Tour-ette from Wayne, PA. on a sunny Friday afternoon in December! 12/11/2020.

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Sybil Bruncheon's "Christmas Wishes made to the Christmas Tree!"... Willy Frank, 6 years old...

"...and Christmas tree?? ...my special secret Christmas wish is that you won't eat any more of my family and get any bigger.. oh, and one other thing!....that you won't figure out how to climb the stairs and find Debbie and me under the bathroom sink!”

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Sybil Bruncheon's Christmas Stories Far & Near:.. Gaye Ann Beeker…

Gaye Ann Beeker was the most reserved member of the Beeker family, a large, prosperous, and prominent one in the Shaker Heights area. They had made their money in the 1800s in coal, and later in natural gas, and then on to automobile parts and finance. Wise investments matched with conservative spending saved them from the vagaries of the market, even through the Crash and the Depression. The Beekers were known for their philanthropy, generous but not ostentatious, although their names did appear on hospitals, museums, schools, universities, and even several dinner theatres and petting zoos.

It was Gaye Ann who had a soft spot for the more vulnerable recipients of the family's charities, particularly wildlife and domestic animals. She had spear-headed relief for circus animals and for better and more humane zoos, and she was reported to be the secret underground leader of a group of citizens who used terror tactics on pet shops and their owners who were discovered to be abusing or neglecting animals in their care. "The Rabid Rabbits", as they were called, were presumed to be a gang of well-funded vigilantes capable, as time went by, of increasing violence. Their members were sworn to secrecy, and no infiltration ever took place from outside authorities since their dedication was so heart-felt. And besides, who would ever suspect an heiress to such a fortune as the head of a terror gang?

Of course, Gaye Ann's natural disguise helped her. She had Methuselah Syndrome, a hereditary fluke. Here she is at 11 years of age at the height of her power, looking like "a kindly middle-aged lady" or "a frumpy housewife"..but actually an assassin!....And here's her little dachshund Kiełbaso, and that's just what she's reported to have yelled to him on their midnight raids; "KEEEEL, Basso! KEEEEL! KEEEEL!!!".......

[Postscript: Though the Social Register described her as "the most reserved member of the Beeker family", she, Kielbaso, and her friends and associates continued on as a vigilante group saving animals from hateful abusers. You see she had read "The Scarlet Pimpernel", and it affected her deeply. And she turned what some might think of as a liability into a tool of triumph and vengeance. She never married, but was much loved by folks and animals far and wide. She eventually died at 18 years of age, very happy and fulfilled. Kielbaso passed away in his sleep just two days later at the age of 136.]

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A Christmas Special on PBS!!!...

...it's the famous Christmas Special, EBENEEZER & DRACULA MEET FROSTY THE ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN & THE HANUKKAH GHOUL (1962). A holiday screwball comedy-horror romp starring Rathbone, Price, Lorre, Karloff, and featuring Christopher Lee as Prancer, Peter Cushing as Mr. Potter, Lon Chaney, Jr. as Hermey the Misfit Elf, and Sabu as Tiny Tim.... with Angela Lansbury as Mrs. Santa Claus, Yvette Mimieux as Little Dorrit, Linda Hunt as the Mistletoe Monster, and Herve Villechaize as a plum pudding...ON FIRE!!. (This program is made possible by the George and Mary Bailey Very Charitable Trust… and by contributions to your PBS station from Viewers .....Like YOU! Thank You!)

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Sybil Bruncheon's Holiday Hollywood Hilarity!

"If ah told you once, ah've told you a thousand times!... FRESH NUTMEG in the egg nog! FRESH!!!! Not this Durkee's crap!"...

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Sybil Bruncheon's Holiday Hollywood Hilarity!

"Yes, the bustline DOES make me look like a Christmas Toffee, doesn't it? Would you like to …unwrap me, Mr. DeWitt?"…

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Sybil Bruncheon's Holiday Hollywood Hilarity!

"So then, Santa crept down my chimney, and tiptoed into my bedroom, and brought me all sorts of nice presents and stuff... I was 22 at the time! Is that what you'd like to do too, Mr. Fabian? Tip toe around my chimney and bring me stuff?"...

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Sybil Bruncheon's Holiday Hollywood Hilarity!

"Nonsense, Margo! You are just the right age to play Mrs. Santa Claus! …and Miss Caswell here will take over the role of the Little Christmas Pixie! Besides, the snowflake-pasties fit her much better!"...

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Sybil's Cinema... THE MALTESE FALCON (1941)...

Directed by first-time film director John Huston, starring Humphrey Bogart, Mary Astor, Peter Lorre, and, making his film debut, the dazzling Sydney Greenstreet. And in the shadows, there's Ward Bond, Barton MacLane, Elisha Cook Jr., Gladys George, and even Huston's super-star father, Walter, in a walk-on cameo. Every frame, every note of the film score, is brilliant and strangely unsettling... truly a great and possibly the most definitive "film noir".

Even Bogart's Sam Spade is off-kilter, certainly NOT a hero, or even a protagonist. Perhaps it's only Effie Perrine, Spade's secretary, played by the wonderful and truly lovely Lee Patrick (one of Hollywood's most versatile and enduring actresses!) who gives the film its "moral center". She is the least compromised, conflicted, or corrupt character. Effie is loyal to Sam, possibly in love with him (but too honorable to show it), and discerning enough to warn him at the start of the story that his back-alley machinations may eventually turn on him... and they do.

The entire story winds its way through 101 minutes of mystery peppered with rye merriment ending in a rueful surprise about both the statue of the falcon and what all the characters are willing or able to tolerate... and do. And that last line answered by Bogart to Ward Bond’s query about what the falcon is made of... has a line from Shakespeare ever been used with more existential finality... or resigned heartbreak?

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CHRISTMAS MUSIC: Guilty Pleasures & Dirty Confessions... The Andrews Sisters...

I know it's very tacky, but I start listening to the Music Choice "Sounds of the Seasons" channel on cable during Thanksgiving week.... As silly as it is to many people, I sometimes just enjoy the simple pleasure of Christmas carols to ease my mind and lower my stress.

Having said that, I can now admit both a dirty secret AND a guilty pleasure at the same time! As if it isn’t enough that they sang “Mele Kalikimaka” with Bing Crosby, the Andrews Sisters also released “How’d Ya Like To Spend Christmas On Christmas Island?”. Talk about schmaltzy! And Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians are along for the ride. Between this song and “Mele Kalikimaka” it’s as if the music industry wanted to try to rehabilitate the image of the South Pacific after the catastrophes of Pearl Harbor and World War II!... either that or Decca Records was trying to teach American farmhands geography!

Anyway, whenever the Music Choice Channel plays “Mele Kalikimaka”, I always grab my coconut brassiere and grass skirt, run to my full-length mirror, and hope for a medley into “How’d Ya Like To Spend Christmas On Christmas Island?”! I can see all those handsome GIs waving and hooting for me again at the Munda Airstrip in the Solomon Islands! Bob Hope and the Sisters are there, and I give it my USO-best!!!  

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