Sybil Bruncheon's "Christmas Kitties Chaos in the Crèche!"... #6:

Fred Fur-Guson made life very simple and clear for his humans. Meals were to be served in a timely manner... in the proper (and GENEROUS!) portions, and, it goes without saying, always delicious! His litter was to be immaculate, he was to be petted and fussed over hourly, and his fresh-kills were to be admired and shown to the neighbors even if it wasn't convenient for them... for instance at breakfast times. With all that clearly in mind, it wasn't so surprising when the Academy of the Overly Friendly Shepherd announced its Christmas Pageant that Fred assumed he would be cast as the Blesséd Christ Child... and DID something about it!

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

Sybil Bruncheon's "Christmas Kitties Chaos in the Crèche!"... #5:

Mr. Whiskers was a brand new kitty in the household. He'd been found in the backyard on a very cold night, and, truth be told, the nice doctor had said that he might not have lasted another day if the humans hadn't brought him inside to be a part of the family. They fussed and cuddled and loved all over him... and showed him off to their neighbors from next door. Then one night, the humans decorated their house with lights and twinkly-wiggle-things and sticks and green-stuff that smelled like the outdoors where Whiskers had come from. He was scared at first, because he thought maybe he would be cold again... and hungry. Scary-hungry... but no! The humans even made him a little house with toy-people and toy-animals that were so little he could push them around. That made Whiskers laugh and laugh, especially the cow which he kicked around and finally carried around in his mouth and dropped in his cat-litter! Oh how THAT made him laugh. Finally, he climbed into his little house so cozy and warm and safe... and he settled in for the night. He looked around at all the toy-people and animals looking at him and smiling. Some were raising their arms as if to hug him! He felt very nice. Very, very nice. He wished every kitty, that EVERYONE could feel like this tonight... even the little baby beside him in the stick-bed.

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

Sybil Bruncheon's "Christmas Kitties Chaos in the Crèche!"... #4:

Mickey loved when his little human girl would read stories to him for hours on end! He would stare at her with wide eyes as the little girl (her name was Candy.. or Brandy... maybe Bruce?... whatever) would read on and on and act out all the different parts. His favorite story though was about someone named Alice who ate something and then got too big for the house she was in. His human would laugh and laugh and show Mickey the pictures of Alice punching through the roof and walls while people screamed and pointed and ran! Mickey decided that would be a fun thing to do to the special Christmas house his humans set up on the table. Just like Alice, he certainly was too big to fit inside... and he'd eaten a woman and a lamb too since no one gave him a cookie that said Eat Me... whatever.

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

Sybil Bruncheon's "Christmas Kitties Chaos in the Crèche!"... #3:

Blackie was perhaps the most cuddly, lovable, and well-behaved kitty that his humans had ever encountered... or even heard of. He never broke anything, brought scary things home and left them in embarrassing places, or chewed valuable items of clothing. He never even threw up in an expensive shoe or in a plate of food when no one was looking. But when his humans set up the little people and their farm animals, Blackie got a strange notion in his head. While his humans were out having a special dinner with their friends, Blackie decided to throw the little house on the floor and break it. And then he unraveled Grandma's favorite table cloth and left it out so everyone could see! Shortly after that, while he was pushing the little house closer and closer to the fireplace, he decided he wanted to change his name to Satan.

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

Sybil Bruncheon's "Christmas Kitties Chaos in the Crèche!"... #2:

Abner had decided that there was too much clutter in the funny little house his humans had put on the table. After nibbling on the stupid tree-thing which turned out to be made out of wood... or gunk, he casually moved the tchochke-people out of the way. He was careful not to brush them off the edge or to eat them... a consideration he did NOT extend to the ox-and-lamb combo... or the little drummer boy and one of the older men who seemed to be trying to bother the little boy... whatever.

