My friend, Leigh Gannon, shared this poem with me: "Nothing Is Too Small Not to Be Wondered About" by May Oliver...

The cricket doesn’t wonder if there’s a heaven

or, if there is, if there’s room for him.

It’s fall. Romance is over. Still, he sings.

If he can, he enters a house

through the tiniest crack under the door.

Then the house grows colder.

He sings slower and slower.

Then, nothing.

This must mean something, I don’t know what.

But certainly it doesn’t mean he hasn’t been an excellent cricket all his life.

[Want to read other stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

Sybil Bruncheon's "My Merry Memoirs"... Just lick here!...

Imagine my dismay, after saving green stamps for decades, never cashing them in on small, stupid household items, and finally having enough (literally 14 boxcars full) to buy the Chrysler Building (on page 343 of their catalogue!)... and to be told, "I'm sorry ma'am, S&H green stamps has gone out of business... but it sounds like you've got enough there to wallpaper a lovely guest bathroom!"...

[Want to read other stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

Tour-ette from my Cherry Grove garden on a perfect evening... feeling so grateful! 8/8/2023

[Want to see other videos or read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

Sybil Bruncheon’s “Seeing Is Believing… or is it?”...

Which of these is the correct explanation for this photo?

1) On the plant Gzzoolxton, naughty children are sent outdoors for a “time-out” as punishment. Interestingly, the term “time-out” is literal because the child is left outside for one of the interdimensional flying saucers to come by and take them to a parallel universe for several centuries… although they will still be back home in time for dinner… and a spanking.

2) Eugene Carpathy suffered from koinoniphobia: Fear of rooms! Yes, there IS an actual phobia for rooms! Can you believe it?... Oddly, Eugene only “developed” koinoniphobia after his uncle Frank asked him to repaint his four bedroom house… Frank got suspicious too when Eugene struggled with pronouncing “koinoniphobia”. He said “going-onion-phon-onia”.

3) Citizens of Badel-Badel, Hungary have a very compassionate health care system in place. No person is ever denied medical attention no matter what the malady or their financial situation. On the other hand, sometimes the treatment for various illnesses might be very similar. Fear of heights, caffeine withdrawal, willful sullenness, and chronic depression are all lumped under one “cure”… the patient is seated on a steel plate near a copper antenna rigged with yards of wire to wait for the next lightning strike… happily, there is only a nominal copay…

4) In San Souci, France, the Existential Festival on Albert Camus’ birthday was a time of yawning, sighing, staring into space, and the reciting of poetry that didn’t rhyme, usually by oneself or possibly while looking into a mirror if one wanted company. The promoters thought about marketing the weekend “Camus-Con”… but wondered… what’s the point?

5) Filbert’s incessant and deafening yodeling had completely emptied the town… Pastor Helgar dropped by to say goodbye before he left on the bus for Akron.

[Want to read other stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

From Sybil Bruncheon’s Merry Memoirs: Game Show Goofiness!

True Story! As professional and well-loved as the late Alex Trebek was on television’s iconic Jeopardy, there were apparently episodes which were shelved for any number of reasons. One in particular occurred during a game-show writers’ strike where Trebek and a late-night (and possibly drunk!) crew of cleaning staff decided to write the material for the next show… here are the topics that they surprised the players, the studio audience, and the sponsors with at show time! You decide…

1) PURPLE CLOTHING ITEMS,

2) OBLONG FRUITS AND VEGETABLES AND THEIR MISUSE BY CHILDREN,

3) FAMOUS PEOPLE EATEN BY CANNIBALS,

4) PRESIDENTS WITH SECRET BIZARRE HOBBIES,

5) ACTRESSES WITH MEN’S NAMES,

6) MEN WITH ACTRESSES’ NAMES,

7) DOGS AND CATS AND THEIR RECIPES,

8) PLANETS IN OTHER PARTS OF THE UNIVERSE,

9) FURNITURE THAT TALKS,

10) LINT

[Want to read other stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

Sybil Bruncheon's "WHO'Z DAT?"... Hollywood Birthdays in JULY!... The Great Beauties!

Answers Below!

(Clockwise from bottom left: Barbara Stanwyck, Gloria Stuart, Stephen Boyd, Farley Granger, Natalie Wood, Olivia de Havilland, Richard Egan, Leslie Caron, Yul Brynner, and Janet Leigh)

[Want to read other stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

Sybil Bruncheon's "A Simple Request"...

When I die, which is unfortunate, (but necessary!), I have the following requests to be fulfilled by my dear friends...

1] That the funeral ceremony itself should be kept to three acts, and certainly no more than five! If Shakespeare could tell his wonderful stories like HAMLET, A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM, and CORIOLANUS in five, I think it will appear that I'm filled with hubris to request an entire weekend-long cycle of recitatives, epic poem readings, interpretive dance and contortionist performances (with or without full nudity), pie eating and throwing contests, bizarre miming with quarrelsome pets, and juggling (possibly with sharp and/or burning objects).

2] That only the most attractive photographs of me be posted around the stadium (or wherever the funeral is held to contain the expected crowd) and that said-photos never be the candid ones of me bending over to dry myself fresh from the tub, eating difficult food items often from far-off countries where only Andrew Zimmer and Anthony Bourdain would eat, and finally, that set of "French post cards" I modeled for when things got particularly tight during my blacklisting in Hollywood... (Senator Joe McCarthy can go f*uck himself!)

