Bunny"...(or Bad Kitty! VERY BAD KITTY!)

Easter Morning, 1929 – Fair Harbor, Fire Island: Mrs. Enid Wellfellow of Nettle-Knee Walk discovered her beloved cat Mr. Toe-zy disguised as "the Easter Bunny", presumably either to frighten the children and eat their treats, or perhaps to lure the actual Easter Bunny into "marital relations" and possibly to later kill and even eat him....

The local constable was called, along with various burly workmen from the neighborhood, and Mr. Toe-zy was thoroughly scolded and told “to get down off the dining room table this instant!”.... he did so, with a yawn, but not before snagging an antique crocheted doily and dragging the entire condiment tray with its cut glass bottles to the parquet floor with a crash. There was much shouting and poorly concealed laughter, but Mr. Toe-zy refused to remove his Bunny costume….well… until mid-August….. “because it finally got too itchy”, he told the reporter from the Patchogue Post.

(postscript: Interestingly, the Easter Bunny never was seen again in Fair Harbor, “just plain old rabbits, and who gives a damn about them”, Mr. Toe-zy was later quoted.)

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A New Sybil's "WHO'Z DAT?"... ARTHUR O'CONNELL (March 29, 1908 - May 18, 1981)

Darlings! Mummy has made a decision! After reading dozens of posts and having hundreds of conversations with well-meaning folks who just don't know about the great CHARACTER actors who gave films the depth and genius that surrounded and supported the so-called "stars", I am going to post a regular, special entry called SYBIL'S "WHO'Z DAT??"....there'll be photos and a mini-bio, and the next time you see one of those familiar, fabulous faces that you just "can't quite place".......well, maybe these posts will help. Some of these actors worked more, had longer and broader careers, and ended up happier, more loved, and even wealthier than the "stars" that the public "worships"......I think there may be a metaphor in that! What do you think??? And while you’re considering it, here’s a face and voice that  embody all the warmth and heart that any character actor could hope for. He definitely was one of those people that passers-by might snap their fingers at and have trouble recalling the name, but they’d never forget how he made them feel in his film roles. It’s Arthur O’Connell (March 29, 1908 - May 18, 1981).

Arthur Joseph O'Connell (March 29, 1908 – May 18, 1981) was an American stage and film actor. He was born on March 29, 1908 in Manhattan, New York, and made his legitimate stage debut in the middle 1930s, at which time he fell within the orbit of Orson Welles' Mercury Theatre. Welles cast O'Connell in the tiny role of a reporter in the closing scenes of CITIZEN KANE (1941), a film often referred to as O'Connell's film debut, though in fact he had already appeared in FRESHMAN YEAR (1938) and had costarred in two Leon Errol short subjects as Leon's conniving brother-in-law.

After numerous small movie parts, O'Connell returned to Broadway, where he appeared as the erstwhile middle-aged swain of a spinsterish schoolteacher in the Pulitzer Prize winning PICNIC by William Inge, a role he would recreate in the 1956 film version opposite Rosalind Russell, directed by Joshua Logan, and co-starring William Holden and Kim Novak. He earned a nomination for the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor in the process. O’Connell’s reliability as a steady character actor resulted in his constant work with great directors and stars including BUS STOP (1956) also written by William Inge and directed by Joshua Logan and starring Marilyn Monroe. Later the jaded looking O'Connell was frequently cast as fortyish losers and alcoholics; in the latter capacity he appeared as James Stewart's boozy attorney-mentor in ANATOMY OF A MURDER (1959) co-starring George C. Scott and Ben Gazzara and directed by Otto Preminger, and the result was another Oscar nomination for Best Supporting Actor.

In 1959, O'Connell also played the part of Chief Petty Officer Sam Tostin, engine room chief of the fictional World War II submarine USS Sea Tiger, opposite Cary Grant and Tony Curtis in OPERATION PETTICOAT. In 1961, O'Connell played the role of Grandpa Clarence Beebe in the children's film classic MISTY, the screen adaptation of Marguerite Henry's story of “Misty of Chincoteague”. He appeared with Glenn Ford, Bette Davis, Thomas Mitchell, Ann-Margret, and the all-star cast of POCKETFUL OF MIRACLES (1961) directed by Frank Capra. In 1962, he portrayed the father of Elvis Presley's character in the motion picture FOLLOW THAT DREAM, and in 1964 in the Presley-picture KISSIN' COUSINS. In that same year O'Connell was in YOUR CHEATIN’ HEART (1964), the Hank Williams story starring George Hamilton and directed by Gene Nelson; and in THE 7 FACES OF DR. LAO, he portrayed the idealist-turned-antagonist Clint Stark, which has become a cult classic, and in which O'Connell's is the only character other than star Tony Randall to appear as one of the "7 faces."

O'Connell continued appearing in choice character parts on both television and films during the 1960s, but avoided a regular television series, holding out until he could be assured top billing. He appeared as Matt Dexter, an aging Irish drifter in the episode "Songs My Mother Told Me" (February 21, 1961) on ABC's STAGECOACH WEST series, and on Christmas Day, 1962, O'Connell was cast as Clayton Dodd in the episode "Green, Green Hills" of NBC's modern western series, EMPIRE, starring Richard Egan as the rancher Jim Redigo. This episode also features Dayton Lummis as Jason Simms and Joanna Moore as Althea Dodd.

In 1964, O'Connell played Joseph Baylor in the episode "A Little Anger Is a Good Thing" on the ABC medical drama about psychiatry, BREAKING POINT, starring Paul Richards. In 1966, he guest-starred as a scientist who regretfully realized that he has created an all-powerful android in the VOYAGE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA episode titled "The Mechanical Man." In the February 1967 episode "Never Look Back" of the TV series LASSIE, he played Luther Jennings, an elderly ranger manning the survey tower at Strawberry Peak, who takes it hard when he finds he'll lose his job when the tower is slated for destruction.

O'Connell accepted the part of a man who discovers that his 99-year-old father has been frozen in an iceberg on the 1967 sitcom THE SECOND HUNDRED YEARS, having assumed that he would be billed first per the producers' agreement. Instead, top billing went to newcomer Monte Markham in the dual role of O'Connell's father and his son. O'Connell accepted the demotion to second billing as well as could be expected, but he never again trusted the word of any Hollywood executive. During the span of his career, O’Connell had appeared in more than seventy-five films and television projects. By the 1970s, his work schedule had dropped to occasional but memorable roles; in THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE (1972) he played the self-sacrificing ship’s minister opposite five Academy Award winners Gene Hackman, Ernest Borgnine, Jack Albertson, Shelley Winters, and Red Buttons. He made his final film appearance in THE HIDING PLACE (1975), portraying a watch-maker who hides Jews during World War II.

Although ill health forced O'Connell to reduce his acting appearances in the middle 1970s, the actor stayed busy in commercials as a friendly pharmacist for Crest toothpaste. At the time of his death from Alzheimer's disease in California in May, 1981, O'Connell was appearing by his own choice solely in these commercials. O'Connell had been married once, in 1962, to Ann Hall Dunlop (1917–2000) of Washington, D.C. Arthur O'Connell and Ann Hall Dunlop divorced in December 1972 in Los Angeles. O'Connell is interred at Calvary Cemetery in Queens, New York.

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