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

Sybil Bruncheon's "Christmas Kitties Chaos in the Crèche!"... #1:

Gingey-Poo was totally enchanted by the funny little house that his human servants had surprised him with on the coffee table! And what a strange, yet amusing place to put it! Gingey always liked to be a part of any design decisions that were made... or rather "suggested" by his staff, and he spent the better part of the afternoon posing with the little figurines of people smiling, waving, mooing, or clutching their stomachs... whatever. Gingey's main concern was how beautifully he matched the overall color scheme of the little house and its people, how symmetrically he and the entire tableaux were presented, and how guests would come and pet him and tell him how pretty he was. There was just that stinking black and white pillow-thing still on the sofa... which he had warned them about before!... oh well... a little cat pee on it, and THAT would be THAT.

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

Sybil Bruncheon’s “TALES & TAILS”…

Em-meow-ly Dickinson remained isolated for the majority of her life inside her own home in Meowssachusetts, writing haikus, hosting small tea and rodent-sandwich parties for alley-way friends, and pawing through poetry books. One of her most famous poems was "Are You Nobody? Well, That's Not MY Problem!" She lived, much beloved, to the ripe old age of 23.... which some folks claimed was 160-something. She passed peacefully away while knocking various objects off the kitchen counter and yawning. She was buried in a Buster Brown shoe box with a bouquet of catnip and pussy willows clutched in her little paws and her favorite ball of yarn with an unfinished pair of mousey-slippers..... with little pink noses. All of Purr-tsmouth mourned…

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

Sybil Bruncheon's Christmas Stories Far & Near:.. Gaye Ann Beeker…

Gaye Ann Beeker was the most reserved member of the Beeker family, a large, prosperous, and prominent one in the Shaker Heights area. They had made their money in the 1800s in coal, and later in natural gas, and then on to automobile parts and finance. Wise investments matched with conservative spending saved them from the vagaries of the market, even through the Crash and the Depression. The Beekers were known for their philanthropy, generous but not ostentatious, although their names did appear on hospitals, museums, schools, universities, and even several dinner theatres and petting zoos.

It was Gaye Ann who had a soft spot for the more vulnerable recipients of the family's charities, particularly wildlife and domestic animals. She had spear-headed relief for circus animals and for better and more humane zoos, and she was reported to be the secret underground leader of a group of citizens who used terror tactics on pet shops and their owners who were discovered to be abusing or neglecting animals in their care. "The Rabid Rabbits", as they were called, were presumed to be a gang of well-funded vigilantes capable, as time went by, of increasing violence. Their members were sworn to secrecy, and no infiltration ever took place from outside authorities since their dedication was so heart-felt. And besides, who would ever suspect an heiress to such a fortune as the head of a terror gang?

Of course, Gaye Ann's natural disguise helped her. She had Methuselah Syndrome, a hereditary fluke. Here she is at 11 years of age at the height of her power, looking like "a kindly middle-aged lady" or "a frumpy housewife"..but actually an assassin!....And here's her little dachshund Kiełbaso, and that's just what she's reported to have yelled to him on their midnight raids; "KEEEEL, Basso! KEEEEL! KEEEEL!!!".......

[Postscript: Though the Social Register described her as "the most reserved member of the Beeker family", she, Kielbaso, and her friends and associates continued on as a vigilante group saving animals from hateful abusers. You see she had read "The Scarlet Pimpernel", and it affected her deeply. And she turned what some might think of as a liability into a tool of triumph and vengeance. She never married, but was much loved by folks and animals far and wide. She eventually died at 18 years of age, very happy and fulfilled. Kielbaso passed away in his sleep just two days later at the age of 136.]

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

Sybil Bruncheon's "People In Poetry"... page 91. ... "Dear Little Nancy on Voting Day!"...

Dear Little Nancy liked to skip and play.

Did she keep her Promises? No one could say.

Nancy said she’d register to VOTE and do her Duty.

But Mondays she always devoted to her day of Beauty.

Tuesdays are for visiting and chatting over Lunch!

Wednesdays are for Shopping and a large Rum Punch!

And don’t you know that Thursday’s a fine day to rest?

And then it’s time for Friday! Please don’t be a Pest!

Here it is the Weekend, and Friends have come to Town.

Time to have a Picnic and wear a Gingham Gown.

Day by Day and Week by Week, her Duty she’d forgotten.

And Folks began to gossip now, her Reputation rotten.

The months slid by, from Spring to Fall, her Duty ne’er remembered.

