Sybil Bruncheon’s “Helpful Hints for a Healthy Household”… Filthy contaminants...

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Sybil, how do I protect myself from germs, bacteria, viruses, and filthy contaminants when I'm working around my house?

Two ways:

a) Purchase and always wear a pair of rubber gloves when handling anything that might pose a health hazard to you and your family.

b) VOTE.

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Sybil Bruncheon’s “Helpful Hints for a Healthy Household”… Strange stains...

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Sybil, on laundry day, how do I eliminate clods, gunk, fetid smells, and strange stains?

Two ways:

a) Soak everything as quickly as possible in a tub of lukewarm water, baking soda, and soap... overnight if necessary. Scrub by hand with a soft tooth brush, baking soda, and a bit of salt. Then launder in hot water. You can also "spot-bleach" on whites with a Q-tip.

b) VOTE.

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Sybil Bruncheon’s “Healthy Hints for a Healthy Household”… Bits of hair...

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Sybil, when I prepare a delicious and nutritious meal for my family, how do I make sure I never find any unpleasant surprises like gristle, bones, egg shells, or bits of hair, etc.?

Two ways: a) Pay close attention, and always sift your ingredients, checking them with your fingers as you add them one by one to the recipe.

b) VOTE.

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Sybil Bruncheon’s “Helpful Hints for a Healthy Household”… Chunks of grease...

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Sybil, how do I get rid of a filthy plug of fat, hair, and chunks of grease?

Two ways: a) Run scalding water through the drain for 60 seconds. Then pour a full cup of straight ammonia into the drain and let stand for 10 minutes. Use a plunger, and follow with another minute or two of scalding water.

b) VOTE.

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Sybil Bruncheon's 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN... Guess Who Came To The Party! #17...

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The class had assembled for Halloween Day, All the students in costumes had come!

Maurice was dressed as a gay caba-yay. And Joe, as an old hobo bum.

Debbie decided she was a great movie star. And Phyllis had come as a witch.

Dean was a ghost or maybe a ghoul, He never could tell which was which.

One was a tiger, another a ham… and… um…

Sadly, no one heard the giant lizard-man-thing that came in through the back... The End.

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Sybil Bruncheon's 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN... Guess Who Came To The Party! #24...

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Gina dressed as a Burlap Queen, but her itching was really no joke! And "Sleep-Around-Francis" was drunk as a skunk and could be had for the price of a smoke!... and… um…

Mary-Ann Cavullo decided to be Clint Walker on CHEYENNE. The End.

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Sybil Bruncheon's 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN... Guess Who Came To The Party! #11…

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Stevie came as a race car driver, with goggles, a slicker, and such.

And Dee Dee there flapped about like a moth, her antennae were such a nice touch.

Suzie dressed up like an old donkey-mule or maybe an old Democrat...

and Carl... um… he came as his mother. The End.

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Sybil Bruncheon’s “Lame Comments On My Facebook Pages”... #2

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So I post stories attached to funny, odd, and startling photos, but I continue to get the most incongruous, unrelated, and tangential comments left on them... People don't actually read my writing, they just look and post the first thing that comes to mind, (often with no evidence that they have an organ that would function as a "mind"). Periodically, I dump idlers, dunces, and simpletons from my FB "friends" list for these annoying and boring infractions... or I refer them (permanently!) to my "Pictures Only" pages where they can stare, point, and even color on the computer screen with their Crayola 6-Color set... and drool... whatever.

Here is a photo which I constructed a whole story for, and here are some of the comments that were left by FB folks... Judge for yourself. (Profuse apologies if I posted YOUR comment here for public scrutiny!)…

1) I get motion-sickness especially if I ride backwards on a bus... or a horse.

2) Two things: Why is the extra fabric on my prom-gown called "a train"... and should I put a train on my favorite bell-bottom jeans?

3) I've never actually heard any train say "choo choo"... only my Aunt Delia when she sneezes... oh, and my chihuahua, Señor Frisky when he's having sex.

4) I'm afraid of flying... even on a train.

5) Do you know what stop I get off at on the Broadway Local to see Greenwich Village? I might go to NYC next year.

6) Which do you think is more exciting; a conductor on a train, or a conductor in a concert?... or a juggler?

7) Your story made me sad... I wrecked my sister's bike... about 30 years ago.

8) I saw a green caboose once... and I laughed and laughed. Also, I think the word "caboose" is rude, but it makes me laugh too.

9) I know the difference between a see-saw and a teeter-totter. But I throw up on both.