3] Concerning the above, the "attractive" photos should be published in the hard-bound and leather trimmed funeral-program to be (forcibly!) sold to all the attendees of the funeral... $29.95... not a bad price for a 312 page volume!... especially autographed by the deceased! If enough people complain about the price, I suppose we could do a paperback version of it, but WITHOUT autographs!

4] During the breaks between the acts, when the gourmet delicacies and dinner courses are being served, there should be an open mic or perhaps several mics for guests to feel free (or pressured!) to tell cheerful and even inspiring anecdotes of my life, my talent, my physical beauty, and any stories of me saving orphans, kittens, or houseplants from devastating fires, earthquakes, or banking malfeasance.

5] The decorations and dress code should, of course, be black... but with cheerful pops of color, perhaps in boutonnieres for the men and wrist corsages for the ladies... or perhaps BOTH for the gender-fluid or reassigned mourners! (Please! No baby’s breath!) The wait-staff should be dressed in white jackets and ties so as not to confuse the guests during beverage and hors d'oeuvres service... and later during the sit-down banquets!

 6] All music both as performances during the various acts and in the background of the meals (or in the elevators) should be of an uplifting nature whether profoundly sad or raucous and even bawdily entertaining! Classical pieces, Broadway show-tunes, and sailor shanties are all welcome, especially accompanied by ballet, adagio, apache-dancing, and tap breaks! Again, partial or total nudity is permissible if it enhances the message of the musical piece. (A small stipend has been set aside for performances by outsiders who are only "guesting" at the funeral and are not actual mourners! Equity guidelines are in place... and will be strictly enforced! We can't have various show-persons hoping to take advantage of a tragic occasion to profit!)

7] At the end of the entire funeral pageant, we can politely (but firmly!) ask all the guests to please fold their chairs and stack them neatly against the walls in an orderly fashion to help the overworked wait-staff with their clean-up. A funeral that size will require at least two or three days of clean-up, and I won't have my legacy be that working people were disadvantaged or traumatized by my passing. Besides, depending on where my funeral is held, there might be other bookings or rentals to follow almost immediately: 4H Jamborees, county fairs and livestock shows, demolition derbies, or public executions.

8] During the public funeral procession to the cemetery, the crowds of mourners behind the 22-horse-drawn (highly decorated!) funeral carriage should not only openly cry, but also laugh, (loudly!) to emphasize my ability at comedy! I would prefer that they hold and read from small pamphlets of my writings and wave them in the air as they pass the hundreds of onlookers... if they laugh and point at the carriage, it may convey the wrong idea of my passing. Just a thought.

9] At the cemetery, it should be revealed that, as a surprise bonus for my guests, the coffin should not only be open, but that it should be doused with gasoline and set on fire, and that Mummie has decided to be a giant hibachi for an after-funeral barbecue! (Public cremation will also make our Indian friends and any ancient Romans feel a certain welcome to the festivities!) Square dancing, jug bands, hog-calling, and all sorts of barnyard merriment should thoroughly remove all the typical funeral-dreariness from the day (or early evening by that point!) Guests can either change into outdoor and festive attire... or disrobe completely! For vegetarian and vegan guests, a selection of kabobs should be offered. Everyone else can eat barbecued pork, chicken, sausages, beef, lamb, goat... but with their hands. There's no need at this point to drive the expense of the funeral up with fine china, silverware, and linens. Half of them are show-people anyway... they won't know the difference!

10] … and finally, please make sure to film the entire thing... every moment, every nuance, and in all the locations!... Just in case there IS some sort of after-life, I should like very much to watch it again and again and again to know that someone actually noticed I had been there at all... and wasn't anymore. In any event; don't be sad! Death will have come for me as an old and comforting friend. I thank you.

[Want to read other stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

From Sybil Bruncheon’s Merry Memoirs: It's all relative... or... whatever...

Helen Keller once said, “I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.”…

... well… I once cried because I had no mittens, and then I passed a man who had no thumbs. He couldn't tie his shoes, or button his shirt, or... uh... well, take care of... "business", and he happened to have been extremely well-built and handsome... and ...well, I struck up a conversation with him, and we... uh... hit it off. I treated us to lunch at a local cafe just outside the alley we met in, and we went off together to a cheap roadside hotel for a long weekend of rough sex and scintillating conversation! You know the type. Anyway, I decided to take him home, but on the way, as he put his big arm around me and stared into my eyes, he asked me why I was crying. I said, "Because I have no mittens.".... he stopped, turned me to face him and said as sweetly as possible, "But Sybil.... It's July...."

(Portrait by Olan Montgomery)

[Want to read other stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

*Tour-ette from my Cherry Grove garden on a lovely Summer's day. 7/2/2023

[Want to see other videos or read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

Sybil Bruncheon's People and Poetry...

Puckered lips and rasping snarl, Squinty eyes and ready quarrel, Crab-like gestures, orange pout, Greasy handshake, bulbous snout.

Cotton candy ‘stead of hair. Bloated torso but no heart there. Sawed in half you’d find some guts, Jimmy Hoffa, a stack of smuts.

And when he slithers ‘cross the floor, There’s a trail of slime, and maybe gore. He’ll grab your privates; no invite needed. Repeated lawsuits, threats unheeded.

Billions? Millions? Maybe less. Angst and anger, viral stress. He lives for fame and adoration. And bilks his minions, rapes the nation.

“I’ll drain the swamp! I swear! I promise. And appoint fair judges, like Clarence Thomas." Thanks, red-voters, for your behemoth-mess… Who is this monster? Can you guess?

[Want to read other stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]