And finally it was Voting Day, the first Tuesday in November.

Dear Nancy came to the Polling Place, but was promptly turned away.

The nice Ladies there said, “Your name’s not here! You clearly mayn’t stay!”

But Nancy fussed and stamped her Feet and loudly made a Row!

“I care not what y’ say to me! I’ve come to VOTE right now!”

A nice Policeman passing by did seize her by her hair,

and swung her high around his Head and threw her through the Air.

She came down KOOOSH! upon the ground, some 20 feet or so.

An hour later she awoke, quite cross, and moaning low.

A kindly Lady passing by asked her what was wrong.

And Nancy told her Tale of woe, which really was much too long.

The Lady smiled and helped her up and invited her to tea.

“The polls are closed. You did not VOTE. You come along with me.”

They walked eleven miles or so, and down a Country lane,

And into woods so dark and deep. Then it began to rain.

Dear Nancy said that she was tired and longed to have a Rest.

The kindly Lady pointed to her Cottage on the Crest.

They tumbled in out of the rain to get so warm and cozy.

The House was sweet, and very clean and smelled of Spice and Posy.

“Now let me put a Kettle on, and you play with both my kitties.

Their names are Biff and Lancelot! Come along my little pretties!”

Nancy reached out to pet the Pair, but Biff gave her some Nips.

She pulled her bleeding Hand away, and Lancelot licked his lips.

She tried again to be a Friend and promptly got some Scratches.

The Lady then walked in the room and brought a box of Matches.

“I said before you did not VOTE! You did not pick a winner!

You did not do your Duty dear, and now you’ll be our Dinner!”.

The Lady lunged at Nancy then and gave her quite a Fright!

She grabbed her hem, and lit a match and set her dress alight.

Dear Nancy jumped and yowled so! Imagine her dismay.

It crossed her mind, “It’s Tuesday though! It’s Lunch and Visit day!”.

The flames leaped higher, higher then and burned her to a crisp

With little hissing “essing” sounds, (Nance always had a lisp!)

The Lady stuffed her full of peas, some carrots and a shallot.

Poor Nancy might have saved herself if she’d only cast a ballot.

She ended up inside their tummies, don’t think me too uncouth.

Just think how nice it might have been inside a Voting Booth.

Well that’s our tale of Nancy, dear. And Darlings, Please take note!

When Mummie says she loves you so, GO REGISTER AND VOTE!

(from SybilSez.com and Sybilbruncheon.com)

Sybil Bruncheon's NEW YEAR'S CELEBRATING: Before & After… A Cautionary “Tail”......

Oh, yes!! The party started out happily enough....a beautiful spread of delicacies, the right beverages, frisky music choices, festive party decorations, and games to play! But within an hour Melvin had grown bored and sullen. He began to reminisce about "missed mouse-opportunities" over the last 6 of his lives. Sulking, he slunk off to a corner and could not be cheered or engaged, either by a laser-pointer or a giant catnip toy shaped like Charlie the Tuna.

Gino, usually a big flirt on the back fence and always handy with a funny anecdote, descended into unwarranted bullying, face smacking, making stupid puns, and poking Melvin with his party hat. It only made Melvin sadder and he started yowling "The Legend of Billy McCaw" and miming sword fights with the curtains, which soon came down in a heap... causing more yowling, and even some spitting!

Big Clem, had started out the evening asleep in the chip bowl, and seemed content to remain there, snoring through all the drama… and the Fritos. But now, as the party became a nightmare, he added to the ruckus by snoring and FARTING... loudly.... and almost "musically", although it frightened most of the ladies present, and confused the guests over by the cheese tray.

And Handsome Herbie, always showing off his good looks and poise, ended up overindulging and vomiting into his hat!.... The whole evening basically "went to the dogs"!!

Please folks, use some sensible restraint tonight! Urge your cats to drink responsibly, or to assign a designated driver! DON'T let this happen to you!!! If you think you need help with YOUR unruly pussy, dial K-I-T-T-Y-K-A-O-S-S…that’s right, just dial 548-895-2677. The nice man will tell you how to order…or how to wrangle your cats.

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]