10) Honk! HONK! HONK!!!

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Sybil Bruncheon's "Diller-A-Dollar Tales For Today's Investors"...

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Becky Shrubmeyer and Helen Thikfistle prided themselves on being modern women who could take their house allowances from their husbands and not only keep their homes running but also put aside some "pin money" to play the stock market. During the day, when their housekeeping chores were done, the laundry was in their washers and dryers, and dinners were already on the stove, Becky and Helen would sit over afternoon coffee and chocolate chip cookies and clip coupons for the grocery store and check out the financial pages of the Times and the Wall Street Journal... and boy did they hit it big! So big, in fact, that they finally opened separate (and secret!) savings accounts away from their husbands' prying eyes.

Their accounts grew and grew as they bought and sold, bought and sold; stocks for mining copper in Idaho and gold in Nigeria, corn futures in Iowa and wheat in Argentina, pork bellies in Kansas and beef from Brazil... The world truly was, as the saying goes, "their oyster"! The money poured in, and their private savings accounts climbed into the six figures. Even nice Mr. Throckmorton at the brokerage would greet them by their first names and scurry over with his secretary, Miss Pynch with coffee and donuts when they might wander into the office once a month to confer about their investments. All the other brokers and their support staffs would point and whisper about "those two gals from Grandy Corners" in the mostly male world of profits and portfolios of 1957.

It all seemed ideal, didn't it? The sleek and chic 1950s unfolding in post-war abundance... until that bump in the road called the Eisenhower Recession... when all the laughter and martinis turned into screeching and tears. Yep, "the gals" had made a careless choice to invest all their money in lipstick and mascara futures in some place called Iraq. In a single weekend, their accounts were gone... all gone. And it was back to the ironing boards and jello molds with carrot shavings, Spam chunks, and mini-marshmallows... with Phil and Carl none the wiser… oh well...

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SEPTEMBER 10th, 2001…

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…An absolute END-OF-THE-WORLD thunderstorm on the night of the 10th with Hudson Street's gutters flooding from the non-stop downpour! I was trapped at the Caffe Sha Sha there at Christopher Street in Greenwich Village, and it was amazing. The towers of the World Trade Center dimly shining through the driving rain, their tops disappearing into the low rolling clouds! Flashes of lightning, deafening cracks of thunder, and a deluge...

No wonder the city sparkled the next morning. Literally sparkled. Every leaf on every tree was emerald green! Every window, every surface, every street….even the SKY was scrubbed immaculately clean, a clear cloudless turquoise... all set... for what was about to start...

Back in the early 70s, I had watched as these buildings went up on the Hudson River. They were built during a terrible time financially for the city. ...a terrible time financially, and reputationally! New York City was still reeling from the decades of "urban blight", West Side Story, Kitty Genovese, and the "I don't want to get involved" mentality. The suburbs were full of "nice people" who had given up on cities, (all cities!), and were becoming part of Nixon's so-called "silent majority".

And so, even as NYC was crumbling, and political assassinations, Viet Nam, and Watergate had corroded the national morale, we New Yorkers displayed our usual chutzpah by daring to build the "world's tallest building"!.... Not once, but TWICE! Imagine, the President of the US basically tells the city to drop dead as it nears bankruptcy, and we build the two tallest buildings in the world...right next to each other!! When New Yorkers get it right, they get it right!!.... You know when someone "gives you the finger"? Well, this was as if all of NYC had given the world TWO fingers! "Ya think we're down? Well, take THAT!"...

While so many others despaired about "how ugly they were", "how boxy", "unimaginative", "so plain", "grim", "cold", I rejoiced every time I saw them! In every season, every kind of weather, any hour of the day...or night. They were gorgeous to me!!... from the highway, flying into the city, during a snowstorm, in the fog, looking up at them, across to them from New Jersey or Brooklyn, or from the top looking down. My one regret?... that I didn't take the hundred photos that I could have over the years when the sun or the moon, the rainbow, the whatever was "just right"... Those towers never bored me. I never took them for granted. I watched as they climbed to the sky, and came alive with tenants and life.... and I watched as they died... right from my street corner in Greenwich Village... on Greenwich Street, the street that literally led right to the plaza at their feet. They will always mean so very many things to me, but one thing most of all…that New Yorkers, my fellow New Yorkers, with all their neuroses and faults, their hubris and narcissism, dared to be broke…and built two, count 'em TWO of the world's tallest buildings right there on the Hudson River…at the edge of the ocean, for the entire World to see… and stand... stunned.

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